first ever recent photo of me on this blog. I am smirking. It took several smirks to get it right, Marie was acting as smirk judge. I have several. Smirks that is.

Don’t say I never did anything for you.

Finally, something that makes sense to me. The Unitarian Jihad. I’ve always known that Unitarians are kick ass, it’s about time we step up deal with prevalence of extreme fundamentalist thought, in this country. Read the article above, and then join the revolution and get your Unitarian Jihad Name.

“We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: “Sincerity is not enough.” We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it’s true doesn’t make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn’t mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.”

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: Sister Nunchuku of Sweet Reason.

Get yours.

PS: Drink at Work Blog is my new favorite blog, and I got the link to the Unitarian Jihad name generator from there. In a post that shows that cartoonists are no more insane then girls who work in tech support for large software corporations. By the way, Amelia’s Unitarian Jihad name is Sister Spikey Mace of Enlightened Compassion.

God dammit, I’m scared of America again.

The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee and all UW schools may be denied access to birth control if a bill proposed by State Rep. Daniel LaMahieu [sic] becomes law. If passed, the UW Birth Control Ban bill will prohibit health care facilities on campus from dispensing, advertising or prescribing birth control to adult female students. LaMahieu proposed the bill because he feels access to birth control “encourages women to be promiscuous.”

What if it does? What if it does encourage women to be promiscuous. Who the hell does he think he is to sit in judgment of us? When did our government become the shepherds of female morality? Fuck you, Mr. LaMahlieu. And be sure to keep that morning after pill from rape victims, while you’re at it. You pompous, arrogant, over compensating, presumptuous, uptight, misogynistic, conceited little prick.

Ok, I’m done. [fuckwit] I should be able to lay off the profanity now. I realize my potty mouth is what garners me all the interesting search phrases. [assclown]. No….. sorry…. I can’t seem to move past the name calling stage. [prissy little cock sucker] Aaarrrrghhh!!!!

Now it’s my patriotic duty to be slutty, doesn’t he understand that?

link from This is not over.

My punk rock little brother, Josh, is investigating low cost vasectomies, because he doesn’t want to “breed.” And I’m ok with that, I understand he doesn’t want to have kids. But I think a low cost vasectomy is a bad idea. Besides, most doctor’s won’t give a one to someone his age, he’s too young. He insists that he really really does not want to have kids. Also, he insists that the world is going to end in 2012, as predicted by the Mayans. So why have kids. Makes sense, so I made a deal with him, if the earth still exists in 2013 I will get him a vasectomy for his birthday. His 31st birthday, Feb. 2013, if he still does not want kids, I will buy him a vasectomy. In the mean time, it’s condoms. Everyone here is my witness. [I’ll start saving because, no offense Ancient Mayan culture, but … have you met Nostrodamus? You guys would get along great.]

Any money he makes that can be used for a vasectomy should be set aside for his teeth. Or to attend to vegan culinary school.

Ok, so I wasn’t really #6 on a “good spanking” google search. I am, however, #100 on a msn search for “hot slut.” out of 231+ million hot sluts out there. That’s not bad. Still, you’ve got to be pretty devoted to finding hot sluts, to stick it out until #100. I was probably a disappointment.

But I am curious about #231,355,502… I don’t think they are living up to their full potential.

This morning I woke up early, couldn’t go back to sleep. So eventually I gave up, got dressed and went out to run errands. I went down to “Babies R Us” to buy presents for my cousin Kirsten’s baby shower tomorrow. She’s having a boy. I was put into a coma that only the übercute can cause, I must have been in their an hour trying to find baby clothes that satisfied me all levels. It had to have that baby cuteness, something that would make people say “awwwww!” But it could not be so cutesy it made me gag. Couldn’t have too many cute critters on it. Couldn’t say something stupid like “Future Golfer.” Had to be soft. Preferably with stripes, because i love them so. It’s not as easy as it sounds. I wanted a pair of plain osh kosh overalls, hopefully the stripey kind. But no. And all the overalls I found had stuff all over them. I could have handled turtles, but when they also said “I love Mommie!” it made me cringe. But finally, I found some tiny baby stuff that I loved. Ummm. it had lions and it had giraffes and it had other animals and stripes. and it was blue. soooo cute! Widdle socks. Widdle hat. Lots of money.

