Weight Watchers is all about increasing the activity in your life. Which puts it at direct odds with me, since I am all about decreasing the activity and increasing the sloth. But, I’ve been trying. There are the belly dance class, although, I am currently not going, but should be starting back up soon. I’m will be taking swimming lessons, to improve my form. Swimming is really the only sport I like. And now, thanks to Louise, I am considering getting a bike. I think “riding bikes” and “swimming” were my main forms of activity as a kid. Maybe that’s why they appeal to me. The belly dancing? Not sure, except we used to dance, in the living room, to the Grease soundtrack a lot. There must be a goofy dancer in me somewhere.

But I’m not going to lie to you, what is really selling the idea of getting a bike, is the bike itself.

Tell me I wouldn’t look cute on that bike.

IMPORTANT NOTE:

I’ve changed my mind, I think I want the Betty, in red. With leopard print. thought you all should know. Last weekend, Louise purchased the Betty in black and pink.

I saw a squirrel attacked by a large crow the other day. I think the squirrel, who was on the small side, was poking around something the crow thought of as his food source. In the middle of the road. The crow chased after the squirrel, got ahold of it’s tail in it’s evil crow claws, and lifted it off the ground. He couldn’t hold it for long, and dropped it, at which point the squirrel got away. Lucky for the crow, cuz I was in my car driving down my street, when I saw this, and I was in the process of pulling over to come to the squirrel’s rescue.

I’m not overly fond of birds.

Except for ducks. I like ducks.

It was a pretty quiet weekend.

Last night I went to hear Maya Angelou speak, with my mother. It was her Mother’s Day Present. Dr. Angelou was discussing positive influences in your life, even when things seem at their worst. “Rainbows in your clouds” she called them. She was very charming and funny, I enjoyed hearing her speak very much, but she read a poem of hers that has now made her one of my heroes. She wrote this poem after being yelled at by a waitress in a health food restaurant, for taking out her pack of cigarettes to smoke. This was over 20 years ago, because she made a point of saying she’s been nicotine free for 20 years. I hope this is an accurate transcription of the poem, but I think you’ll get the point if it is not.

The Health-Food Diner



No sprouted wheat and soya shoots

And Brussels in a cake,

Carrot straw and spinach raw,

(Today, I need a steak).

Not thick brown rice and rice pilaw

Or mushrooms creamed on toast,

Turnips mashed and parsnips hashed,

(I’m dreaming of a roast).

Health-food folks around the world

Are thinned by anxious zeal,

They look for help in seafood kelp

(I count on breaded veal).

No smoking signs, raw mustard greens,

Zucchini by the ton,

Uncooked kale and bodies frail

Are sure to make me run

to

Loins of pork and chicken thighs

And standing rib, so prime,

Pork chops brown and fresh ground round

(I crave them all the time).

Irish stews and boiled corned beef

and hot dogs by the scores,

or any place that saves a space

For smoking carnivores.

— Maya Angelou

FYI: I had steak for dinner last night and it was goooOOOOoood.

I want to go on a vacation. Somewhere I’ve never been before. Somewhere that isn’t just visiting friends, or Las Vegas. Those are my two default types of vacations.

Where should I go?

I live in fear that someone in my family is going to try to get me on TLC’s What Not to Wear. I actually like the show, I enjoy Stacy and Clinton, and think they know what they are talking about, when it comes to making people look good. It would probably be pretty cool to get $5,000 to spend in NYC, and their advice to go along with it. That being said, I would never, in a million years, give them all of my clothes to mock and then throw away. As is the custom on that show. I’m sure I could be schooled in which paints would make my ass look smaller, my legs longer, and my IQ higher. But it’s not worth it to me. I’m not going to give up my beloved graphic tees. And I am not going to wear a shoe with a “little bit of a heel” to “elongate the leg.” It’s not going to happen. It would be handy to know how to dress my age on certain occasions, but it’s not worth giving up my personal identity to do it.

Seriously, I worry about this. I know my family would love to make me over. I know it. They’d love to see me in something besides jeans and sneakers. You can tell by the way they freak out with excitement when they see me in something other than jeans and sneakers. Unless it’s pajama pants. I don’t think they are impressed by my pajama pants. But the fact is, I’m a casual girl. It probably costs me, first impressionwise. But you know what happens when you try to be something you are not, and give in to the pressure of making a good girly first impression? Blisters! On the bottoms of your baby tender feet. That’s what.

