I don't know why. I have no reason to be. Except that I have four cases and I can't solve any of them, let alone recreate them. Bums me out, makes me feel stupid.
I tried to write a post about buying jeans last night, but it didn't work out. So I am going to make another attempt later, on the ferry. Right now, I am just trying to come to terms with the fact that the "day" has at least 3 hours and 30 minutes left in it.
I'm using this song to get thru it… best when played loud naturally.
The Killers – All These Things I've Done

Yesterday was a pretty good day. As a birthday present, my cousin Kirsten was given a gift certificate to the nekkid lady spa, by her husband. When we discussed this idea, I told him that I was concerned that Kirsten would be frightened, and disoriented, surrounded by all those naked ladies, at the spa for only the 2nd time in her life, all alone. And, if need be, I would sacrifice some of my time, and money, to accompany her. And so I did. Which is why I have babysoft skin right now. And toes that are painted “Double Decker Red.” I’m a giver.

The woman who did my scrub and moisturizing treatment was different than the other woman who have scrubbed and moisturized me. She had a different routine. Not better, just different. She seemed to go after my neck and décolletage area while I was lying on my side, bottom leg out stretched, top leg bent at the knee. Which means she’d lift my chin for me. Lying on my side like I was, I felt a bit like my cat, when I scratch her under her chin. I wondered if it would be appropriate to purr. I decided not. She was very vigorous with her scrubbing, and at times I wondered if the table legs, which were wooden, wouldn’t just snap and I would tumble naked to the wet, tiled floor, and wouldn’t that be hysterical because they’d probably feel really bad and give me some free treatments to make up for it. Probably massages – in case I was hurt.

For some reason I can’t fathom, I was very uncomfortable when she was working on my face. She did all these extra massagey, finger tappy things that none of the previous scrub technicians had performed. Every time she got near my eyes, it was all I could do not to flinch. When she started piling on the cold cucumber compress, I felt a bit panicky. Like I wasn’t going to be able to breath.[It reminded me of the time my Moür Moür wanted to make a plaster mask of my face. She wanted to put two straws in my nose, so I could breath, and then make a cast of the rest of my face. I wouldn’t let her, the idea just filled me with panic. She was annoyed with me, but annoyance has never swayed me once I have made up my mind.] And I was tempted to get up, and run out of the scrub area screaming “stay away from my eyes!!!” Don’t worry, I held it together. But she made me nervous somehow, I can’t describe it. It’s not like the cover your entire face with the stuff. And It’s not like I have not had it done before.

So it wasn’t my best trip to the nekkid lady spa. But, like sex and pizza, it’s pretty darn hard to have a bad one…. it’s still a trip to the spa, right?

I know that I appear to be a gal who has everything under control, who has a firm grasp on the situation. Who is on the ball. Who owns the fucking ball. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “Jodi, yes… this is exactly what you seem to be, although I doubt I would refer to you as a ‘gal’ because that is somehow demeaning and does not coincide with someone of your composure.”

Sadly, it’s untrue. Even I have cracks in my facade.

I have things in my life now that I have not had in a very long time. And that makes me happy. But, I haven’t had them in a really long time for a reason. So it also scares me. And brings me annoying moments of self doubt. During these moments, I play my least productive game. It’s the game where I look at some random stranger, and deduce in a matter of moments, how much better she is at everything. Better than me. God I hate it when I play this game.

Take the girl who is parked next to me on the ferry right now. [The ferry that does not have electrical outlets, btw. In case you were wondering. ] Something tells me that she does not wait until the end of the day to make up her face, in the visor mirror, in the dark. She doesn’t go about her work day looking tired and shiny. Her little red Honda is spotless, and I bet her house is as well. I bet she doesn’t have dishes piled up. And I am sure she would clean the littler box before leaving for the weekend, instead of considering out of sight cat poop out of mind cat poop. I bet she is not going through a period of professional crisis, which continues to build upon itself until she doubts she’ll ever be able to do her job well again. Her cube is probably clean, everyone likes her and thinks she’s amazing. She’s probably employee of the month right now.

I see no split ends in her hair in her perfectly coifed hair, which probably never dares to snarl and rat. And that cell phone that is attached to her ear most likely holds an extensive list of friends who clamor for her time each and every weekend. When she flosses her teeth, which she does each and every evening before bed, she probably never rinses with dr pepper. Speaking of rinsing, I bet she’s never had to change into her yoga pants, and wash the only pair of pants she has with her in the sink of the washroom at the ferry terminal, because she’s spilled some incredibly unhealthy food on them and stained them. And now they sit, damp, spread out, in the back seat to dry. She probably never eats unhealthy food.

On the other hand…. when she left her car, she put on The Club. The anti-theft device that attaches to your steering wheel. While her car is parked, surrounded by dozens of cars. On a ferry. In the middle of the ocean. With no possible escape for would be thieves.

At least I’m not a moron. And so, in the end, I win the game. Ha!

Wil used my video camera to document our weekend. He put a little movie up on his blog, if you want to see it.

No, there is nothing dirty on it! Shame on you!

“The Sims 2: Open for Business (Mac)” (Aspyr Media)

Wheeeee!!!

I’ve pimped Ze Frank’s The Show before… but I’m pimping it again today because today’s show was so very very good. And important. Completely different from the norm, it should not be missed. Not that the normal shows should be missed either. I’m just saying… you know… that this one should really not be missed even more than normal. Because…

You should be watching it every day anyway!!!

This is a short distance dedication for KK… not because of any "special" aspects to our relationship, but rather just to make her laugh.

But Mr. Moon said that autumn leaves were too cliché, so I went with just an overall autumnal color scheme.

Refresh!