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I am a train-wreck.

Last night, i was hauling some stuff out of the back seat of my car, my arms were full and I used my left elbow to slam the car door shut. Only I did not back and away from the car before I did this, so I bruised some very tender places on my left side. This morning, I was reaching under my desk for my blue sneaker, and I whacked my head on the corner of the desk. Got a bump on my head. When I got to work, I took my leftover PIF Chang’s to central services to put in the fridge. Only I put it in the microwave and walked away. I figured that out before I got back to my desk. What I didn’t notice, until recently was that I leaked mongolian beef sauce all down my left pant leg. I smell like chinese food. And then, just now, walking with my sneaker untied, I tripped and whacked my hand into the corner of the window sill. Right on the top of the hand, you know… so it hurts more than it really should.
And really today, and last night, are not all that different from any other day.
For those of you who expressed interest in becoming a minion in Satan’s bookclub, Satan is well pleased with you… look for more information to come. Louise and I did some brainstorming at dinner last night. i’ll probably be working on it on my sabbatical. [which in fifteen days! Hooray!] I’ll be back later to discuss the Susanna Clarke reading and signing.

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Flash, Flash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!

Well, as it turns out, the problem with my camera, and the picture of Louise and Clive Barker, was that I had it, the camera, on video mode. So we are left with a low quality, wee little movie of them posing, and then the camera pointing to the floor while Clive Barker tells me the flash did not go off. And Louise could not be happier to relieve the moment over and over. I am just sad that we can’t get a decent still frame, but oh well. The original movie, off the camera, used to have my voice saying a word that is similar to “didinit?” [a tiny throw back to that Oklahoma accent I was referring to] But for some reason that was cut off when I exported out of iMovie. And believe it or not, I’m sad, because I know how much Fee likes to make fun of my voice. I don’t have time to figure it out, however.
So there you go. Louise and I watched it a few times and reminisced how utterly delightful and charming he was.
There was a display of banned books at the bookstore the other night, and Louise asked me who exactly bans these books. I said, “ummm… THEY do. You know.. them.” But we’ve been emailing back and forth a bit about it, I sent her this link to a Denver Post article I found on Bookslut. She pointed out the following quoted letter from the article:
“‘Whale Talk’ is a vile, un-Godly, profane novel,” she said in The Detroit News. “My heart cries for the children who have read this book because … what we have subjected ourselves to stays within us and Satan can use that to our detriment …”
Louise: I’m surprised Satan hasn’t made more use of all the crap I read. I would expect to see more detrimental effects if he had been.
Me: I’m surprised Satan hasn’t asked me to join his book club!
Louise: That would be fun. You should start a Satan’s Bookclub weblog to log all your books.
Me: Yes, and we could rate things on just how very godless they are.
So look for Satan’s Bookclub, coming soon. In which we plan to determine just how damaging certain books have been to our everlasting souls. Or maybe we’ll just read naughty books, I don’t know. I haven’t worked out the details.

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Kiss my ass, American popular culture.

Yesterday, I was driving home from work, and I got sick of my music. I’m currently between audio book selections, I’m waiting for some things to come in at the library. So I turned on the radio. I have not listened to the radio in months. It’s all part of my new plan to add excitement to my life by not using my clock radio anymore. That is life on the edge. And I’ve been doing the audio book thing in the car… so no real radio. First, I heard a commercial about a reality tv show in which wives/mothers swap households. The next episode features a woman who drives a school bus and chops wood for six hours a day swapping with a rich wife who’s never worked a day in her life. Next, a local talk show advertised a segment “How dental floss can keep you organized.” And finally I learned that Tony Danza now has his own daytime talk show. So I pulled over to the side of the road. And I cried.

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books

This is blasphemous literature! I’d rather Jessica be illiterate than to have her reading about defiant, perverse, Godless souls!

