In the last couple of months I have lost more weight. Not by any effort on my part. I shouldn’t mention that part because I know how hard it is to lose weight, how much work it takes. Saying that I went down a pant size with no effort is going to make people want to slap me. I would want to slap me. In fact, hang on, I’ll do it for you. Consider me slapped.

During those darker early months of 2008, I lost my appetite for a while, and I couldn’t make myself eat anything. After I got my appetite back, I waited to see if I put the weight back on when I started to eat, but it’s been a couple months and all my pants are still too big. So, I need new pants. You’d think having Too Big pants would be plenty comfortable. But it’s not. I have to wear a belt to keep them up, which is pinchy. And they make me feel, well, dumpy in the seat.

There was a fatter time in my life when I thought I might learn to enjoy shopping, when I could shop in any store I wanted. But you know what? I still hate it. I am a creature of habit. If I find a shirt I like, I buy more of them in different colors. I used to wear the same type of Levi’s, I had several pair, never bothered with anything else because they fit and were comfortable. Losing weight forced me to try new paints, but I still gravitate to the same stores over and over. Gap, Old Navy, American Eagle Outfitters and whomever sells Levi’s.

Imagine my despair to find that my style of American Eagle Outfitter’s jeans seem to be discontinued, the remaining stock all the wrong size. The biggest problem is that I actually got compliments wearing those jeans. If someone compliments in a pair of jeans? Well, I immediately go out and buy more of them. I don’t think anyone has every complimented my jeans before, come to think of it. So that was a Big Deal.

The Gap didn’t have anything I wanted in the proper length. I don’t even understand what Old Navy has done to their jeans, and everything in the Levi’s store is all fancy and skinny legged. Or sooper flared. Obviously I’m not a fashion plate.

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking “Shut up, Jodi! You have to buy pants in a SMALLER SIZE! Boo-hoo!”

You’re right. I’m shutting up.