“It was so scary! It said the internet was down, that I didn’t have access! And I couldn’t email and I could browse the web, and yet I was still chatting! I was chatting with DrinkJack… or was I dreaming? Could I have been dreaming? A booze induced dream from the Brutal Fruit I just drank?”
“Well…”
“But then…. but then, I restarted, and it all came back. And then it went away…then I repaired permissions… and it’s back”
“Only one bottle? God you suck when you are drinking.”
“Hey… don’t put limitations on my suckage like that… I suck ALL THE TIME. Perfectly sober!”
“’nuff said?”
“who’s a baby kitty? you are! you’re my fluffy baby kitty!!”
“shut up.”
“come on… whooooo’s your mommy? WHO. IS. YOUR. MOMMY?”
Monthly Archives: May 2005
Update on mental status
It’s ok… everything is going to be fine, you guys… it was a rough morning… Deb was sobbing and I was punching myself in the head with my own fists… but everything is ok because I had a good cheeseburger for lunch, I’m listening to Venus* from Holst’s The Planets, and our boss just gave us some really good tequila, from her trip to Mexico. You can’t even taste it in my orange-cranberry juice concoction. I have invented a drink I intended to call the Hamilton. But instead, because of it’s appearance, I have named it The Bomit.
I warned them… I said, you don’t want me to have any tequila, seriously…. but would they listen?
*Venus is my planet. Because I’m a Libra. Do you know what that means? It means I was born between September. 23rdish and October 22ndish, that’s what it means.
Amelia feels your pain
“Dude, I have been on the phone nonstop this morning… no kidding… it’s NUTS!”
“I know I am dangerously close to nuts from listening to him make all those phone calls.”
“It’s true, you are. Who is that girl sobbing on the floor?”
“Well, Amelia, that’s Evildeb, and she’s already gone around the corner from nuts to looney. I’d better take her outside for a walk.”
“I think so… I think she might bomit.”
Heads up regarding 50 fiction
Hi, this week’s theme is going to take some prep, because I am opening it up to you guys to start it off. This week I thought we could do a 50 word fiction daisy chain, each post adds on to the previous post, to make one überstory. In 50 word increments.
I could start this off myself, but I thought that maybe someone else would want to write the initial 50 words… anyone up for it? Email me if you want to be the instigator of this party, and I will post the first one late Thursday night, although I will change the post time to make it look like Friday because I cheat like that.
So you beat up a fat guy in a tux?
I got this link from bookslut… and you have to watch it, if only for the costuming. [if that’s not enough… Sam Rockwell plays Batman.]
Ok then… that’s it.
Bored now. I have been working on the most tedious of all tedious tasks that occasionally fall into my inbox. Little pieces of my soul are drifting up and away, as we speak, and I cannot spare any of MY SOUL, as we all know. And I’ve just about reach the capacity of tedium that a girl like me can take. But all is not lost! For today my Mac Mini has arrived!! Cuter than your average button, she is. But she has no name, a fact that Dr. Stevil finds astounding, since I name all my inanimate objects, especially my computers. And macs are almost always girls. Amelia suggested “Amelia” but that could get confusing.
The other night I had this dream. See if you can guess what I was dreaming about. I was living in a house with my parents [Mom and Stepdad] who were away for the weekend. I decided to take a shower, and when I got out, somebody had gone through the house sticky multi-colored pieces of paper on the walls and doors. These pieces of paper were as small as a mini post-it note and as large as 8.5×11, and they had words printed on them, but most of the words were gibberish. Or they were written like this “st0ck prices go thru the r00f!” I was running down the hallway, tearing these pieces of paper off the walls and doors, when I saw someone dash down the stairs. I looked over the balcony, and there was the culprit! Along with my parents.
Now, for some reason, at this point, everyone became lego people. I yelled “stop him! he’s a note leaver! he’s leaving notes everywhere!”
So my stepdad shot and killed him, and started to drag his lego man body out the door. This seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. When I got downstairs, we’d all turned back into humans. I told my mother I did not understand how he got in, to leave the notes. How they ever get it, because this had happened before. She explained to me that they were very very patient. That they hid out in the storm drain, but the street, waiting for an opportunity to sneak in. In fact, there was one there right now. We went out to look at him. He didn’t look very healthy.
“sometimes, they have viruses.” My mom said.
After that dream, I woke up and went to get a glass of water, while standing in the kitchen, it struck me… what I had just dreamed about. And it made me laugh.
Maggie makes up a word
Evideb says that Mimi, the evildog, was as sick as a dog could be, on Saturday night. The evil inside her was coming out both ends, and she was throwing up every five minutes. The next day, when Mimi began to cough, AlmostCertainlyGoingToEndUpEvilMaggie asked her mom if the dog was about to “bomit.”
“Bomit? Don’t you mean “vomit?”
“Bomit is PRETEND vomit.”
When Evideb told me the story today, I had to admit that there was a need in my life for a word that means pretend, or virtual, vomit. In fact, just five minutes ago:
Spoken:
Me: Uh-oh… Deb… I think I am going to bomit.
Evideb: Oh no… why?
Via Chat:
Me: Because overheard: “am I going to make ANY commission on this? oh my god… that is so much money!”
Me: therefore; jodi: bomit.
Evildeb: I have a question. Am I going to make ANY commission on this painful review of these GENERIC WORK TASK AT P.O.E. that I’m working on?
Me: no. no you are not. in fact, all you are going to make is bomit.
Evildeb: yes, I think I shall make some bomit. Hey, that’s what you can do when he gets loud, you can bomit over the wall of his cubicle.
Me: I need some golf balls, and a sharpie pen, STAT!
A tribue to Amelia
DrinkJack was out and about this weekend, and happened to see the following tribute to Amelia, so he sent me a picture.
“It’s very pretty, Amelia.”
“Yes, it is nice… I like the trees.”
“Where do you think it leads?”
“Duh… the airport!”
A song for a brother…
Sung to the tune of “Nature Boy”
There was a boy
A strange and tragic boy
And in his hand, he held his pain
For all the world to see
How he’d been hurt, by those he loved
Above reproach was he
And then one day
A stormy day he passed my way
And while he spoke of all his pain
Tried to explain
This is what he heard from me
“The greatest gift you need to learn”
“Is to forgive, and be forgiven in return.”
I suppose it’s nicer than yelling “Get the fuck over it!!” in his face.
50 Word Fiction Friday Vol. VI
Hello and welcome to VI. This week, I spent some time in class, learning more about color science and technology. And so this week’s theme is color. Pretty broad, you can use it anyway you like, just name a color somewhere, and you’ve met the challenge. Of course, you are welcome to get more creative.
Always a bridesmaid.
“Let me explain this to you one more time,” she said, clutching the bridesmaid dress in her fist, “Color harmony provides visual interest with a sense of complimentary chromatic balance. Overlooking these principles will result in unattractive, unpleasant emotional experiences. Cut to the chase? This dress will make me vomit.”