Category Archives: Canada

Canada, Immigration, William

Liar Liar Pants

Last week, we kept getting phone calls from “Private Caller”, with no number displayed. They were very persistent. Both Wil and I are … hesitant to answer the phone when we don’t know who it is. I have had too many years of scary bad credit. And both of us too much time spent doing phone technical support to ever trust that any phone call is not going to come with a time consuming request. Plus, we were busy. Playing World of Warcraft. 

After the 10th call that day, I answered the phone. Recently, I had been victim to Roger’s willingness to give out my home number to one of the “authorized” retail partners. They called and called and called. We ignored them. (I would pick up the phone and say “Hello-two-three” and hang up. A trick I learned dealing with afore mentioned horrible credit. If you don’t answer in 3 seconds, chances are I don’t want to talk to you. ) Finally requested to be removed from these lists. So when a woman I didn’t know asked for me, some kind of paranoid instinct kicked in and I said I wasn’t home. I don’t know why. I tried to take a message, and that’s when she said she was calling from the CIC. Canadian Immigration. 
I freaked out. What was I supposed to do now? Backtrack and admit I lied and that I was home. Explain to her about the near harassment level of sales pitches we’ve been getting because of our wireless contracts? Hope she thought it was funny. I couldn’t admit to Immigration that I had lied to them, even in such a benign manner, and it was totally innocent and benign, albeit extremely paranoid! So I carried on. She said she would call Jodi’s representative, I said I would tell Jodi they called and hung up. Then I ran in to the room and woke Wil up from his nap to tell him that I LIED TO IMMIGRATION and that was going to hell and no way were they gonna let a liar in to the country. Because lies are the first step to terrorism, right? 
Turns out my lawyer had made a few mistakes on the form and they just needed some corrections. But it means they are, at last, processing my application. 
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Canada, movies and tv, William

Oh god! Oh god! Bobbies! We are NOT watching this. I’m sorry about the boobies.

One of my favorite things about Canada is their attitude towards adult content on tv. Basically, after 10 pm, it’s your responsibility to make sure your kid doesn’t hear the F word or see bare breasts. There is a content warning after each commercial break, warning you about content, but that’s it. I love that. We are so prudish in the States. (See J. Jackson’s Nipple v. The United Priggish States of Football Watching America for further evidence.)

But the truth is, I’m not a parent. I don’t have to worry about anything. Until Wil’s daughter comes to visit. Wil and I are not used to thinking about the content of what we watch. To be honest, every single tv show on Canada seems to have a content warning of some kind after the commercial break. You become sort of immune to them. Several times this week, we were caught off guard. I wanted to watch a show about a housewife with multiple personality disorder, as naturally a person like myself would, but on the “previously” scenes there were bare boobies and people having the tv sex. Oops.

We were looking forward to watching tv simulcast of Will Ferrell’s broadway show “Your Welcome, America: A Final Night With George W. Bush” on HBO for weeks. It was on Saturday, at 8 pm. So the three of us were sitting on the couch, watching it together. HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WOULD SHOW A PICTURE OF A PENIS???? I mean… COME ON! It’s not our fault.

If it were my kid, I wouldn’t care. By age 11, we probably already would have spoken of, and looked at pictures of, penises. For educational purposes. But I have no idea what her mother’s take on it is. I have no grasp of how mature she is about these things. The last thing I would want to do is treat a kid like an young adult before her time. For reals. That makes me sad. Other people’s kids are mine fields, you know what I mean?

I know for sure she does not know the definition of the word “muff.” Thanks for saying it 14 times in a row, Mr. Ferrell.*

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blogging, Canada, evildeb, William

Measure my booty.

The Greater Vancouver Region has a very strong Blogging/ Social Media community, which is great. I didn’t know of such a community in Seattle. In fact, I never knew any other bloggers in Seattle, sadly. I’m listed on a uberlist of bloggers in Seattle*, that’s as close as I came to knowing other bloggers. So even though I considered myself a Seattle blogger, of course, I have never really considered myself a Community Blogger. I blog about myself. So I’m very impressed with the community here in the GVR.

