most everyone i know has the day off. not me. very sad. and unfair. but, since our current president inspires so little celebratory joy in me, i guess i don’t need to buy home electronics and bed linens and towels at president’s day prices in order to honor him. phooey on him. no towels for you!
it’s a shame i don’t have the day off because it’s all stormy outside. very windy and raining. last night, my neighbors storage closet door, which is outside on the porch, was open and it kept banging against the building in the wind. right next to my bedroom. it woke me up at 4am and i never went back to sleep. you know, on the weeknights, i’m lucky if i get five hours of sleep. that cannot be good for me. but, as i was saying, it’s stormy outside and raining. it’s a perfect day to stay curled up in the Purple Chair and read. because i really don’t get the chance to do that very often. [sarcasm]
on saturday, i went to see The Triplets of Belleville with louise. it was excellent. the music was especially enjoyable. i also learned a new scottish slang word. To Sook, meaning To Suck. not sure of the spelling. anyway, louise’s cat is named muffy, but they call her sookie because she sucks on things. like socks. also, this term can be used in conjunction with candy, or “sweeties” as we like to say. for instance, a sookie sweetie would be some kind of hard candy. every day is a vocabulary adventure with louise.
after that, we walked all over capital hill, exploring things. louise has a much more compatible shopping style, with me, than evildeb. evildeb is slooooooow. half the time i end up outside the store sitting on a bench waiting for her. if i was holding her purse, i would look like her husband. louise and i are quick. so we covered a lot of ground. we stopped in the legendary toys for babeland. it was very crowded, perhaps owning to the fact it was valentines day? i do not know. toys in babeland is the best sex toy shop ever. first of all, the toys are taken out of the packaging, and placed on kiosks. so you can play with them. and you don’t have to look at the packaging. when you chose what you want, they go and get a packaged version. this is great. the lack of packaging alone cuts the sleaze factor down to almost nothing. plus, you get to play with them. test the strength of the active toys.. see how much kick a certain toy has. this is the most fun when you are with someone, and you can both make your observations and comments on the individual toys together. the store has a counter of samples of all the lubes, and all the condoms have one blown up next to the display, to show size and color and whatnot. like little banana balloons. there are no videos or dvd’s. their are books, but they are erotica and techniques. no magazines. it’s a very classy, and obviously interactive, place. you can get a waterproof rubber ducky vibrator. did you know that? looks just like the regular rubber duckies. feels like them too, it’s rubber. but it has a special little switch. dr. stevil didn’t understand why a vibrator not shaped in a phallic manner would be worth anything, be any fun. but he’s a boy, a gay one at that, so he doesn’t understand. oh and they had a swing in the middle of the room. i wish one time, when i was in, they’d have someone trying it out. not TRYING IT OUT as in nekkid and naughty, but just sitting in it, to see how it feels.
after that, comic book stores and greasy american diner food. so it was a good day, all in all.
Category Archives: evildeb
You know, I just woke up and I looked in the mirror and thought, “Hey, what’s with all the sin.”
i missed an opportunity to see mtx last night. because i’m self-centered and had been slacking off in the reading of my favorite blogs. therefore, i did not see the tour information. they were here last night. all of the sudden this morning i said, to myself, “hey… i wonder what dr. frank’s up to… these days.” [not wanting to end my sentence in preposition.] can you believe that? missed it by a day. you know why? not only am i self-centered, but lately you find that my head is always in a book. always.
speaking of books, i just finished “good omens” and loved it! adored it! delighted in it! i have a feeling that this is a book that i will be pushing off on people constantly. i’ve made a deal with evildeb to read some book she is enjoying [i don’t even remember what it is] to get her to read “good omens.” i don’t know why i bother. she never likes any book i recommend. i should have learned my lesson when she failed to see the subtle humor and brilliance in isaac adamson’s “tokyo suckerpunch.” she said she didn’t like it and that it wasn’t well written. so then i had to hate her…. again. the only book i know for sure that we’ve both liked, is “wicked.”
which reminds me of louise. now, you know louise is scottish. except when she’s in new york. she has loaned me some of her audiobooks, to listen to on my commute. she was listing off the titles that she had, and she told me she had this book.. and we had the following conversation.
me: what? “midder midder?” what’s “midder midder”?
louise: you know… “MIDDER MIDDER.”
me: *scratches head in confusion*
louise: [with sarcasm i might add] oh PARDON ME, i meant MIURRR MIURRRRRR.
i’ve never had trouble understanding louise before. maybe it’s because there was no context for the word “mirror.” maybe she’s totally unintelligible and i’ve never noticed? is that true, louise? louise… say “aluminum.” …. go on, say it!
oh jodi… how evil could she possibly be. i mean really.
evildeb’s response to the news that i feel dizzy, lightheaded and shaky.
“Hmmm…you appear to be displaying a weakness. that makes me want to attack your soft underbelly.”
with friends like that, who needs man eating tigers?