I’m so behind… behind on reading my favorite blogs, and definitely behind on posting. And my “currently reading” section is wrong. And I still have not rebuilt the “what i’ve already read” page. Things are a bit busy here, at work and at the casita di hodi. I’m “packing” for the move. And by “packing” I mean, picking things up and setting them down 6 inches from their original spot, realizing the it’s just entirely TOO overwhelming and I’d better take a nap. At work, I had to finish my two Big Reports. Two, because we’ve decided to give other evil duties to EvilDeb. And I will have to turn around and start working on them again in a week and a half, in order to get them done early. Before my sabbatical. Which is in… . EIGHTEEN DAYS!! Holy Cow! That is so great. Really great. Can’t wait. But the next 18 days, with the packing and the moving and the big reporting are going to be busy. Forgive me in advance. I’m sure you’ll hear more than enough from me once my sabbatical starts.
There are 4, and only 4, approved social outings over the next few weeks. And two of them have already taken place. Louise and I have been spending a lot of time in books stores, recently. Oops… well, see, there you go. Even now, I have to stop writing in order to go to a meeting. And by stop, I mean, type with great discretion during the boring parts. NO!! that’s not true. I wouldn’t do that. So… um, anyway. We’ve been hanging out in bookstores, as is our wont. Last week we went to two book signings/readings. Last Wednesday, we saw Jonathan Stroud, author of The Bartimaeus Trilogy. The second book of the trilogy, The Golem’s Eye, just came out. I was not familiar with these books, but Louise was, and she was very excited to see that he was visiting. So I put the first book, The Amulet of Samakarand, on hold at the library. [I hope I spelled Samakarand right.] These are children’s fantasy books, about magicians. Consequently, the audience was half full [or half empty, depending on how you think of it] of children in the grades 4 to 6 range. Very enthusiastic children. It’s then that we learned of yet another occupation for which Louise is not ideally suited. Author of Children’s Books. For she would have to interact with children at some point. And that really would never do. Jonathan Stroud, however, is a very patient and charming man, who did quite well with all those kids. He’s british, did I mention that? He drew on a poster size pad of paper a great deal, as he went, explaining things, which was fun. And kids were asking questions of the “remember that one time, in that part with the monster and he had his claws out and she screamed because she was scared of demons? yeah… that part was SCARY!!” ilk. And he very patiently, and encouragingly, would respond with answers of the “Was it? Oh good, because that’s exactly what I wanted it to be. Scary!” ilk. I kinda liked the kids, I thought they were cute. Because I used to be one of them. I mean, we were all kids, but I was that bookish kid. Complete with glasses. There was one exception. That was the curly headed kid who’s determination to be in the front row was strong indeed. Unfortunately, he was not seated in the front row… Louise and I were. But he just kept scooching up and scooching up, until he was sitting right at Louise’s elbow. And she has adverse reactions to the proximity of children, you know. And he kept turning to explain things, about the books, to his mom/ guardian/ court appointed keeper in a very loud and inconsiderate voice. I blame her, the keeper, more than him, because she should have informed him that was rude and shut up right quick before the mean scottish lady goes postal and rips his curly head off his neck. She could have done it, too. She’d just had coffee. Louise has this great face, it’s her “Perfectly Pleasant I Am So Annoyed” face. If you didn’t know her, you’d think “my what a perfectly pleasant young lady, although she looks to be in a bit of pain. still, what a lovely, pleasant, pained expression.” If you know her, you know it’s her “I”ll Perfectly Pleasant your ASS, you annoying [insert type of annoying person here. child. brat, etc.]” face. As long as you stayed outside of arm’s reach, you’d probably be ok. Unless she squints her eyes. Then you’d better run. All in all, I’m looking forward to reading the book.
So that was the first of the four approved social outings. The second was last saturday night. Again, in a bookstore, Louise and I went to hear Clive Barker speak. His second book of Abarat just came out. And oh what a delightful, charming, funny, talented, british man. Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, he’s gay as well. [which we knew]. But is there anything more irresistible to a girl than a charming, funny, talented, british gay man? Oh, maybe a charming, funny, talented, british gay man dipped in chocolate. Perhaps. But add to it special unique Clive Barker traits, and it’s no wonder Louise and I were so happy. Exhibit A: he spoke of what a homebody he is, how he only leaves the house twice a week. First, to buy dvd’s. But wait… it gets better. Second, to buy COMICS!! Be still our hearts. Louise indulged her inner fanboy and spoke to him directly. He told her that she had a lovely accent, told her she should never lose it. She’s still blushing today. When she asked him where his scouse* accent had gone, he said, with a souse accent, “it fucking well comes out when I go home, or drink too much.” An animated discussion of delightful accents ensued, and I was so sad I had no delightful accent to share. When I get drunk, my accent goes all Oklahoma on me. Just absolutely nothing delightful about that. I had nothing to contribute. But he still shook my hand and thanked me for coming. Louise and I have declared it “One of our better Author Appearances” to date, and will always make a point of seeing Clive whenever he’s in town. Louise and her delightful accent. Bitch. Oh, I have a picture of Louise and her true love, Clive, I’m having a bit of problem with my camera. Look for picture soon.
Ok, that’s it for now. My third approved non-packing social outing is this Wednesday, when Louise and I will go to an author signing/ reading with Susanna Clarke, author of “Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell..” And then we will eat at PF Chang’s. I am looking forward to this a great deal, and I have my copy [the black cover] all ready for a’signin’. Oh, hey, look… another British author. I sense a theme. Oh well, Christopher Moore is coming to Seattle soon, and he’s American! Boy Howdy. I think. He is, isn’t he? Oh god, he’s probably secretly Canadian or something.
*A scouse accent would be heard coming from the mouths of those who reside in Liverpool.

