I like to look at my webstats, particularly the referrals. And search words. It’s like having a collection of something. I just like to take them out and look at them. Because a certain phrase came up three times in one week, I followed the google link to see how I ranked. And I can now tell you that if you do a search for the phrase “good spanking” I am number six.

WHOO-HOO!! Number six! Looking to be number one!!

Arifa asked me an interesting question, after visiting Satan’s Bookclub. Since I don’t really believe in hell, do I believe in heaven?

Arifa: do you believe in heaven? because i was thinking about how you don’t believe in hell…

Jodi: i believe in an afterlife of some kind. but not a christian heaven. per se. what about you?

Arifa i believe in cheese toast which i am having now

Jodi: oh my god! THAT IS HEAVEN! HEAVEN EXISTS!

I never really think about whether or not I believe in heaven. But I guess, if you are looking at a Judeo-Christian definition of heaven, I don’t. It’s such a good story though! Heaven and hell, the war of angels, Lucifer’s fall from grace, which took seven days, I believe. It’s an epically good story! But…

Jodi: it’s like, what is good and what is evil? you know what good and evil are? they are constructs of man. if there is a higher place of existence, it probably does not anything to do with good and evil. whoa. i got kinda deep.

The more I think about quantum physics, which i do on a regular basis, the less I believe in heaven and hell. The more I try to conceptualize being made up of atoms, the less I believe the definition of God that Christianity, Judaism and Islam have come up with. When the reality of our existence is so much more amazing than what they gave us in their holy books. For as long as I can remember, even as a young child, I would stop and think about my birth, the fact that I existed. Once I understood how babies were made, I realized how very amazing it was that I was me, and not someone else. With all those sperm fighting for that egg, I won the lottery of existence. It could have very well been a different sperm that made it there first and POOF, I would not be here. I could trip on these thoughts for hours. Or I would lay on the ground and look up at the night sky. I’d picture myself there, lying on the grass, in relation to my neighborhood, to my town, to my state, and so on until I was attempting to relate myself to the universe at large. And it would freak me out.. what a damn miracle it was. What a terribly unlikely, mathematically impossible miracle it was, that our galaxy existed in this universe of galaxies, that our planet existed among all these other planet with no apparent life on them, how on this planet, there lived a girl in some state – some city, who existed only because one out of hundreds of millions of sperm made it to the egg first.

Which may be why I never took drugs, growing up.

I was in training all day, I did not spend a single minute at my desk. During one of the breaks, KK and I were walking across the street from the plaza building to the waterfront building. We were on the sidewalk, next to a giant dumpster, that has a long chute stretched up to the 2nd floor. They are doing construction up there. In her hand, she held one of the coveted Lemon Bars from upstairs. These things are very very good. I was about tell her about the Lemon Bar addiction that Louise and I went through, for about three weeks, when all of the sudden a heard of joggers came towards us. About twelve young men, all in very good shape, the majority of them with no shirt on, surrounded us and jogged past.
"Oh those lemon bars are… are… lemon and the … yummy…goodness….uh…. oh my!"
*giggle*
“When you tell this story, be sure to mention how most of them had their shirts off.”
“Oh, I will.”