I’ve been having super vivid dreams the last few days. Not only vivid, but exciting and fun, as well. Weird, but never scary. One night I dreamt that I was walking from one house, to another, at night. And I had to walk through a bit of forrest to get there. The moon was full, but it was otherwise dark. My friend, Spanky, was in my dream, and he did not want me to walk alone, so he took my hand and walked with me, which I remember thinking was terribly sweet. I told him about the dream and then we had a fascinating chat about the subconscious. [forests or woods are supposed to symbolize the subconscious, and if you are lost in the dream, if may indicate a lack of clear direction. I was not, however lost.]

In last night’s dream, I went to a big BBQ picnic at a friends house, a labor day party. They had a really big house, lots of land, a pool, even a lake bordering their property. I thought it was just a party for friends, but then, soon, I noticed there were all these bands there. Including the bad that has been in heavy rotation for me lately: The Eels.

At work, I am listening to The Eels: Beautiful Freak. Every third time, I cleanse the palette with either the soundtrack to Whale Rider or the soundtrack to Twin Peaks, and then I am back for two more rounds of Beautiful Freak. Currently, at home and in the car, I am listening to a playlist I call "Matilda." [which I will probably explain tomorrow, when I do the Then and Now] This playlist features the title track from Beautiful Freak, which is a song I can just not get out of my head. I think it is probably one of the sweetest love songs I know. And I am ever so hopeful that it shows up in tonight’s dream as well.

The Eels: Beautiful Freak

For sentimental reasons, my favorite star is Thuban. By no means the brightest star in the sky, Thuban is the third, and brightest, star of the constellation Draco, the dragon, third star from the end – on the tail. In fact, Thuban is one of the dimmest named stars in the sky. But looks, and positions of importance on the tail, can be deceiving! Because our planet, and this is my favorite part, actually wobbles on it’s axis. It suffers from a phenomenon called “gyroscopic precession, the slow movement of the axis of a spinning body around another axis due to torque. Because of this, from about 3000 to 1900 BC, Thuban was the closest to the North Pole. It was our polestar. Until it was replaced by Kochab, which held court until 1100 BC when our current polestar, Polaris, in the Little Dipper, took over. However, sassy little Thuban sat north during the times of the Ancient Egyptians. Astronomers discovered that apparent air shafts that bore out from burial chambers inside the Great Pyramid actually pointed to Thuban on one side, and the belt of Orion on the other.

Thuban’s time of importance is not over. The earth continues to wobble on it’s axis, true north will continue to shift and everything changes. By AD 12,000 our polestar will be Vega, of the constellation Lyra. And right behind it, Thuban will be waiting in the wings, ready to take over again, the dimmest named star in the sky, third star from the end of the dragon tail.

Kids, if you are planning to wear some platform mules that are already kinda slippery on your feet, you might want to take it easy on the after shower body lotion. Otherwise, your feet may slide off the shoe, causing you to do that twisty ankle tripping thing, and you’ll be forced to use your head, with assistance from the wall, to break the fall because most likely your hands are full, but you’ll probably end up dropping anything anyway. At the very least, you’ll look like a spaz.

Chris tagged me to identify five idiosyncratic tendencies that I posses.

Me: I don’t think I have idiosyncrasies. Everything I do makes perfect sense.

Mr. Moon: The fact that you think everything you do makes perfect sense is number one on your list of idiosyncrasies.

Of course, when you put it that way, I have far more than five. So I just went with the first five that came to mind.



1. The Food Thing – I don’t like my food to touch. Each individual foodstuff should exist in it’s own protected sanctuary, unsullied by the flavors of other entrees. Casseroles? Don’t like ’em. That’s just a big dish of food touching. Some food can touch. For instance, turkey can touch stuffing, but not mashed potatoes. Some foods I know need to touch, and I’ve come to terms with that, and accepted it… like salsd. My mom has old fashioned school trays at her house. With little compartments for the different dishes, she always puts that at my place setting. So when I have brunch, and we have Norwegian pancakes, my syrup will not touch my eggs or my bacon! It’s genius.

2. The Vegetable Thing – I don’t like vegetables. The only ones I like are lettuce, spinach [raw], broccoli [raw] and carrots [raw]. I like no cooked vegetables. No, I don’t like corn on the cob. Yes, I mean it, I really don’t like corn on the cob. Even with butter and salt. My mom told me I would like vegetables when I grew up. Either she’s wrong, or I haven’t really grown up. You be the judge.

3. The Parking Thing – I’m a very competitive parker. I’m also a fairly consistent parker. I have a certain area in which I park my car, every day, at work. And it doesn’t vary, until I switch to a new area. I also have a favorite parking spot. And even though there is zero chance of me not being able to park my car when I return, I am loath to leave the garage at lunch, because that means I might lose my parking spot. Keep in mind, I don’t have to walk blocks and blocks from the parking garage, or take a shuttle. Even if I parked in the most remote spot of the garage, it would take less than a minute to get to the door. it’s just that that is MY spot. And if I am lucky enough to nab it in the morning, I’m not giving it up!

