I do love english muffins. One, because they call themselves “muffins” even though they are not part of what I would, traditionally, consider the muffin family. Cheeky. And, they make the sublime Egg McMuffin possible. (You want to blow your own mind? Make your own egg mcmuffin at home. With cheddar cheese. Good god, that is good eating.)

What I like best of all is the way the english muffin encourages my excesses. No sooner do you touch your knife to the muffin, then the butter disappears into deep crevices. And you have to get MORE BUTTER. More butter = more better, that’s just a fundamental truth. Everyone knows that.

Thank you, english muffin! Welcome to my tummy.