So I came home super proud of myself for getting that present the day before, instead of the day of – my usual procedure. I worked on my review, I took some quizzes, I answered some email, and then I decided I deserved a nap. At 2:45 the phone rings and I hear my mom leaving me a message. Where am I? They thought I was coming to the shower? It started at two. The shower was today. And I had felt so ahead of the game, for once! So I threw on jeans that did not have a hole and took off. I decided the House of Skulls t-shirt was ok, because it was clean. By the time I got there, all the strawberries for the chocolate fondu were gone, but there was still pound cake. And pineapple.

In addition to having a baby, my cousin Kirsten is planning her wedding in October. Which may seem backwards, but we don’t care about things like that in my family. It just seems like so much… planning for a baby in June, planning for your wedding in October. More than I could handle. Kirsten is on the petite side, and has always worn high heels. Shoes I could never walk in. Her feet are permanently on tippy toe, like a Barbie doll. But today, 7 months pregnant, she was in flats. Which is so strange to see.

Kirsten: I could have handled the heels, it’s just that I am so hot lately, I couldn’t bear to put on shoes, so I went with flip-flops.

My mom Pattie: It’s ok, Kirsten, you don’t need the fuck-me pumps anymore.

Jodi: bwwhahahahaa! My mom said fuck-me pumps!! She’s been watching too much Sex in the City.

I like to look at my webstats, particularly the referrals. And search words. It’s like having a collection of something. I just like to take them out and look at them. Because a certain phrase came up three times in one week, I followed the google link to see how I ranked. And I can now tell you that if you do a search for the phrase “good spanking” I am number six.

WHOO-HOO!! Number six! Looking to be number one!!

Arifa asked me an interesting question, after visiting Satan’s Bookclub. Since I don’t really believe in hell, do I believe in heaven?

Arifa: do you believe in heaven? because i was thinking about how you don’t believe in hell…

Jodi: i believe in an afterlife of some kind. but not a christian heaven. per se. what about you?

Arifa i believe in cheese toast which i am having now

Jodi: oh my god! THAT IS HEAVEN! HEAVEN EXISTS!

I never really think about whether or not I believe in heaven. But I guess, if you are looking at a Judeo-Christian definition of heaven, I don’t. It’s such a good story though! Heaven and hell, the war of angels, Lucifer’s fall from grace, which took seven days, I believe. It’s an epically good story! But…

Jodi: it’s like, what is good and what is evil? you know what good and evil are? they are constructs of man. if there is a higher place of existence, it probably does not anything to do with good and evil. whoa. i got kinda deep.

The more I think about quantum physics, which i do on a regular basis, the less I believe in heaven and hell. The more I try to conceptualize being made up of atoms, the less I believe the definition of God that Christianity, Judaism and Islam have come up with. When the reality of our existence is so much more amazing than what they gave us in their holy books. For as long as I can remember, even as a young child, I would stop and think about my birth, the fact that I existed. Once I understood how babies were made, I realized how very amazing it was that I was me, and not someone else. With all those sperm fighting for that egg, I won the lottery of existence. It could have very well been a different sperm that made it there first and POOF, I would not be here. I could trip on these thoughts for hours. Or I would lay on the ground and look up at the night sky. I’d picture myself there, lying on the grass, in relation to my neighborhood, to my town, to my state, and so on until I was attempting to relate myself to the universe at large. And it would freak me out.. what a damn miracle it was. What a terribly unlikely, mathematically impossible miracle it was, that our galaxy existed in this universe of galaxies, that our planet existed among all these other planet with no apparent life on them, how on this planet, there lived a girl in some state – some city, who existed only because one out of hundreds of millions of sperm made it to the egg first.

Which may be why I never took drugs, growing up.

I was in training all day, I did not spend a single minute at my desk. During one of the breaks, KK and I were walking across the street from the plaza building to the waterfront building. We were on the sidewalk, next to a giant dumpster, that has a long chute stretched up to the 2nd floor. They are doing construction up there. In her hand, she held one of the coveted Lemon Bars from upstairs. These things are very very good. I was about tell her about the Lemon Bar addiction that Louise and I went through, for about three weeks, when all of the sudden a heard of joggers came towards us. About twelve young men, all in very good shape, the majority of them with no shirt on, surrounded us and jogged past.
"Oh those lemon bars are… are… lemon and the … yummy…goodness….uh…. oh my!"
*giggle*
“When you tell this story, be sure to mention how most of them had their shirts off.”
“Oh, I will.”

and i don’t know why!

EDITED TO ADD:
you know what it was? It was that evil test down below… the one that tells me what a lazy, snacky, sloppy, romantic, paranoid, needy, mystical, rebellious, avoidant, immature, albeit intelligent and artistic, slut I am. with it’s sneaky “div” tages in the results!