4. The Feet Thing – I’m not overly fond of feet. Baby feet are cute. Kitty feet are cute. But people feet, especially grown ups, blech. I don’t want to see feet and I certainly do not want them touching me. I used to be even worse. I’ve gotten better. But you know that movie, My Left Foot? Couldn’t watch it. First thing you saw was a close up of a foot. Ick. When I was a little kid, my family would put their feet on me, just to aggravate me. And my mom would ask me what happened when I got married, what would I do then? And I told her I’d know it was true love when I could tolerate his feet. Tolerate, not appreciate or adore.

5. The Spelling Thing – I’m not unintelligent, but I have real issues with spelling. I simply cannot be bothered. Back in the beginning of the überbrain, when we’d have marathon chat sessions, Arifa coined the phrase “Jodespeak,” which occurs when one simply cannot be bothered to even attempt to spell a word, but rather just enough for the reader to figure it out due to context, using random letters to fill in the rest. Idiosyncrasskithieties, for example. As a side note, my language is fairly fluid, and I will combine words as i see fit and not even recognize what is wrong.

Honorable mentions go to The Memory Thing, The Sleep Thing, and The Total and Complete Lack of Physical Coordination Thing, which did not make it on the list. Maybe some other day. I’d love to see what you guys all come up with for your own lists.

Tomorrow is Louise’s birthday. But today she brought cupcakes to work for everyone. I learned two British things today. Apparently, when it’s your birthday, it’s tradition that you bring the cake for everyone. So Louise ordered dozens of lovely cupcakes from Cupcake Royale. When we went to pick them up today, she got an extra dozen “babycakes” so as not to run out of cupcake goodness. We, of course, had to sample the babycakes as soon as we got back to the car. I sampled chocolate with chocolate frosting. Awesomely delicious. You could taste the cocoa used in the frosting. Not cheap crisco frosting, I’ll tell you what. They had a t-shirt there that said “legalize frostitution” and I wanted it bad. But I have, like, 973 t-shirts already. But it was a pink ringer T! Oh how I want that shirt. I’m pretty sure the happiness derived from that shirt would change my entire life. Right?

The second thing I learned is that, in Britain, they call cupcakes “fairy cakes.” And x-mas lights are called “fairy lights.” I guess that the UK is the land of the fairies. Later, during the Official Eating of the Fairy Cakes, I had a lemon drop cake. Second to chocolate things, I like lemon flavored things best. Yummmm.

Tomorrow, Tessa, Louise, Louise’s BF and I are going to see the Violent Femmes play an outdoor concert at the zoo. Where we plan to eat thai food and sit on blankets and listen to the monkeys. Surprisingly, it’s not even expected to rain. It should be quite pleasant, in the mid 70’s. I’ll let you know.

Miss Kitty [Tessa], Boss, Ace Barracuda, and I, Miss Conduct, played poker out in the sunshine, in the courtyard at lunch today. I was on fire! Of course, for someone who was on fire, I was awfully cool. I went into a hand with pocket ace’s, and ended up with a full house. And I made everyone pay BIG TIME to play that hand.

We had an audience for bit, watching the game. Someone from the shipping dept. At one point, when I was dealing, I slapped down the river and said something like “POW!” or “BANG!” Shipping dept. guy deadpans, “whoa. that was a thunderous boom. that’s quite a voice you’ve got there. it echoed.” He wasn’t joking, he really thought it was a thunderous boom. It was just my outside voice. I was just having fun. But that brought Tessa and I to that stage of laughter where no sound is coming out, and you are clutching your stomach. Maybe my thunderous boom is one of my super powers.

I’m going to an my friend’s gallery opening tonight after work. I thought I’d try to be all classy and shit, so I wore a shirt with buttons and a collar. No text or graphics. And, unfortunately, it’s white. And sure enough, it’s got Wendy’s Frosty on it now. I don’t know why I even try. Yesterday I was telling the artist that I was going to be there.

“Louise and I are coming over after lunch… I mean after dinner… I mean after work! sheesh.”

At that point I laughed at myself, but I was also about to take a sip of water, I had the bottle to my lips, but didn’t notice how close to the rim it was filled, and ended up spraying water all over myself.

“That was perfect!”

“Thanks, I try”

It’s not that I am a spaz, it’s just that I have special skills.

We join Tessa, Louise and I in mid conversation at lunch.

Jodi: Dallas maybe?

Louise: Maybe

Jodi: yup, lived there too.

Tessa: wow, you really get around

Jodi: that’s what they say about me.

Louise: So have you ever been to Lukenbach?

Jodi: Where?

Louise: Lukenbach Texas… you know, like the song.

Tessa: What song?

Louise: The song! You know.. that one song.

Tessa and Jodi: yes, of course, that ONE song.

