Amelia, the fireplace and procrastination

Amelia: What is that you are watching there on your high falutin’ picture box.

Jodi: It’s my fireplace dvd. It’s good background for when I am writing.

Amelia: What, you don’t have a real fireplace.

Jodi: We can’t afford one. So I turn on the dvd and light a candle for an aromatic touch.

Amelia: Which is why your fire smells like coconut chocolate mousse?

Jodi: Yes. Earlier it smelled of mangos and tangerines.

Amelia: Refreshing! You realize you are only talking to me to waste time, right?

Jodi: Yes. I’m stuck. I’m blocked. I don’t know what to do next. The body has been discovered, the police have been called. All the stuff I came up with last year when I planned this story has been written.

Amelia: You just do it. You just write.

Jodi: Easy for you to say, but write what?

Amelia: My god, girl, quit your crying, get on that plane and fly it already. Oh, and name a character after me.

Jodi: Consider it done.

Just because she’s been quiet, doesn’t mean she’s gone.

Of course she’s been quiet so long, a great portion of people who read my blog now probably don’t realize I talk to a poster of Amelia Earhart.

Amelia, photo

Amelia’s new clothes

You might be wondering where exactly Amelia has been lately. Why she’s been so quiet. For a long time I have wanted to get her framed. She’s been through a lot and has a lot of wear and tear. I wanted to get her in a frame before anymore damage occurred. She is, technically, a collector’s item.

Last December, before Christmas, I took her into Michael’s, along with the Jim Henson/ Kermit Think Different poster and two NaNoWriMo posters, to be framed. They were having a 50% off sale, and I wanted something nice. And oh man were they helpful. We probably spent about an hour and half, choosing matting and frames. The NaNo posters were especially difficult, colorwise. It took 3 frame dept people to figure it out, with much debate. Finally, we had everything spec’d out and he started to write up the estimate. That is something he maybe should have done after the first poster, I could have saved us all a lot of time. The Think Different posters are 24 x 36, the NaNo posters 18 x 24, and really, that is quite large for a custom frame job. Each poster had a relatively inexpensive frame, but three levels of matting. It was so nice.It really made a difference.

When he added up the total for just Amelia, I almost passed out. I was expecting it to be less than that at 100%. At 50% it was ridunculously expensive. Let me put it this way, I could have framed all prints as planned, or I could have bought my husband a black MacBook with an extra gig of ram for Christmas with that kind of money. If I had that kind of money lying about. Which I did not.

I decided to go ahead and have Amelia framed. We tried reducing the cost by removing some of the matting, but it just looked so much better the way we planned it out. It hurt me to pay that much, believe me. It was extortion. I don’t even have Jim and Kermit on the wall because I couldn’t bare to have them look all naked and plain next to Amelia.

The picture does not do it justice. She really does look fabulous.


Amelia: Hey.. look at me!

Me: You look good.

Amelia: I look FANTASTIC. My posture has never been better. Can you hear me from behind the glass?

Me: Loud and clear.

Amelia: Sweet. Do you think you can wipe off that fingerprint in the lower right corner? I don’t want to look smudgy.

Me: I’m on it.

Amelia, Canada, William

Amelia makes new friends.

Canadians love facebook. I think I read somewhere that it’s more popular here than in the states, but I might be making that up. I swear I read it. I think that facebook is ten times more pleasant than myspace. It doesn’t hurt my eyes the way myspace does. I don’t have many facebook friends. If you have a facebook page and want to be my friend, leave me a comment and I will email you the url to my page and we can be BFF!! Wil has 197 thousand or something. I have 11. And half of them are people that I met through Wil, so we share them. He’s reconnected with lots of old high school friends and is having a blast with the facebook. Found a picture of himself with his first girlfriend, when he was 17, that is ADORABLE. To me, at least. He changes his profile picture on a regular basis. This one is my favorite, for obvious reasons.


Me: Amelia, are you making time with my bf?

Amelia: Girl, we were just hanging out… no worries.

Me: ‘kay

Amelia: Girl, your house is a mess!

Me: Don’t call me “girl”

Amelia: almost as bad as your cube used to be.

Me: I know, ok. I’ve been busy.

Amelia: Busy? Is that what they call “sitting around watching home decorating shows on tv” these days?

Me: Maybe

Amelia: You’re a lousy housewife.

Me: Oh yeah? Well you’re…. TWO DIMENSIONAL!

Amelia: Ouch! That was hurtful.

Me: Sorry.

Amelia: Nobody likes to be told they are flat, Jodi.


Amelia Has a Good Stretch

Amelia: I’m baaaack. My neck is stiff.

Me: You’ve been rolled up for a few months.

Amelia: Where is this?

Me: Canada.

Amelia: Girl, what are you doing down there?

Me: This is my life now. I’m scrubbing chili off the front of the oven.

Amelia: How did you get chili on the front of the oven?

Me: I don’t know. It was there when I got back from the states. The rumor is the kittens did it.

Amelia: The kittens eat chili?

Me: Well, I did find an empty chili can under the kitchen sink, next to the cat food.


Amelia and her New Adventure

Amelia: Hey, what happened.. .it’s dark. I can’t see.

