Scene: I’m in bed, trying to go back to sleep after Wil left for work. Momo jumps up on the bed and sits on me, sphinx like, and gives me the stare.

Me: What?

Momo: …

Me: Didn’t your dad give you crunchies before he left?

Momo: ….

Me: Hey, it’s not my fault he put them in the water dish. Pretend it’s cereal.

Momo: ….

Me: There is no need for that kind of language.

Momo: ….

Me: Don’t make me roll you off me!

Momo: ….

Me: ok, fine, git off me and I’ll give you new crunchies.

Momo: …..

Me: You’re welcome.

Isn’t it precious how I refer to Wil as her dad? Like the kittens are our children? Don’t you just want to throw up a little?