[editor note: for the first time, part of this blog was written offsite, by hand in my journal. giving it a bakery fresh, on the scene, freshness that was previously missing from other blog updates.]
on sunday, i decided to hunt down my missing friend aislann. the last known number i had for her was no longer good. the last time i had heard from her, she’d left me a voice mail telling me that she and her husband had split. the only email address i have really belongs to him. so…. i don’t know if they split for good. probably not. but still. so i decided to go drive by her last known place of residence. aka: her house. but i missed the exit. because i was day dreaming. which meant that soon i was shooting north on i-5. heading for everett.
at that point, why NOT just keep going until you reached marysville. and therefore the new tulalip casino that just opened last week. it costs a bunch of money. millions and millions. and you know what that means? SHINY!! you bet. that’s why i am sitting here, in the parking lot of a walmart, just down the road from the tulalip casino. it was my hope to soak in the ambiance and then sit in the cafe and write about it. but the cafe is not open yet.
it’s a gorgeous place, i’ll tell you what. it looks all vegassy inside. the only thing that’s missing is the sound of coins. all the slot machines are video slots. however, some of them do add the sound of coins when you are entering your credits from your ticket, or “cashing out.” and they even had my very most favorite slot machine, jackpot party!! albeit the video version. i don’t really like the video version. and i’m not just saying that because i was SCREWED multiple times, out of having my jackpot party. slots are evil. every time i play them, which until today, has been in vegas, i’ve because i little less enchanted with them. not quite so drawn by the pretty lights and sounds. i didn’t play too long, but i left down, rather than up. feh. next time i go back, i’m going to play blackjack.
and that is how i ended up here, in the walmart parking lot. am i going in? HELL YEAH i’m going in!! gambling and walmart go hand in hand. don’t you think?
much much later….
walmart is one of the most unpleasant retail environments out there today. now i know why i don’t shop there. it’s only my 2nd time in one. maybe i thought that the experience i had in arizona, at walmart, was unique. and i would go ahead and go in to buy kitty litter and various other little things. it was HELL. that place is horrible. the lighting is horrible, the noise is horrible, the appalling lack of personal space is horrible. the very lack of feng shui. you can almost see energy being sucked out of the top of your head, and swallowed up by giant fan. i bet that’s how they pay their electric bill. they harness the energy… the hopes, dreams, desires of their patrons into some futuristic energy sponge. and that’s how they fuel their empire. and because you don’t even know it’s happening, it’s free. and that’s how come the prices are so low.
give me target any day.

some thing or someone was testing my patience last night. my INFINITE FUCKING PATIENCE, i might add. my apartment was too hot and airless [and too messy, actually] to be comfortable last night. so i thought i would go see a breezy and funny movie. i went to see “down with love.” when i first walked in, i was the only one there. i took one of three seats that have handrails, instead of seats, in front of them. because the seats in front of them are actually spaces for wheelchairs. i did that so i could put my feet up on the bars and be comfy. soon, another couple came in. and older couple, with a heavy accent of some kind. and they sat DIRECTLY BEHIND ME!! that’s just wrong. there was an entire empty theatre and they sat behind me. ok. whatever. technically, that was not part of my personal space. i suppose. but it is. it really is, you know. if the entire theatre is empty, sitting directly behind me is an invasion of my personal space. other people came in, but it certainly did not get full. it was a thursday night movie crowd. most people were probably out enjoying the weather. which is crazy.
so, anyway AFTER the movie started, the woman tapped me on the shoulder to tell me that she might, periodically, have to put her foot up on the arm rest next to me, as she just had surgery. i thought that meant she’d prop her foot up on the arm rest, like most people do, and said, “ok.” but what she meant was “i will be moving my ankle between the two seats, yours on the left, and the empty one on your right, and i will be resting my entire leg on the arm rest, with my foot encased in old lady pantyhose anklets. and yes, my foot will touch your arm, you will be unable to avoid it. this is why i chose to sit directly behind you, instead of in a row with no one in front of me. because i thought it would be more considerate.”
everyone knows i hate feet!! especially the feet of people i don’t know. i wanted to get up and move. but i had my perfect spot, man. so i decided to accept this as a test from god. a test of my ninja powers to ignore my environment. plus, when she took her foot down for a while, i leaned on that arm rest for a while. i claimed it. it was mine to begin with. she had a whole theatre of rows with no one in front of them!! bitch!!
and yes, that is a god damn simpson quote. because it summed it up nicely and i couldn’t think of a quote i wanted. i tried. i gave up. i’m using those same ninja powers to ignore the fact i’ve lowered myself to the point of using simpson quotes.
hey, but you know what? the movie was delightful! go see it.

every once in while, someone says something obscure that provides me with a great blog title. this comes from adam, on the brain. explaining it won’t make it funnier. let’s just say i was muy muy crabito, or perhaps crabita, this morning. baaaaad. and some people were cruisin’ for a beating, just by existing. in my defense, they are annoying on a good day. anyway, for some reason, this reply of adam’s just cracked me up. i sat there laughing out loud for several minutes. and i regained some humanity. so… pudding for everyone!!! it is good to be a genius.
my dublin style dr pepper has not yet arrived. i did have several other tasty sodas this weekend. i san pellegrino limonata. lemon is a good thing. jone’s soda MF Grape soda, and jone’s soda cherry soda. [in answer to your question , fee, i got your bottle cap pin from jone’s soda itself. they are bottled here, in seattle, and they were at the fremont fair one year. ] i have no idea what the MF in the Grape soda stands for. maybe it’s Mother Fucking Grape. anyway, the grape tasted like kool aid. it was ok. if you wanted a totally surgary tasting drink with bubbles. no grapes were harmed in the creation of this soda. the cherry was much better. i like it. i also had a moxie cherry cola and it was very good. in case you can’t tell, i made a stop at a local beverage mart.
the sad part about my dublin style dr pepper is that i am strongly considering going on a low carb diet. that would pretty much rule out dr pepper until i reached phase three. i can’t start the diet until i’ve at least had a couple of bottles. right? besides, i’m still reading the fitness plan book, so i am not ready to begin. and no, it’s not atkins. i’ll tell you more about it when i am done with the book. i’m learning a lot of unfortunate things about being carbohydrate sensitive. that’s what they call it. basically, it means i eat all the wrong things, and the bad carbs could be the source of all my ills. a lot of it makes sense, however. dammit. it’s not forever… i’ll have dr pepper again. and after the first two weeks, i might even have it occasionally. depends on how many carbs are in one of those little bottles. there were 46 in the jones cherry soda. hint: that’s a FUCKING TRUCKLOAD of bad sugar carbs. that, my friends, is a road to diabete’s type II, if you aren’t careful.
*shudder*
was i just talking about the evils of sugar? oh man.. pretty soon i’m going to be lauding the benefits of regular exercise. this is not good. thank god i am at least avoiding work, presently. all hell is not entirely in the hand basket.