Miss Kitty [Tessa], Boss, Ace Barracuda, and I, Miss Conduct, played poker out in the sunshine, in the courtyard at lunch today. I was on fire! Of course, for someone who was on fire, I was awfully cool. I went into a hand with pocket ace’s, and ended up with a full house. And I made everyone pay BIG TIME to play that hand.

We had an audience for bit, watching the game. Someone from the shipping dept. At one point, when I was dealing, I slapped down the river and said something like “POW!” or “BANG!” Shipping dept. guy deadpans, “whoa. that was a thunderous boom. that’s quite a voice you’ve got there. it echoed.” He wasn’t joking, he really thought it was a thunderous boom. It was just my outside voice. I was just having fun. But that brought Tessa and I to that stage of laughter where no sound is coming out, and you are clutching your stomach. Maybe my thunderous boom is one of my super powers.

I’m going to an my friend’s gallery opening tonight after work. I thought I’d try to be all classy and shit, so I wore a shirt with buttons and a collar. No text or graphics. And, unfortunately, it’s white. And sure enough, it’s got Wendy’s Frosty on it now. I don’t know why I even try. Yesterday I was telling the artist that I was going to be there.

“Louise and I are coming over after lunch… I mean after dinner… I mean after work! sheesh.”

At that point I laughed at myself, but I was also about to take a sip of water, I had the bottle to my lips, but didn’t notice how close to the rim it was filled, and ended up spraying water all over myself.

“That was perfect!”

“Thanks, I try”

It’s not that I am a spaz, it’s just that I have special skills.

We join Tessa, Louise and I in mid conversation at lunch.

Jodi: Dallas maybe?

Louise: Maybe

Jodi: yup, lived there too.

Tessa: wow, you really get around

Jodi: that’s what they say about me.

Louise: So have you ever been to Lukenbach?

Jodi: Where?

Louise: Lukenbach Texas… you know, like the song.

Tessa: What song?

Louise: The song! You know.. that one song.

Tessa and Jodi: yes, of course, that ONE song.

Louise: [in a hesitant voice, sings, with no discernible melody] …Luckenbach Texas…. something.

Tessa and Jodi laugh hysterically. Because we’re fun like that.

Tessa: Do you know any other lyrics that might help us out?

Jodi: Who sings it?

Louise: I don’t know, Johnny Cash maybe? It’s confusing because there is also that place Lubbock. [pronounced as loo-BOCK.]

Jodi: loo-BOCK? You mean Lubbock? L-u-b-b-u-c-k? [pronounced as luh-buck]

Louise: I don’t know! I don’t know how it’s spelled, Waylon Jennings is from there or something?

Tessa: We are not going to be able to help you out on this one. You are going to have to google it.

Jodi: yeah, you are going to have to do some sassy detective work. Regardless, no, I have never been to Lukenbach, to the best of my knowledge.

Frankly, I’m surprised a Scottish girl new that much about country music, and musicians from Texas. Turns out, Waylon Jennings sang the song. He is not from Lukenbach. She is right, tho, he did live in Lubbock. I can barely remember the song, now that I have seen the lyrics. Some information about Lukenbach:

“Hondo Crouch, local rancher and regional folk hero bought Luckenbach in 1970 when he saw an ad in the paper “town- pop.3- for sale.” Luckenbach became this poet – sage’s stage where he held the first Women’s Only Chili Cook-off, a World’s Fair (because he proclaimed Luckenbach as the center of the Universe) & Return of the Mud Dauber Day (as do swallows in Capistrano).

After Hondo died in 1976 his music making friends penned the song “Luckenbach Texas” which was recorded by Waylon Jennings and Willie Nelson in 1978. The song, now a classic, became a number one smash hit all across the nation and beyond putting Luckenbach on the map for good.”

Oh come on, you know you wanted to know! If I have a son, I am seriously considering naming him Hondo.

I’m adopting. Yes, it’s true. I am going to become a parent. TO A BAT!!! That’s right, I’ve adopted a Grey Headed Flying Fox. I can hardly wait until I get my “endearing letter” from my bat! I’m so excited. I will be sure to update you when news of my bat arrives. Surely this will be the event, or purchase, that will fill that aching, longing, empty feeling I have, right?

So all of you having babies out there… Ha! Take that! I have a BAT!!

Meanwhile, this frightens me, I took a quiz, to find out what kind of bat I would be…

Yesterday, when I was driving home from work, I felt certain that someone must have slipped some funny mushrooms in my lunch. Because everything was so beautiful. The lake was so dark blue and deep, I wanted to jump off the bridge and go swimming. I didn’t, because I would have had to stop the car, which would have blocked one of only two lanes of eastbound traffic. Also, you should know, this is a floating bridge, so it’s not like I was high up I would have killed myself. However, the current was coming towards the bridge on my side and it could have slammed me up against some concrete, splitting my head like a coconut. So, not worth it. The greens were more saturated, the sky was clear and I could see every single mountain range, clear as day. Including Mount Rainier. It was so clear, I felt I could touch it. I’m fairly certain I saw deer. Of course, they looked like the ants that an ant would have at his picnic. If they had picnics.

So, what do you think? Funny mushrooms in my lunch? or was I just looking at things through a Photoshop filter.

Tomorrow’s 50 word fiction theme is: hearts.