Do you ever get dizzy livin’ up on that moral high ground of yours?
i’m soooo dizzy. some adjustments in my meds. don’t get excited. it’s blood pressure medication. i’m still plenty screwed up emotionally. anyway, i’m light headed, dizzy and shaky! it’s a great way to spend a monday afternoon. at work. as good as any way to spend a monday afternoon, at work, i suppose.
both evildeb and fee have ordered trial samples of The Soap.. it did not surprise me that evildeb would do this, because she likes purchasing things online, and shopping, and beauty products. but it surprised me that fee would do it. because, if she likes it, it’s very very expensive. in my mind. and fee doesn’t do expensive beauty products. she says that it’s ok, tho… because she has soap magic. i guess soap magic is the ability to make a bar of soap last forever. i think she’s been using the same clinique facial cleanser bar since junior high? maybe? that’s cool, i suppose, but if i got to pick my magic, i’m not sure soap magic would be the one i’d pick…. i’d pick telekinesis.
i’m looking forward to their reviews of The Soap.
Like Alice, I try to believe three impossible things before breakfast.
evildeb is drinking creme bruille flavored coffee. it makes the whole pod smell like waffles with maple syrup. technically, i could go upstairs and get a waffle with maple syrup. as it’s waffle friday. but i already ate.
mmmmm….. waffles.
I understand, I’m not your type, too many tattoos. Thing is, there isn’t much to do in prison except desecrate your flesh.
today, in a meeting, during a particularly confusing conference call, evildeb was sketching out tattoos. i asked her to design one for me a long time ago… a bunny. after the B died. she sketched out a cat and a bunny. she said they need work. but i think they are really striking the way they are. i especially like the cat.
continuing adventures of evildeb
yesterday we had little xmas party, here at work. i was standing with evildeb, admiring the hors díouevres when the coworker who refers to himself as The Man walked up to ask us why were werenít eating the sauteed oysters. i wasnít eating them because they are nasty. but what about evildeb?
e.d.: they have stuff in them.
me: flesh. she doesnít eat meat. sheís a vegetarian again.
e.d.: i used to eat seafood, when i was a vegetarian before.
me: sheís been one before, you know.
e.d.: thatís right. iíve been one before, you know. itís my natural state.
the man: what? vegetative?
me: bwahahahaahaha!!
e.d.: thatís not funny.
me: oh yes it is.
occasionally, i like to answer the unasked questions that those of you who have not met evildeb have on your minds, whether you like to admit it, or not. why do i call her EVILdeb? what makes her evil. ladies and gentlemen of the internet, i give you … exhibit b. evildeb sent this out to a mail list we have here at work, called ìmr. snotty.î
anyone who would subject coworkers to this kind of thing has to be evil.
Oh, I’m not vegetarian ’cause I love animals. I’m vegetarian ’cause I hate plants.
today evildeb is “working” from home. and mollymonster, queen of the lip balm, is off. so that leaves me in a pod full of yucky boys. except one of them has recently taken to calling himself The Man. so it’s yucky boys and one Man.
did i tell you that evildeb is a vegetarian now? she announced this awhile back. back around my birthday, as a matter of fact. we were talking about … i don’t even know what and all the sudden:
e.d.: i’m a vegetarian
me: what? what are you talking about?
e.d.: i’m a vegetarian now. i’ve been one before.
me: when did this happen.
e.d.: two days ago. i’ve been one before you know.
me: and why did you decide to become one again?
e.d.: it’s right for me, i don’t like killing animals. i’ve been one before you know.
me: yes, you’ve said that before as well. i don’t know, deb… NOT wanting to kill animals isn’t very evil.
e.d.: yes it is. being a vegetarian makes me more difficult. more difficult to feed.
me: excellent point. you’re right. you are a giant pain in the ass now. it IS evil.
e.d.: i’ve been one before, you know.
me: shut up.
*few minutes later….
me: was it the bee?
e.d.: what?
me: was it the bee that turned you veggie? i bet it was the bee.
e.d.: *sigh* no. it wasn’t the bee. i’ve been one before, you know.
me: shut up.
insane bank logic…
i called b of a back, to schedule and appt. for me and my stepdad to come in and talk to them. and before i even had a chance to do that they told me i could have my car back. they’d reinstate the loan. sooooo…. apparently, the trick is to call back, and not ask to have it back. i’m going to have to fork over a couple of thousand dollars. but… let’s look at the alternative.
the alternative is the bus, people. i’m not overly fond of the bus.
it’s too late to do anything about it today. evildeb is going to take me to all the banks i need to hit tomorrow morning. and then i’ll take the stupid bus into n. seattle on monday morning and pick it up. i think i am still going to borrow the truck for the weekend, tho.
note to fee: i don’t know where ginormous comes from, but you are correct when you say i didn’t get it from kevin and bean. i’ve never even heard kevin and bean.
I want you all over that ball like a fat kid on a cupcake!
evildeb is being extra evil today, although i’m not certain she planned to be. she brought in carrot cake cupcakes, with cream cheese frosting. to make them extra special, she explained how she was baking an apple pie in the rack above, and apple pie juice bubbled over from the pie, into the cupcakes. i can have none of these delicious pie infested cupcakes. because they are just tiny CARBS with CARB FROSTING. on my first day, too. mean. i pointed this out to her, and she claims she didn’t even think of it that way. but that’s the evil for you…
speaking of cupcakes, my coworker molly was in nyc last week for some trade show and says she found a “cupcake place” not far from the ice cream place i told her about. a place just for cupcakes? that’s ok, steve found a place that’s all about rice pudding. how could i have missed THAT when i was in nyc. he promised me he’d check it out. did i mention that dr. stevil is in nyc as well?
so far… i am not receiving any particular energy boosts from the high protein low carb diet. but i guess i have to give it more than 5 hours, huh?