I’m not sure if TLC’s What Not to Wear have ever encountered someone who refused their offer of $$$ in exchange for all their clothes, but I would refuse. Graciously. I would explain to Stacy and Clinton that I admire them, and respect their clothing advice, and would love to get their opinion on how to dress on the rare occasions I want to dress like an adult, it would be SOOPER cool to know how to do that, but then I would turn them down. I mean, if you were me, would you give up this shirt?

You would not. If you were me. Besides, I’m not completely stupid. I don’t wear pleated pants or anything.

Also… I don’t like to shop. For clothes. Books, dvds, cd’s… computer stuff… hell yeah. But not clothes.

Shoes don’t count as clothes in the above scenario, fyi. Shoes are different.

Note: Dear Family and Friends, this is, in no way, a reverse psychology plea for you to set me up with What Not to Wear. I would, in fact, be most displeased to find myself in that situation, especially with the secret filming and all. If you want to get me on a TLC show, please get me on Miami Ink. That really is much more my style.

Yesterday, cubeplex neighbor KK and I were chatting about something, I don’t know what, but I am sure it was totally work related, and the conversation turned to dogs. I am a cat person. But I do like dogs. Just more on an individual basis. Whereas I pretty much love all cats. KK is a former owner of greyhounds.

Jodi: i like lazy dogs.

KK: me too

Jodi: lazy dogs who like to nap.

KK: lazy dumb dogs are the best

Jodi: dogs who are practially cats.

KK: greyhounds! they really are cat-dogs

Jodi: i’ve heard they are pretty laid back.

KK: yes they are…they have about 10 min. of crazy energy a day and you don’t have to do anything to get them to use it up. stand in a field/yard and they run circles till they’re tired. just perfect. and it’s realy hard to know what they’re thinking (like cats) they are pretty aloof and aren’t sloppy lickers or mega tail waggers. a perfectly happy greyhound will stand in front of you and stare.

Jodi: LOVELY!

KK: yeah, I miss them 🙂 truly are cat-dogs.

Jodi: pru would not like it.

KK: she’d be jelous I’m sure

Jodi: would it do ok with a cat?

KK: depends on the dog. I had a cat living with my 2 for awhile. Once they were introduced and they learned the cat was off limits, I didn’t have a problem

Jodi: maybe some day I could adopt one. when i have a house. and I can build a dog run.

KK: houses make it easier for sure

Jodi: either adopt a greyhound, or a chinese baby girl. one of the two.

Jodi: i would name my chinese baby girl after my bunny. i’d name her Phoebe.

KK: that’s a nice name

Jodi: works well for rabbits, as well as daughters.

KK: so versatile!

Jodi: but, once again, better to wait until i have a house.

KK: yeah, I was just going to say that

Jodi: i’d need to build a chinese baby girl run.

KK: you know, once you get a house you could probably get BOTH

Jodi: could they share the same run, do you think? or would i need a dog run AND chinese baby girl run?

KK: probably, the dog could help keep her warm at night too so you wouldn’t have to havea heat lamp

Jodi: i’d probably let her in at night. let her sleep in the laundry room. the dog that is.

Jodi: the chinese baby girl would have her own room. sheesh. what are you thinking?

KK: I was being practical and consolidating on space and resources. Coming up with ways for things to mulit-functional. What else would I be thinking ?

Jodi:true. you are right.

KK: you haveto think this way when you are providing for others

KK: gotta be practical

KK: and stuff

Jodi: hmmm… i am learning a lot from you. thank you for your generosity.

KK: sure, anytime. I’m full of it

Jodi: i’ll say

I’ve spent a few hours geeking out today, doing top secret things to my blog. For one, I’ve set up a new Feedburner feed, in order to better track my stats. I have attempted to set up a redirect in an .htaccess file, so that anyone who subscribes to my feed will be redirected, but I don’t know if that’s working. I hope so, because otherwise the stats are pretty useless.

Additionally, I have set up hot link protection so the little creeps at myspace.com can no longer hot link to my images and use them in their profiles. It drives me NUTS. If you have any issues seeing images that I’ve posted, please let me know. If you want to hot link something, just ask me. I have no problem with people I know hot linking. I just have to add you to the acceptable list.

In fact, here is a test image of me, and my favorite drug of choice.