Author Archives: Jodi

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Christine says I’m cute when I am PMSey

I am annoyed. The stupid windows laptop I brought home from work will not connect to my wireless network. I’ve tried. I can’t get it to work. Therefore it is both annoying and retarded. I am not retarded, the laptop is. It can just fuck right the hell off!! All I wanted to do was play a little online poker with William, obviously I would be doing the winning. That’s all I wanted. But most, ie: 99% of online poker sites are not mac compatible. Including the one he plays on. Therefore, they are also annoying and retarded. Not William, the online poker sites. The fact that they are not mac compatible makes them retarded and elitist and fucked up and I hate them.

I felt the need to express my anger. I would strongly suggest that no one leave a comment telling me to get a pc so I can play poker. I am not the one who needs to change in this world. It’s them. They know who they are. Fuckers.

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books

Barnes and Noble therapy

Boys, you might want to avert your eyes right about now. I’m going to bring up a girly topic. Ladies, am I the only one who combats cramps with buying dvd’s, cd’s or books. Or, in the case of this weekend, all three? It doesn’t really work. But it gives you something to do when you are lying about the house, lamenting your fate and taking Alieve. I imagine most girls go for shoes. Not me. I head for Barnes and Noble.

The books I bought:



“House of Leaves” (Mark Z. Danielewski)

My cousin was reading this the last time I went to visit her. It’s supposed to be scary. I’ll let you know. I haven’t started it yet.



“The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time ” (Mark Haddon)



“Darkly Dreaming Dexter” (Jeff Lindsay)

I’m reading this one cuz Chris from rude cactus read it and I want to be just like him when I grow up. The hero is a serial killer. Creepy!

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thenandnow

Then and Now: Episode 15 Loaded Up and Truckin’

Well this is a not so long distance dedication to Mr. Moon, who missed the very special Smokey and the Bandit themed “My Name is Earl” on Tuesday. So I had to pick this song.
Eastbound and Down – Jerry Reed

And if hearing that didn’t make me happy enough all on its own, how about a version done by the Supersuckers? Aaaand…. that’s all I have to say about that, I guess.
Eastbound and Down – Supersuckers

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evildeb, movies and tv, music, work

Steve drives like he lives life; hard, fast and scared.

We Used to Be Friends (Theme Song) from the album “Veronica Mars (Original Television Soundtrack)” by The Dandy Warhols

I’m listening to the soundtrack to Veronica Mars. It’s an excellent show, and an excellent soundtrack. I know a lot of my friends watch Lost, which this season, plays opposite of Veronica Mars, but hopefully you’ll check out VM when Lost is in repeats. It’s a very smart show, well written, and has fun cameos every once in a while. Last week was Joss Whedon as an obnoxious car rental clerk. [Apparently he calls Veronica Mars “Best. Show. Ever.” ] Earlier in the season it was Kevin Smith as, get this, a convenience store clerk! Yes! Anyway, last season is out on DVD, so you can ask Santa for it, or you can come over and watch my copy.

I promise I will watch Lost, when season two comes out on DVD. From what I hear, I might as well save myself the mental anguish and wait until I can watch a whole bunch of both seasons at once.

Survived the trip to Portland, but it was a long day. Put Dr. Stevil, Evildeb and I into a car together for more than five minutes, and it’s like driving around 3 obnoxious 7 year olds on a sugar high. Dr. Stevil is my hero because he used his fancy Treo phone PDA thingy to get a serial number for the trial version of Mah Jong I had on my laptop, from the road. Nonetheless, by the time we dropped him off at his house, late last night, he ran practically screaming from the car. It was so cute.

I Hear the Bells from the album “Veronica Mars (Original Television Soundtrack)” by Mike Doughty

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50 Word Fictions

50 Word Fiction Fridays Vol. 32

Hey kids… we continue our sin theme with sloth. My favorite. I’ll be away all day, so I look forward to your stories when I return. Please…. write me stories, I’ll need something happy by the time I get home.

Orientation

She met with Satan first.

“I’m going to be honest with you, I’m not sure you have what it takes to make it down here. Sloth? That’s it?”

She shrugged listlessly. “One time I ate three boxes of girl scout cookies in an afternoon.”

“Gluttony! Now we’re talking!”

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evildeb

I don’t think there are unicorns in Oregon

So, it’s good to know I am not the only one not writing. I’m still going to keep at thinking about writing. Like Loon says, there could be a 30,000 word weekend in my future.

According to Elle, they do have unicorns in Canada. But this is news to me. She never mentioned them before. I’m going to require photographic evidence. According to William, he is not allowed to talk about the unicorns to outsiders like me, even tho I begged and promised to be his best friend and make him cookies. We are still in negotiations. He said that frankly, he was shocked to hear that they were even mentioned in the commercial. They are that top secret, I suppose.

