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I know why the caged vegan is so sad.

Last night I went to hear Maya Angelou speak, with my mother. It was her Mother’s Day Present. Dr. Angelou was discussing positive influences in your life, even when things seem at their worst. “Rainbows in your clouds” she called them. She was very charming and funny, I enjoyed hearing her speak very much, but she read a poem of hers that has now made her one of my heroes. She wrote this poem after being yelled at by a waitress in a health food restaurant, for taking out her pack of cigarettes to smoke. This was over 20 years ago, because she made a point of saying she’s been nicotine free for 20 years. I hope this is an accurate transcription of the poem, but I think you’ll get the point if it is not.

The Health-Food Diner



No sprouted wheat and soya shoots

And Brussels in a cake,

Carrot straw and spinach raw,

(Today, I need a steak).

Not thick brown rice and rice pilaw

Or mushrooms creamed on toast,

Turnips mashed and parsnips hashed,

(I’m dreaming of a roast).

Health-food folks around the world

Are thinned by anxious zeal,

They look for help in seafood kelp

(I count on breaded veal).

No smoking signs, raw mustard greens,

Zucchini by the ton,

Uncooked kale and bodies frail

Are sure to make me run

to

Loins of pork and chicken thighs

And standing rib, so prime,

Pork chops brown and fresh ground round

(I crave them all the time).

Irish stews and boiled corned beef

and hot dogs by the scores,

or any place that saves a space

For smoking carnivores.

— Maya Angelou

FYI: I had steak for dinner last night and it was goooOOOOoood.

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