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Monthly Archives: February 2004
gratuitous copy and pasting from someone else’s blog.
i read the follow on neal gaiman’s websiteand found it quite funny. i shall paste an excerpt here, but you can read the whole thing here
“I’m not terribly religious, in the computer operating system sense of the word. Many people (including my son, a full-fledged Apple person) seemed to be waiting for me to see the light and become a full-fledged Mac convert, and were shocked that once there were Macs in the house I didn’t have a Road to Damascus moment. I like them for some things, prefer PCs for other things, and, except for writing screenplays, prefer fountain pens to both of them (and for screenplays I like Final Draft, and I don’t mind which platform it’s on).
When I tell Mac people this, they smile their secret smile. They know that after we die, we go to a special place, and that those who used Macs will be raised on high, where they can sip their cappucinos and look down and see the virus-infected writhings and screamings of those who used PCs, as the damned Windows users are forever bombarded with boiling projectile vomit from the thousand-foot high screaming thing that used to be Bill Gates.
But I’m sure even the damned people down in the mud will be laughing up whatever’s left of their sleeves at those of us who secretly like fountain pens best.”
if the journal had comment features, i would have commented that a true mac user would put fans of the fountain pen above those who used windows. because they can appreciate and understand the elegance of a fountain pen. the feel of it, as it writes on the paper. the scritch scritch noise it makes. these things are important to us, as well. we like a spiritual user experience.
except, i probably would not have commented. because i’m shy. tee-hee.
Well, to be honest, I thought you were an imbecile. But then I figured out you WERE a swell guy… A little slow, maybe, but a swell guy.
that’s a self portrait of me. today. see, i’m yawning and my hair’s a mess because i’m FREAKIN’ TIRED. and i’m freakin’ tired because of that whole waking up at four am for no good reason thing. i tried to go to bed earlier last night. to compensate. 11 pm. but that wasn’t good enough. so tonight, i’ll go to bed right after angel. 10 o’clock. swear to god. i am apparently getting too old to deal with my crappy sleep habits.
speaking of sleep, i was reading the weekly last week, and it was doing a piece of books about love. a lot of them were about finding love. or landing a mate. or getting someone to marry you using techniques from the harvard school of business and how to find the man of your dreams in six weeks. [it was in the weekly that i read about that whole quirklyalone thing.] my favorite blurb about one of the books recommends, and i think this is the one that gets you prince charming in six weeks, to sleep for 10 hours a night for a week, in order to look younger and healthier than you have in a long, long time. that was the ONLY thing that article mentioned that i was willing to do. apparently, meeting your dream man takes a great deal of effort on your part. and we know how i hate effort.
and, speaking of love and marriage [eww!] , how freakin’ cool is the mayor of san francisco? incredibly freakin’ cool. you know, i’m not gay, and i don’t particular want to get married. but it pisses me off that people in this country are still trying to stop it. that’s ludicrous. i don’t know what they are protecting. or what they are afraid of, but their protestations are ridiculous, to the point of imbecilic. [how much do i love the adjective form of imbecile? very very much. so much that i think i’ve reach the pinnacle of happiness, with regards to blogging, and will now conclude this entry.]
do you ever wonder…
if my titles are quotes, or if i am really saying i have a killer rack?
Those double-crossing, sexy-sexy sluts!
most everyone i know has the day off. not me. very sad. and unfair. but, since our current president inspires so little celebratory joy in me, i guess i don’t need to buy home electronics and bed linens and towels at president’s day prices in order to honor him. phooey on him. no towels for you!
it’s a shame i don’t have the day off because it’s all stormy outside. very windy and raining. last night, my neighbors storage closet door, which is outside on the porch, was open and it kept banging against the building in the wind. right next to my bedroom. it woke me up at 4am and i never went back to sleep. you know, on the weeknights, i’m lucky if i get five hours of sleep. that cannot be good for me. but, as i was saying, it’s stormy outside and raining. it’s a perfect day to stay curled up in the Purple Chair and read. because i really don’t get the chance to do that very often. [sarcasm]
on saturday, i went to see The Triplets of Belleville with louise. it was excellent. the music was especially enjoyable. i also learned a new scottish slang word. To Sook, meaning To Suck. not sure of the spelling. anyway, louise’s cat is named muffy, but they call her sookie because she sucks on things. like socks. also, this term can be used in conjunction with candy, or “sweeties” as we like to say. for instance, a sookie sweetie would be some kind of hard candy. every day is a vocabulary adventure with louise.
after that, we walked all over capital hill, exploring things. louise has a much more compatible shopping style, with me, than evildeb. evildeb is slooooooow. half the time i end up outside the store sitting on a bench waiting for her. if i was holding her purse, i would look like her husband. louise and i are quick. so we covered a lot of ground. we stopped in the legendary toys for babeland. it was very crowded, perhaps owning to the fact it was valentines day? i do not know. toys in babeland is the best sex toy shop ever. first of all, the toys are taken out of the packaging, and placed on kiosks. so you can play with them. and you don’t have to look at the packaging. when you chose what you want, they go and get a packaged version. this is great. the lack of packaging alone cuts the sleaze factor down to almost nothing. plus, you get to play with them. test the strength of the active toys.. see how much kick a certain toy has. this is the most fun when you are with someone, and you can both make your observations and comments on the individual toys together. the store has a counter of samples of all the lubes, and all the condoms have one blown up next to the display, to show size and color and whatnot. like little banana balloons. there are no videos or dvd’s. their are books, but they are erotica and techniques. no magazines. it’s a very classy, and obviously interactive, place. you can get a waterproof rubber ducky vibrator. did you know that? looks just like the regular rubber duckies. feels like them too, it’s rubber. but it has a special little switch. dr. stevil didn’t understand why a vibrator not shaped in a phallic manner would be worth anything, be any fun. but he’s a boy, a gay one at that, so he doesn’t understand. oh and they had a swing in the middle of the room. i wish one time, when i was in, they’d have someone trying it out. not TRYING IT OUT as in nekkid and naughty, but just sitting in it, to see how it feels.
after that, comic book stores and greasy american diner food. so it was a good day, all in all.