Louise: [in a hesitant voice, sings, with no discernible melody] …Luckenbach Texas…. something.

Tessa and Jodi laugh hysterically. Because we’re fun like that.

Tessa: Do you know any other lyrics that might help us out?

Jodi: Who sings it?

Louise: I don’t know, Johnny Cash maybe? It’s confusing because there is also that place Lubbock. [pronounced as loo-BOCK.]

Jodi: loo-BOCK? You mean Lubbock? L-u-b-b-u-c-k? [pronounced as luh-buck]

Louise: I don’t know! I don’t know how it’s spelled, Waylon Jennings is from there or something?

Tessa: We are not going to be able to help you out on this one. You are going to have to google it.

Jodi: yeah, you are going to have to do some sassy detective work. Regardless, no, I have never been to Lukenbach, to the best of my knowledge.

Frankly, I’m surprised a Scottish girl new that much about country music, and musicians from Texas. Turns out, Waylon Jennings sang the song. He is not from Lukenbach. She is right, tho, he did live in Lubbock. I can barely remember the song, now that I have seen the lyrics. Some information about Lukenbach:

“Hondo Crouch, local rancher and regional folk hero bought Luckenbach in 1970 when he saw an ad in the paper “town- pop.3- for sale.” Luckenbach became this poet – sage’s stage where he held the first Women’s Only Chili Cook-off, a World’s Fair (because he proclaimed Luckenbach as the center of the Universe) & Return of the Mud Dauber Day (as do swallows in Capistrano).

After Hondo died in 1976 his music making friends penned the song “Luckenbach Texas” which was recorded by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson in 1978. The song, now a classic, became a number one smash hit all across the nation and beyond putting Luckenbach on the map for good.”

Oh come on, you know you wanted to know! If I have a son, I am seriously considering naming him Hondo.

I’m adopting. Yes, it’s true. I am going to become a parent. TO A BAT!!! That’s right, I’ve adopted a Grey Headed Flying Fox. I can hardly wait until I get my “endearing letter” from my bat! I’m so excited. I will be sure to update you when news of my bat arrives. Surely this will be the event, or purchase, that will fill that aching, longing, empty feeling I have, right?

So all of you having babies out there… Ha! Take that! I have a BAT!!

Meanwhile, this frightens me, I took a quiz, to find out what kind of bat I would be…

Yesterday, when I was driving home from work, I felt certain that someone must have slipped some funny mushrooms in my lunch. Because everything was so beautiful. The lake was so dark blue and deep, I wanted to jump off the bridge and go swimming. I didn’t, because I would have had to stop the car, which would have blocked one of only two lanes of eastbound traffic. Also, you should know, this is a floating bridge, so it’s not like I was high up I would have killed myself. However, the current was coming towards the bridge on my side and it could have slammed me up against some concrete, splitting my head like a coconut. So, not worth it. The greens were more saturated, the sky was clear and I could see every single mountain range, clear as day. Including Mount Rainier. It was so clear, I felt I could touch it. I’m fairly certain I saw deer. Of course, they looked like the ants that an ant would have at his picnic. If they had picnics.

So, what do you think? Funny mushrooms in my lunch? or was I just looking at things through a Photoshop filter.

Tomorrow’s 50 word fiction theme is: hearts.

When I first moved into the Easy Back Apartment, oh.. about 10 years ago, I was petless. And soon I decided that maybe I was mature enough to handle the responsibility of a pet. But what kind to get? At this point, I did not think it was wise to try to get a cat, as it might pester my allergies. [Obviously, I changed my mind about that.] I was researching what type of pet to get. Bunny? Sugar Glider? Chinchilla? Soon, I noticed a small hive like structure on the roof overhang, over my balcony. It was tiny, and around it buzzed three little bees.
"Hello little bees!"
"bzzzzzz"
"Would you like to live here with me and be my pets?"
"bzzzzz"
"Awesome! I shall name you… Banjo! And you, I am going to name Butrous. No, just the one Butrous, you are too small for a double Butrous. And finally, you shall be… Babaganoush. Because I like saying it, that’s why."
"bzzzz"
For a few weeks, the bees and I lived happily. I would come home from work and great the bees, ask them about their day. The never seemed threatened by me or behaved aggressively. But one day, I came home… and the hive was GONE!! Now, I lived on the top floor, the only way to get onto my balcony was through my apartment, or to crawl down, precariously, from the roof. Of course, the three bees were gone as well. They had been beeknapped. I waited for a ransom note. I never received anything. Some maintenance main probably thought he’d knock down the hive with a broom from the roof or something.
I mourned their loss. And not long after, I got Phoebe the Bunny aka: The B. Just one B.
Dan, I am so happy that you brought up wasps. Because it gives me the opportunity to share with you the audio of one of my favorite people I don’t even know… Eddie Izzard. He shall explain to us the difference between Bees and Wasps. Bees are good. Wasps are fuckers.
Enjoy! I heart Eddie!