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Something that made me laugh on Wonkette

Kerry Team: They Wish They Were That Sinister
By wonkette for Wonkette
So Scott McClellan thinks that the Kerry team forged the Bush National Guard documents. As if! Those poor slobs are still wasting time “doing research;” we don’t think they’ve figured out that you can just make shit up. The Bush team, on the other hand, made shit up our way into war. Some artfully just-enough-fake documents? Cake. And it’s not like they haven’t done that before, either. . .

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look jodi… a butterfly!*

I am so busy right now. Both at work and at home. I am a level of busy that I am not at all comfortable with, lover of sloth that I am. The worst part is, re: the home busy, I should be working my tail off, but I am reading instead. So… what’s it called when you are super busy, but ignoring it in favor of books? Besides procrastination? or denial. Now, at work, I was plugging a long, working hard until Dr. Stevil had to send me some Sims2 links!! It’s been released for the pc. And even though the Mac version has only been unofficially announced, those links were all it took to send me off on a wild goose chase for screen shots and quicktime movies. The Sims are the ultimate shiny object to me. In a way, I’m glad the mac version is not out. For the next 29 days, I will be all kinds of swamped. It will require hard work. *shudder* And then I will be fantastically NOT busy for three weeks while I am on sabbatical. Then we go back to busy at work, and with NaNoWrimo. [It would be disastrous for the Sims2 to be released right before NaNoWriMo. ] But after the new year, I’ll only be busy at work. So…
EA, Maxis and most likely Aspyr,
You are free to start production on the Sims2 for Mac OS X. I think a nice early spring 05 release would suit me best. And please don’t make me have to buy a G5 just to play it. I’m on a budget. If you could keep it on an 800 GHz level, that would be great. If not, I could always play on squishy, but she has less ram than my home machine. So thanks for everything, and remember, early Spring 05.
Thank you in advance,
Jodi
*when I was a little tiny kid, my family would say “Look Jodi! A butterfly!” and when I turned my head to look, they’d snatch food off my plate. Isn’t that horrible? Taking advantage of a preschooler aged child like that?

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Happy 500th Post!!

Wow, isn’t that a milestone. 500 posts. To celebrate, my mt-bookqueue plug-in stopped working completely. I have no idea what changed, unless it was on Amazon.com’s web services side. I tried and tried to figure it out. I spent hours. Literally. I did. Hours. It drove me nuts. I was like a bulldog with a bone… or some other kind of tenacious animal with a really strong jaw and a lot of determination. Then I updated MovableType to the new 3.1 version. Yay! Fun. Looks great, but didn’t change my plug-in issues. I scoured the web, looking for another plug-in that would work with mt-amazon, and I could not find anything. Finally I decided, screw it, you know what? I’m going to rebuild my book page by hand. I won’t use any dumb plug-ins so I won’t have to worry about their dumb XML parsing errors. With the html tag shortcuts I can add to Ecto, it’s a snap. The only thing is, it’s going to take forever to rebuild that “what I’ve already read page.” 4.ev.R.
All I have to say is THANK YOU ECTO!! Because without that program, this rebuild would really suck ass.
So now I’ll get back to reading

Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke
Look at that… done by hand! Lovely!
PS: I don’t know why, but right now I have to approve all comments before they publish. I thought I turned it off, but it still seems to be working that way. Sorry. I’ll try to figure that out. Later.

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