Me: it’s ok.

Amelia: I feel funny.

Me: It’s ok… you are rolled up.

Amelia: Rolled up?

Me: Yeah, we’re leaving. We’re taking off.

Amelia: We are? Are we going to go exploring?

Me: Yeah

Amelia: Sweet! You know I’m a bit of an adventurer, don’t you?

Me: I’ve heard that about you.

Amelia: So where are we off to now?

Me: How do you feel about… Canada?

Amelia: Beauty, eh!

Me: Precisely.

Goodbye, P.O.E. I will miss you. You are the best company I’ve ever worked for in my life, truly world class. You’ve been very good to me. And I hope that I, at least the majority of the time, have been good to you.


Amelia and the Ants

The ants were very very busy over the holiday weekend. They’ve completely buried the test tube, except for the opening. They seem to be hanging out in it. We think it might be their break room or lounge.


Click for larger image.


Amelia and the Cubeplex

Amelia: Hey… hey… HEY!

Jodi: What?

Amelia: What’s going on here?

Jodi: We are moving stuff around… I’m going to turn this desk over this way and turn..

Amelia: That’s not all you are doing.

Jodi: Oh, yeah, I cleaned.

Amelia: Your cube is clean.

Jodi: I know… it’s unnerving. I hope no one in my family sees it, or they will expect the same thing in my house.

Amelia: Well, I’m totally shocked. How long do you think it will last?

Jodi: Not long, probably.

Amelia: You have a new neighbor.

Jodi: Yes, KK and Paco switched places. This is a girls corner now. It’s our cubeplex.

Amelia: Girl power!

Jodi: You said it, Flighty Spice. We are going to decorate. We are planning to buy a nice little throw rug.

Amelia: Oh! It will be pink won’t it? Please say it will be pink!

Jodi: Oh, it will be pink. Trust me.

Amelia: I like it!

It’s true, my cube is all clean, you can see the top of my desk, and I’ve thrown a lot of stuff away. Or put it on a shelf. It’s weird.


Amelia’s Opinion of My Housekeeping

Me: I’m going to clean my cube today.

Amelia: I’ve heard that one before.

Me: Shut up.

Amelia: About twice a month, since you put me up.

Me: Well… I’m easily distracted!

Amelia: By shiny objects… dull objects… dust motes…. sun beams… oxygen molecules. When aren’t you distracted?

Me: uuhhhhh…..

So… who do you think will win this contest? Me? or Amelia?

In an unrelated note, I had my blond updated. I’m now blonder but with temporarily straight hair. She always straightens it for me, and I make it last as long as I can. It feels so much longer like this. I keep flicking it back behind my shoulder. Either with my hand, or with a head flick. I feel like Cher. When it’s curly, I’m more apt to compulsively shove it behind my ears. Also, when it’s been straightened, I pet my own head a lot. It’s just so smooth and soft!!


Amelia has missed you, too.

Jodi: Do you hear that?

Amelia: Hear what?

Jodi: that voice… listen…

Amelia: Hmmmm…. I do… I do hear it! It’s like a voice from our past.

Jodi: He has an office now, his door is closed… why is he screaming? Why does god do this to me?

Amelia: Hee!

Jodi: You’ve been quiet lately. Readers have inquired about your up-to-ness.

Amelia: My what?

Jodi: They want to know what you are up to.

Amelia: Well… ever since you turned your back on me…

Jodi: I did not turn my back on you! I simply angled my monitor, slightly, away from you.

Amelia: Whatever… the point is, since you’ve angled away, I’ve been able to read your monitor. So I pass the time by reading your chats.

Jodi: You do not!

Amelia: I do too! ALL of your chats!

Jodi: all of them?

Amelia: AAAAAAAAAALL of them. Your emails too.

Jodi: gulp.

Amelia: Girlfriend, we’ve got to talk!

Amelia, evildeb, work

Amelia learns our private shame.

Amelia: What is wrong with The New Kid?

Me: Paco? He’s drunk.

Amelia: I thought you all were in a meeting… how did he get drunk?

Me: It was a Happy Birthday to Those with Birthdays in Oct. and Nov. Meeting.

Amelia: Like you.

Me: Yes, and Tessa, Dr. Stevil, others. But it was a Cake and Margarita party.

Amelia: Cake and Margaritas, do they go well together?

Me: Not really, but everyone seemed to like it. I had a diet pepsi. Our boy Paco here is a light weight.

Amelia: He’s damn near hysterical, I fail to see what’s so amusing.

Me: He just told me I was cool, like Evildeb. We were equal levels of cool, but it’s a HIGH level of cool.

Amelia: Shows you what he knows.

I have decreed a new decree… from now on, we get Paco drunk at least once a week. Preferably on a Friday afternoon, as it’s a perfect excuse to quit working, for he is just delightful in his mirth. He simultaneously celebrated Evildeb’s coolness factor and her retardedness quotient. And pronounced her GREAT. I warned him I was going to blog him, I told him… but he was too busy explaining to spyware on his computer how he was going to combat it. And a trip of the men’s bathroom recovered the following fact: it smells pooey. Delightful!