I cannot connect to the internet at home right now. Not reliably. The only computer the works is my laptop, which I happened to bring home with me. But, this is unacceptable. I’ve spent hours on this thing. HOURS. It has something to do with the DSL modem and the router. Or maybe just the modem. And the computers. But not the laptop. There is no logic. God help me, I might have to call tech support. I don’t even know which thing I need tech support for, at this point. Considering what I do, and the operating system I chose to use, I am the last voice you want to hear on the receiving end of a tech support call. Especially considering how completely INSANE I’ve become by now. Let us just imagine together…

Tech Support Agent: Thank you for calling ..

Me interrupting: Yeah… do you have a mac?

TSA: I’m sorry?

Me: Do. You. Have. A. Mac? on your desk? running OS X 10.4?

TSA: No, I don’t, but…

Me interrupting: When does your mac guy work? I know you have one… at least… he probably only works for 15 minutes on Tuesdays and every other Thursday, right?

TSA: Uh.. well…

Me: Look, can I talk to a level 2?

TSA: Sure, but maybe I can help you.

Me: Sigh, alright, sport, give it a try.

TSA: Ok… [deep breath]… what version of Windows are your running?

Me: LEVEL TWO LEVEL TWO LEVEL TWO LEVEL TWO!!!

TSA: Please hold while I transfer you.

You’d think I’d be more sympathetic or something. God knows I would never put up with me if I had to tech support me.