Category Archives: books

books

Henceforth and from now on, I decree that whenever something bad happens to me, there shall be bunnies around.

After work today, Louise and I ate comfort food at Johnny Rocket’s and worked on the review for Down on Ponce, for Satan’s Bookclub. I was struggling. Never wrote a book review before. Usually, I just talk shit about stuff. Now I was trying to write a review, and BAMF… nothing. We made progress and I’m going to let it simmer over night and take a look at it again, in the morning.

Then we went to Barnes and Noble. *grin* I bought some new books to read. A Factory of Cunning by Philippa Stockley and Devil in a Blue Dress by Walter Mosley. I don’t know which one to start first. Of course, I am also re-reading Lamb, as it is the book selection for the bookclub of Satan. [In case any of you were thinking about joining in.] It’s one of my favorites, so it’s no hardship.

And so ends a tiny bit of book news, from an otherwise uneventful day.

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books

One adorable little girl and a perfectly acceptable little boy…

Once upon a time there was a single Mom with two adorable children. Between the two, the little girl was definitely the more adorable, not to mention smart and witty. And very practical, for a five year old.

The single Mom met a Teacher, and they began dating. The Teacher was always over at the house, having dinner with the Mom and the two adorable children. At the end of the evening, the Teacher said his goodbyes, as he readied to return to his own home. The little girl thought this was silly. He was here all the freakin’ time. He even corrected her table manners! So she said, “Why don’t you just spend the night? My mom has a HUGE bed, there’s plenty of room.”

The single Mom looked away with a slightly embarrassed grin on her face. The Teacher’s grin was less embarrassed and he said that maybe one night, he would see if he could sleep over. Eventually, the single Mom and the Teacher got married. And the little girl was doomed to hear this story repeated over and over for the rest of her life.

The little girl grew up and the family lived happily every after. Until they got divorced. And the little girl decided that maybe marriage wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and she had it right in the first place. It’s better just to invite boys to spend the night.

The End


ps: not that the little girl was ever sorry that her mom married the Teacher.

pps: the adorable little girl is currently doing her best to avoid a book review that is not going well.

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books

Yeah, snarky, you know, from the ancient Greek, meaning butt head.

I told myself that I could go hang out in Barnes and Noble, when I finished my review of “Down on Ponce” for Satan’s Bookclub. But instead I am taking personality tests that I got from Suzy. By the way, “hanging out in Barnes and Noble” is code for “grabbing a large stack of books, sitting in one of the comfy chairs, browsing through them and leaving, after buying some or all of them.” I am having trouble with my review because a: I’ve never written one and it is not coming naturally to me and b: “Down on Ponce” is really hard to sum up and/or describe. What will most likely happen is, I will work on the review, but not finish, and go to Barnes and Noble anyway. Because I’m weak. And spoiled. And lacking in discipline. And a bunch of other fun things….

Your Inner European is Dutch!



Open minded and tolerant. You’re up for just about anything.

Who’s Your Inner European?

You Are a Snarky Blogger!



You’ve got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.

And that’s why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

Seriously? Are bloggers scared of me? That’s awesome. Grrrrr

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books

Comment problems

Weird comment problems on all my blogs. You may receive “precondition failed” errors. That means you used a naughty word like “sexy.” I’m working on getting it fixed.

The first bookclub selection has been chosen, over at Satan’s Bookclub. I’ve also added two mail lists for bookclub info and review announcements. Check it!

If you would like to participate in tomorrow’s 50 word fiction, please do! A challenge has been issued, however. The story must use the word “prurient.”

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books, movies and tv, pru, work

Fallen, fallen is Babylon the great….

Mark Morford’s article this morning depressed me. I mean, he’s still my new boyfriend and all, but it was still a downer. I came home from work, read it, and immediately had to go hide under my covers and hum softly to myself. Eventually, Pru came and sat on me, and I felt better. So I got up, took a nice long bath, got something to eat, and then watched Revelations. Which is about, naturally, the End of Days. So I can’t type long, because I’m going to have to go back under my covers in a minute. It’s a good thing I’m not diagnosed with depression or anything. Or have a bookclub in Satan’s name. ummm…

Today was my first Stability Ball class, the exercise class I signed up for, which so shocked the world. Turns out, I’m not very stable, kids. I already knew that. I spent some time on the floor…. it’s hard to not just roll right off that so-called “stability” ball. The teacher said things like “Now for you, let’s just concentrate on staying on the ball, we’ll work on form later,” to me. Tessa was on the ball next to me, but Louise was across the room, and she was struggling as much as I was. The teacher would demonstrate the next exercise, Louise, slightly behind her, would make a horrible “you are fucking joking, right?” face, Tessa and I would start to giggle, and the teacher asked if she was going to have to separate us. I think we’ve talked one of my favorite ex-managers to sign up as well. We need a fourth for when we partner up. The worst part was, for warm ups today, we did squat thrusts. SQUAT THRUSTS!! I haven’t done that since 8th grade PE class when the coach decided it would be fun to pretend we were all in boot camp, and had us do hundreds upon hundreds of calisthenics like squat thrusts, push ups, sit-up and chin ups. And then made us run. Fun. But eventually, he was caught cheating on his wife, the cheerleading coach over at the high school, with a girl from her soccer team, a student. So I guess he got his karmic payback for that.

Aaaanyway, I’m already feeling “it” in some muscles. Oh yeah, you really feel “it” after one of these ball workouts. No, you do. I’m not kidding. I’m already sore. Leave me alone, I’m headed back under my covers now.

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books

Firefox…. it’s FREE!!