I did not make cookies last night, as I was missing the top secret special ingredient. Two times I put on my sneakers to go to the store. And both times I stopped and went back to work on my computer. Once you are snuggled down in the geek butt yoga pants, it’s hard to make yourself go back out again.

Tomorrow I will be leaving at the break of dawn for Oregon. It’s a business trip. I will be down in Portland all day tomorrow. I don’t particularly care for business trips. I don’t mind the trade shows so much, because then I am of some use. People always want to talk to tech support. But this kind of trip is not my favorite kind. I’ve avoided the last couple of trips down there. That’s why I am required to go tomorrow. Then I just have to stand around. I have to no real purpose, other than being there. I’m cut off from the mother ship, and I feel panic. I don’t want to be there, I want to be back at my desk, with my ergonomic keyboard, connected to the network, doing my job, playing with my toys. Working with purpose. Evildeb loves going down there. She loves being there. I like being here.

I’ll have the 50 word fiction up before I go. This week, it’s my favorite sin… SLOTH!!

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nanowrimo

Don’t hate me because I’m speechless

How disappointed would you be in me, if I failed to complete the NaNoWriMo challenge this year? I’m just not writing anything. I’ve been doing a lot of Not Writing. Spending hours at it, really. Every night, I come home from work, change out of my binding party clothes and into my geek butt yoga pants – which you would think would be inspirational, wouldn’t you? – and sit down on the couch with the laptop and Not Write. I spent hours on Sunday Not Writing. It’s somewhat painful, actually.

I’m not giving up yet… I’m just saying. I might not win this year. Don’t keep your hopes too high, but it’s never over until November 30th at 11:59 pm PST.

I’m going to make cookies now. By the way, I can not recommend highly enough, the geek butt yoga pants, they are übercomfortable.

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Uncategorized

Ride the rainbow to happiness

Yesterday morning, when I started my car, the radio came on in the middle of a commercial about a magical place. A place so wonderful it had unicorns and rainbows and marzipan forests or some such craziness. it was way over the top, I thought it was either a commercial about a christmas store, or car insurance. But no, this magical place? Canada! It’s true! it’s for a website called comeseecanadanow.com.

I told some friends about this commercial, and, honestly, most people did not believe me. They said, “you are just looking for an excuse to visit Canada!”

But I told them I don’t need an excuse to visit Canada, I have tons of ’em and I can visit any old time I want. Besides, as an American who lives only a couple of hours from the border, I have the default, built in excuse… Tylenol 3. Not that I would bring that back. I’m more apt to bring back smarties. They are such pretty colors.

But then, I heard the commercial again today. And I learned that, in addition to unicorns, there are faeries and gingerbread houses and a sea of gumdrops and marzipan! And all you have to do to get there is ride the Rainbow of Happiness! This is fabulous! I’m so excited.

However, I want to know… where are said unicorns? I have been to Vancouver several times. I’ve seen not a one. Tell me, Canadian friends… where do you keep the unicorns? Perhaps in the mystical and far away Nova Scotia? I think my friend Elle would tell me if she had unicorns in Nunavut. She’d at least send a picture.

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music, work

Second Tuesday in November

Today is the day when good boys and girls, in the United States, go out and vote. All sorts of fun stuff on the ballots today. Including a new mayor for Seattle, although I don’t get to vote for that, I am not registered in the city of Seattle. In celebration of election day, my neighborhood senior citizen philosopher has changed his Placemat Platitude. Unfortunately, it’s a repeat.

“The ballot is stronger than the bullet.” ~ Abe Lincoln

I had a rock in my hand, and I was getting ready to throw it at his window, yelling “Hey… old man! We’ve seen that one before!” but then I noticed he added a festive little “Vote!” banner, at the bottom. At a jaunty angle. So, ok… this time we’ll let it go.

All of you… go do what you’re told and vote!

I bought this cd today:

Kate Bush: Aerial

I’ve just started listening to it, but so far, I love it.

Oh, one more thing, I had to borrow a Windows laptop for some seminar thing I was participating in. Yay. I left my desk and found the following note when I returned:

Dear Mr Alien,

Please bring back my friend Jodi as soon as possible and remove the Jodi-look-a-like impostor you left in her place.

I’m on to you, Mr. Alien, you may think you are really clever and that the substitution was flawless. But you made one huge, fatal, mistake – Ha! PC laptop!!

Bring back Jodi – remove the clone and we’ll say no more about it.

Yours sincerely, Louise, Alien Clone Sub Spotter Extraordinaire

XXX

PS: The cheese pie detail almost fooled me. Nice.

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