We join the monkee as he attempts to sell someone the latest version of my software.
“And the latest version of [jodi’s software]? Holy Christmas!”
Amelia: Holy Christmas? What does that mean?
Jodi: I don’t know, I guess he means it’s really really great.
Amelia: so great he cannot come up with a logical exclamation?
Jodi: I don’t like him talking about my software.
Amelia: Wait, don’t you want him to sell it?
Jodi: Yeah… it’s just…. it’s non-denominational product! Separation of church and software!
Amelia: Ahhh….
Jodi: Don’t push your Christian holidays on my software, it was made by people of many faiths.
Amelia: Holy politically correct Winter Festival that adheres no no one specific religious belief!
Jodi: batman.
Holy Christmas is now the interjection of choice among members of my department.
i can see how that would be annoying. so when does the countdown begin for when the monkee is moved?
they say it’s some time in july.
Isn’t it somewhat redundant? I wholeheartedly vote for use of a nice, hearty four letter expletive.
i’m thinking he needs to write some witty expressions down on stickies so he’s not caught having to improvise again.
Some examples of superlatives you could post on his cube wall for him to use.
Great Caesar’s Ghost
Holey Toledo*
Holey Mackerel*
Da’ Bomb**
Groovy
Un-friggin-believable
Better than a horny dog when your leg is cold
It’s uber adequate
(* I use “Holey” because I believe that when you’re describing something so wonderful, you mean that it punches holes in objects and cities. The holes could also be from the violent sloughing off of shoes as people’s socks are knocked off.)
(** If you’re marketing to an urban community. One hopelessly enamoured with caucasian jackasses trying to be black [See also Eminem.] I would mark that he should use this often when on his cellphone in airports, ensuring he says it in a near yell to attract as many security guards’ attention.)
But you must also be careful about who hears “Holy Christmas” come from your cool mouths (mouthes? mouthi?) because if he hears it, he’ll think he too is cool, then you’ll never get that monkee off your back! (You knew where I was going on that one, didn’t you?)
I think “da bomb,” “groovy,” “un-friggen-believalbe,” are fitting. “uber adequate” is not quite it because my product is not just “uber aedquate” it’s ubersupercalisexyfragilicious!