Gosh, I don’t think that I’ve ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I’ve got practically no responsibilities, my job’s a breeze and I’ve got a KILLER rack.
so, i finally found out what i am. i’ve identified my people. i thought i was the only one. but i’m not. there are other people like me. and we call ourselves… the quirckyalones.
quirkyalone (kwur.kee.uh.lohn) n. adj.
A person who enjoys being single (but is not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple. With unique traits and an optimistic spirit; a sensibility that transcends relationship status. Also adj. Of, relating to, or embodying quirkyalones.
See also: romantic, idealist, independent.
i haven’t read the book yet. but i’ve browsed the website, taken the quiz, and read some stuff in the forum. according to the quiz i am very quirkyalone. nice! i feel so… validated. so vindicated. maybe my mom should read this book, so she’d understand me. although, i think she’s just about given up on me getting married. she is NOT a quirkyalone. nope. no. no way. coworker we refer to as The Man says its just a bunch of people making excuses for not getting laid. oh no… quite the opposite. those quirkyalones like the sex. they just don’t need to be in a committed relationship to have it. and do not think that having it means a committed relationship. some of them are quite slutty! fun. slutty is fun. wheeeee!
so anyway, yeah. i’m part of a movement. yay me!
so, earlier this month, my blog was SPAMMED big time. one spammer, every day [that had a post] for about… six months worth. i had to go post by post and delete them hand. there was no way i was going to leave their list of links for cheap viagra etc, on my journal. *claps hands and say “no!”* it filled me with such rage and hatred. i think it’s justifiable to kill spammers. i think it’s ok. and think no court of law would convict us. i would give them the puppy dog green eyes, and speak to them in my widdle voice and they would set us free. the question is, how shall we kill them. thoughts? suggestions?
You know, I just woke up and I looked in the mirror and thought, “Hey, what’s with all the sin.”
i missed an opportunity to see mtx last night. because i’m self-centered and had been slacking off in the reading of my favorite blogs. therefore, i did not see the tour information. they were here last night. all of the sudden this morning i said, to myself, “hey… i wonder what dr. frank’s up to… these days.” [not wanting to end my sentence in preposition.] can you believe that? missed it by a day. you know why? not only am i self-centered, but lately you find that my head is always in a book. always.
speaking of books, i just finished “good omens” and loved it! adored it! delighted in it! i have a feeling that this is a book that i will be pushing off on people constantly. i’ve made a deal with evildeb to read some book she is enjoying [i don’t even remember what it is] to get her to read “good omens.” i don’t know why i bother. she never likes any book i recommend. i should have learned my lesson when she failed to see the subtle humor and brilliance in isaac adamson’s “tokyo suckerpunch.” she said she didn’t like it and that it wasn’t well written. so then i had to hate her…. again. the only book i know for sure that we’ve both liked, is “wicked.”
which reminds me of louise. now, you know louise is scottish. except when she’s in new york. she has loaned me some of her audiobooks, to listen to on my commute. she was listing off the titles that she had, and she told me she had this book.. and we had the following conversation.
me: what? “midder midder?” what’s “midder midder”?
louise: you know… “MIDDER MIDDER.”
me: *scratches head in confusion*
louise: [with sarcasm i might add] oh PARDON ME, i meant MIURRR MIURRRRRR.
i’ve never had trouble understanding louise before. maybe it’s because there was no context for the word “mirror.” maybe she’s totally unintelligible and i’ve never noticed? is that true, louise? louise… say “aluminum.” …. go on, say it!
oh jodi… how evil could she possibly be. i mean really.
evildeb’s response to the news that i feel dizzy, lightheaded and shaky.
“Hmmm…you appear to be displaying a weakness. that makes me want to attack your soft underbelly.”
with friends like that, who needs man eating tigers?
Do you ever get dizzy livin’ up on that moral high ground of yours?
i’m soooo dizzy. some adjustments in my meds. don’t get excited. it’s blood pressure medication. i’m still plenty screwed up emotionally. anyway, i’m light headed, dizzy and shaky! it’s a great way to spend a monday afternoon. at work. as good as any way to spend a monday afternoon, at work, i suppose.
both evildeb and fee have ordered trial samples of The Soap.. it did not surprise me that evildeb would do this, because she likes purchasing things online, and shopping, and beauty products. but it surprised me that fee would do it. because, if she likes it, it’s very very expensive. in my mind. and fee doesn’t do expensive beauty products. she says that it’s ok, tho… because she has soap magic. i guess soap magic is the ability to make a bar of soap last forever. i think she’s been using the same clinique facial cleanser bar since junior high? maybe? that’s cool, i suppose, but if i got to pick my magic, i’m not sure soap magic would be the one i’d pick…. i’d pick telekinesis.
i’m looking forward to their reviews of The Soap.