The other day, I was mentioning to Wil that our friends, Airdre and Kerry Anne, won Favorite Audio/ Video Podcast for their excellent beauty podcast, Lipgloss and Laptops, in the Best of 604. Very well deserved. He asked me why I didn’t win an award. Which is sweet, don’t you think? In addition to not really being heavily involved of this community, it’s quite simple. This is not my blog’s heyday.

Oh, it’s true. I know it. You may or may not know it. Blogs, like everything, have and ebb and flow. I think that once I quit my job, my blog started to ebb. Or maybe it’s flowing. I’m not sure. Either one. Man, you should have caught me sometime in 2004 or 2005. I was rocking the blogging.

I’m ok with this. It’s understandable really. If my life were one of those Family Circus cartoons, where they show what Billy or Jeffy did all day, everywhere they went, it would show little Jodi footprints running from my apartment, to the Safeway half a block away. And back. Occasionally, you’d see little feet running further down the block to the bank or London Drugs. But your chances of blog fodder decrease greatly if you never leave a 3 block radius.

Nonetheless, I did recently win two nice awards. One from Captain Dumbass of Us and Them, who lives here in the Greater Vancouver Region.

Booty

Hee! He said “booty.” One day, Captian Dumbass and I will run into each other when we are both wearing our Bad Monkey shirts. I certainly hope we aren’t compelled to fling poo.

And another from a former coworker, although I didn’t know him at the time, Good Father.

Measures Up

It’s too bad he wasn’t blogging back in the days when I was at my POE. (And we didn’t know each other) We could have had Blogging Lunches. Booked a conference room on the 2nd floor, right next to Central Services, with it’s free soda and candy jar. Remember that kid, the mail guy, who one time dyed those kick ass flames into his hair? His name escapes me, because I’m horrible with names. It starts with a “D.” He’s worked there about 20 years by now, I figure. I hope he’s still there. And the last big formal Christmas party we had, right before the dot com bust? We had different international themed rooms for the dinners. Oh man, I got DErunk that year. I did it for Evildeb. She was pregnant with AlmostCertainlyGoingToEndUpEvilMaggie, and was sad she could not “party.”

Anyhoo, I like these awards. They are übercomments from two readers saying “I like you. Or at least your blog.” And that’s all the reward I really need. ** I know that one day my blog will cease to ebb and start to flow again.

* I suppose I should remove myself, but I’m not gonna. I still consider myself a Seattle blogger. I’m just… North of Seattle, is all. Very very north.

** ok, I suppose all awards are really saying that.

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Canada

You’d be surprised how simple it is to turn my frown upside down.

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In the 18 months I have lived in Canada full time, I believe Red Vines have been the No. 1 item requested from visitors of the States*. Please, bring me red vines!! I have looked for them constantly. It’s automatic now, I glance at the licorice sections of every store that carries candy. Without even thinking about it. I have never found them. Never.

Until today. If I had been in the middle of a conversation, I would have been rendered speechless. (I was alone, so I was already not utilizing speech.) I gasped. I stood there entranced. I picked up a bag and held it to my heart. I’ve always felt that London Drugs was a fairyland of miracles. (You can buy a MacBookPro there. At a DRUG STORE. It’s awesome.)

The best part? they rung up as American Vines.

“Oh HELL yeah!”

“I’m sorry?”

“Nothing. I’m fine. It’s just the vines…. from America…”

*I’m not sure what #2 is, possibly Pickapeppa Sauce, or stuff from Bath and Bodyworks. Or an entire Target store.

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Canada, Cooking and food, William

Happy Thanksgiving Canada!

We are not having a Thanksgiving Dinner. I made one last year in October, but not November. I think this year I will make one in November.

  • A: Thanksgiving dinner is a lot of work.
  • B: Wil doesn’t care about the holiday and try as I might, I just cannot feel Thanksgivingy in October. On a Monday. Before my birthday and Halloween.

a – b = no Thanksgiving Dinner. We are having a special dinner. I bought two out-of-our-budget steaks, which are now marinating in a chipotle tabasco sauce. And while I did not make a pie, I bought one. I caved. But you’d better believe we’ll be thankful for those steaks.

