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You can walk up to him in Times Square put a gun to his head and pull the fucking trigger and there’s nothing they can do about it! Kinda makes you feel all warm and tingly inside don’t it?

in my vast new york city experience, times square is highly overrated. in fact, a little times square goes a long long way. at first you area all, “gee! new york, man! broadway!!” but if you spend a few days in times square, if you stay there, you’ll get sick of it fast. it’s not indicative of new york in general. and it smells. and after a couple of days, i found myself becoming violently polite, in order to illicit some manners from people. i also found myself become less polite in some situations.
case in point, the cheezy souvenir store. i had a dr. pepper in my hand, because it was a bazillion degrees with 1027% humidity… of course i have a bev. anyway, i start to walk into a cheezy souvenir store, with the tshirts that are obviously made by tiny pre-pubescent fingers, in some third-world sweatshop somewhere, and there is a man guarding the door. and as i walk through, he says, “no drink. No Drink! NO DRINK!” because i might damage the fine merchandise by ripping the lid off my soda pop and spilling it all over the racks of tshirts. and i thought, who the hell are YOU to make me choose between shopping – and surviving the summer heat? no one, that’s who. you are NO ONE of import or authority in MY life to dictate my drinking habits. so i simply said back to him, “fine, then. no purchase. No Purchase. NO PURCHASE!”
my other problem? the people who did not acknowledge you were purchasing anything from them. somehow, they maintained a sense of denial that they were helping the public, by not interacting with them at all. by friday i was getting in their faces and saying “THANK YOU!!” just to see them flinch.
but you know what i like? greenwich village. that place RULES!! in fact, i like every other single place i went in new york. well, with the exception of chinatown. chinatown can KISS MY ASS! but that’s another story for another day.

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One thought on “You can walk up to him in Times Square put a gun to his head and pull the fucking trigger and there’s nothing they can do about it! Kinda makes you feel all warm and tingly inside don’t it?

  1. arifa says:

    and this is why jodi is my hero:
    “so i simply said back to him, ‘fine, then. no purchase. No Purchase. NO PURCHASE!'”

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