Tomorrow is Evildeb’s birthday. Lately, she has started referring to herself as PROXOMITRON THE DECIDER. in all caps. First, it was just THE DECIDER, most likely because she felt that Bush was mistaken about who the real DECIDER was. But now, it’s PROXOMITRON. When she refers to herself as PROXOMITRON, it’s in the third person. As in “PROXOMITRON is not pleased.”

I hope PROXOMITRON is pleased with the birthday present I got her. I think she will be. I can’t tell you what it is right now, because she is in an all day computer class, growing increasingly more bored by the moment, and there is a slight chance she’ll read my blog because of it. I think the name PROXOMITRON came out of this class, she’s been attending every MWF and this one S, for the last couple of weeks.

I’m going over to Evildeb’s house for dinner. She is going to cook me some meat. Some cow meat. Since I started this diet, I haven’t had been eating a lot of meat. Not just red meat, any meat. Mostly because I don’t cook. And since I am no longer allowed to get my meals through my car window, my normal source for cooked flesh, it just doesn’t come up very often. I’m practically a freakin’ vegetarian! And that will never do. I stopped by the Evil Household the other night to pick something up, and I almost snatched AlmostCertainlyGoingToEndUpEvilMaggie’s dinner right off her plate. Chicken nuggest. [She wouldn’t have cared, she was too busy running through the house naked, clutching a large plastic shark and yelling ‘INCOMING!’ ] So she is going to have some kind of ocean meat, and I get grilled beast. I’m soooooo looking forward to it. Mmmmm… steak.

If you know what’s good for you, you will wish PROXOMITRON THE DECIDER happy birthday tomorrow. God only knows what will happen if she does not feel the love.