My house is mere minutes from Microsoft’s main campus, in Redmond. I was about thisclose to driving down there and chucking rocks at it’s front door until someone came out and told me why IE for windows sucks so very very hard. Louise and I were trying to fix a problem with our three column layout on Satan’s Bookclub and Win IE. Frankly, my first inclination was to just say “fuck off IE!” I probably did a few times. I don’t have a pc to test with at home, so fixing the problem meant me trying anything I could think of and then pinging Louise on AIM and saying “look at it now!! look at it now!!” So I was going to drive down to the main campus and ask them what made them so special that they could just blow off any and all CSS compatibility? We have received sooo many comments and emails today! I don’t know where people are finding Satan’s Bookclub, but they are already stopping by. So we wanted it to work for everyoe. We fixed it. Louise had some old CSS that worked and I compared it to the new stuff and BAMF! three columns all in a row. Even in microsuck IE.

Everyone who uses IE… switch to Firefox now. I have two words for you, two words that will forever change the way you deal with the internet. Those words are “tabbed browsing.” Trust me.

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books

the plan..

should you chose to accept it, is to get Satan’s bookclub up on Friday morning. [or late thursday night] so everyone can click the little links and make little fake comments in the fake entries and check everything out. make sure it’s working all right. i will finish a book review over the weekend. maybe louise will too. [she’s been sick sick sick. for weeks. it’s the consumption, probably. for a scottish girl, she’s very fragile. a frail hothouse flower, as we like to say.] And then it will be for real live, and ready for pimpin’, on monday.

that is the plan and i am sticking to it. i found an acceptable cheat/ work around for CSS’s shortcomings. so, the rest is just detail work. it shall be my number one priority until it’s done. except for napping. and work… i’m trés busy at work. there are a couple of other things that might come up… but it’s right up there. with a bunch of really important priorities. definitely before flossing my teeth and eating my vegetables.

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books, evildeb, macs

We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking.

Today was a different kind of day for me. I feel like my emotions have been turned up high the last week. And today was a veritable potpourri of feelings. Most of which I shall keep to myself. But some of them you are going to have to hear about, mes pommes de terre d’Internet. But first, I want to clarify a few things.

  1. That picture up in the corner, of the girl on the computer, is not meant to represent me, in the strictest sense, any more than the swinging girl used to. I edited her to give her more of a me-ness. I gave her my fair swedish/norwegian/irish/scottish skin. I lighted her hair to be more like mine. I changed the colors of her clothes, desk and chair, and I changed her glasses, which were black with blue lenses. My glasses are green. I am not a tall, willowy, vector stick. I could go on the South Beach diet, the Atkins diet and the Zone diet all at once, and I ain’t ever going to be willowy. Or tall. My people are a curvier people. We are not meant to walk the catwalk in strange designer couture. We are meant to lounge on chaise lounges, and have cute boys brings us drinks on silver trays. Also, my boobies are bigger. HA! take that vector stick.
  2. I’d like to thank Evildeb for letting me mess with her identity and portray her in almost any manner I see fit. She is remarkably accepting that way. For someone so evil.
  3. No matter what she says, Fee does actually like me.
  4. Thomas has a wonderful way of taking something you think is a hang up, and making it sound rare and wonderful. Thank goodness for chat logs.

Oh, and Matt from DC is totally in love with me. I discovered that chatting with him last night. it’s not surprising, really. We have some shockingly similar traits. We are both funny, we both like macs and hate pc’s, we both prefer bookstores to smokey bars. But it’s not meant to be. He’s east coast Washington, I’m west coast. He’s got a bird, I’ve got a cat. He’s mountain dew and I’m Dr Pepper. He likes to be active and exercise, I like to take naps. He wants children, and I still behave as tho I were a child myself. Not to mention he is young and studying to be a lawyer and I’m old enough to be his babysitter! It’s probably pretty natural to have a crush on your babysitter. Do little boys grow up thinking fondly of their babysitters? Not me, they didn’t.

“Ok, maggots, it’s time to go to bed.”

“But mommy says that we don’t have to go to bed until the clock on the microwave says eight, three, oh. See, it doesn’t say that. That’s a seven and that’s a five…”

“I know I know! But see, the microwave is messed up. Yeah, I messed it up when I was heating up the pizza. Here, I’ll fix it. See? eight, three, oh.”

“But we don’t want to go to bed yet, we want to stay up and watch movies with you!”

“I know, sweetie, and as much as I’d like to watch Jungle Book for the 4th time tonight, I have to study. Believe me, I don’t want to study. I would rather watch movies with you.”

“What is that you are studying?”

“Errrr… history. I have to read this book tonight and find out if this guy here, he’s Rafe Sterling, the King of the … Pi-RA-tes. Yes, King of the Pirates. I need to find out if he ever wins the battle against this woman here, the cold and icy Princess Melody. Currently a resident of Prudytown on the Virgin Islands. But not for long. Now come on… head upstairs before I break out my Mad Babysitter voice!”

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books, evildeb, pru

Go to google, type in “vibrator cozy knitted”

and look who’s number one!



and I don’t even know how to knit! I’m so proud. How disappointed people will be, if they come looking for a pattern. I’m sorry knitters! I didn’t mean any harm!

Distracted I was from finishing up Satan’s Bookclub. Intending I am to get it up on April 1st. Thinking I was that it would be 12:01 am, but realizing I am that it will be later in the day. I’m still looking for something I want to put up there. Don’t know why I started talking like yoda. The first sentence just came out that way and I went with it.

Pru’s freaking out, I’m going to go chase her with q-tips. Before I go, an ironic quote from Evildeb today:

“I’m going to put my headphones on!! You guys are so annoying with your talking!”

Now everyone leave me happy, positive comments and explain to me why I feel the need to document every tiny insignificant piece of crap in my life online? And I mean crap in a good way, but sometimes I wonder about me. You know?

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