Since it is Thanksgiving, and my birthday is in one week, I have decided to play a game called I’m So Grateful for that this week. The fact is, the world’s been bringing me down lately. Everywhere you turn it seems gloomy and doomy. The banks, the economy, the environment, the landfills, the immigration issues, the housing crisis, Sarah Palin, our crappy apartment, and I’m getting really sick of Stephen Harper’s face. I’m afraid my thinking has been very negative and pessimistic. And that’s not good for me. I know the warning signs.

So I’m going to force myself to think more positively. Every day I’ll try to turn my thinking around. Today I’ll start small with just mentioning how grateful I am to have food on my table and a warm house in which to eat it. And the kittens. And whipped cream in a can, love that stuff, eternally grateful for that. With a grand finale of why I Am So Grateful to turn 41 on the 19th. It’s going to take me a week to figure that one out.

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Canada, William

Leaving Town

Wil and I are leaving town for a few days, and we aren’t going to have internet access.
GASP! No, it’s true. We are spending some time on the coast and there is no internet access and no phone. There’s a TV because we aren’t CRAZY.
In the meantime, here are my new granny glasses.
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I know what you are thinking, no so different from the old glasses.

But you are wrong cuz these are PROGRESSIVE. And metal frames, rather than plastic.

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Canada

Immigration

Last night I sent out a tweet complaint about my immigration lawyer. I’m so frustrated with her right now, I want to scream. In lieu of a scream I sent a tweet.

Someday, I am going to tell the story if my immigration, starting from spring of 2007, ending whenever it ends. For some reason, I am not comfortable blogging about it now. Maybe once I am landed.

In the meantime, witness my silent scream of frustration. That’s all I can say right now.

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Canada, William

Happy My Anniversary to You!

Some say, and by some I think it’s probably Hallmark, that the first wedding anniversary is the Paper Anniversary. But in this family, it’s the Electronic Anniversary.

We are sitting on the couch after our fancy dinner at Pinky’s Steakhouse, playing with Wil’s anniversary present. (It’s a PSP, in case you can’t tell) We are still on the waiting list for my present. Should have one by Tuesday. Black. 16GB. Oh yeah, you know what I’m getting.

Anniversary

Since it’s my anniversary, I just want to say, officially, my husband rocks and I loooOOOooove him to pieces.

Happy Anniversary, baby!

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Canada

iPhone, but do you phone?

Well, there is lots of excitement and anticipation in the air as Apple releases their 3G iPhone on Friday. I don’t even know what 3G is, I just know it’s better. Many Americans and weighing their options, deciding whether or not to upgrade.

Here in Canada, it’s a bit different. First, the iPhone is coming to Canada for this first time. (I know some Canadians already have one, unlocked and working with their provider, but that’s different.) So… that’s exciting. But something is raining on the iPhone parade. Rogers Wireless. That is the service provider for the iPhone, here in Canada.

Traditionally, Canadians have one of the most expensive wireless plans in the world. Notoriously bad. I think that the hope was, as negotiations wore on between Rogers and Apple, the result would be improved rates all around, for everyone. However, a couple of weeks ago, Rogers released the iPhone plan pricing. And all hell broke loose. It sucks, to put it plainly.

The main things that I notice are – required 3 year contract and very limited data plan. Bad. Expensive. Unfair. You can read a more in depth analysis of the problem here. Canadians are in an uproar. Rogers now has a major PR problem. There are rumors that Apple is pissed, and has is diverting some of the shipment to Europe, because they anticipate poor sales. And people are not only planning to boycott the iPhone through Rogers, but they’ve started petitions as well.

I’ve been going back and forth about the iPhone. I want one. I really really really really want one. However, I don’t need one. And the plan upsets me. I’m on some kind of waiting list at a Roger’s outlet. But I honestly do not know what to do. I don’t think the rates are fair (do American cell phone companies charge a monthly $6.95 access fee? Or does this just seem outrageous to me?). And , when it boils right down to it, I don’t need to be spending money on such things.

But I want one. I really really really want one. Which side will win out? Hedonism or Practicality? You know me, what do you think?

Time will tell.

PS I really want one.

EDIT TO ADD. What I forgot to mention is, as bad as the Canadian plan is, Australia’s is actually worse. Where exactly does The Man live? Because I think we need to stick it to him on this.

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