I was just sitting in the living room, watching the Incredibles with my stepdad, I’m pretty sure there were spiders in there. I could hear them. The poison is creeping through my body.. I can feel it… I should probably lie still.
I regret to inform you that, therefore, I’m fairly certain I will not be able to go to work tomorrow.
*flop*
Remember the time I was freaking myself out, reading about poisonous snakes? Well, I just spent about twenty minutes reading about poisonous spiders. I’m not afraid of snakes, but I am afraid of spiders. I tried to convince myself I wasn’t, but it didn’t work. And now, it never will because I was reading about the Hobo Spider, which is also known as THE AGGRESSIVE HOUSE SPIDER!! [don’t look to that website for the truth about spiders, it’s one of those ZOO websites. They always take the side of the animal] You know, people used to laugh at me, when i told them that spiders would jump straight for your neck, if you got too close. But look at that! That spider is so aggressive, they named it aggressive!! It’s bite can rot your flesh. People used to blame it’s evil demonic bite on the brown recluse spider. Guess where the hobo spider lives, when it’s here in the United States. Go on… guess! That’s right, Seattle. There is probably an aggressive house spider living at the foot of my bed right now. it’s going to eat my toes.
Arifa says they only live in the houses of bad people. That’s probably true, right? Uff da.
Serious bonus points for today’s title.
Not that I am planning on moving or anything.
Gov. Rod Blagojevich approved an emergency rule Friday requiring pharmacies to fill birth control prescriptions quickly after a Chicago pharmacist refused to fill an order because of moral opposition to the drug.
Link from This is Not Over.
Cost of postcard postage to Canada – 50 cents. Entertainment derived from anonymously sending a complete stranger a postcard pretending to be a squirrel? Priceless. I have no idea why I do some of the things I do, believe me. But given the fact that I’ve done it, how weird is it that DrinkJack sent me a picture of a squirrel?
Ok, I did something today that I think may shock some of you. I apologize in advance. I don’t want to upset you. But, after I came back from running an errand this afternoon, I… well… you see…. I WORKED OUTSIDE IN THE YARD! shhhh… don’t be scared. It was freaky for me too. Actually, it was not so much the yard as the driveway. Over the past week we’ve had a lot of rain and wind storms. My driveway was covered in twigs, branches, needles and pine cones. Today was really the first day without rain, so I swept the driveway. It’s not a huge driveway, but it does curve to the side so it’s larger than one of those regular driveways. Normally, Ron uses a leaf blower to clean off the driveway. But it needs servicing. It’s got no blow, right now. Only Ron is patient enough to use it. I just wanted to clear off the driveway, not eat off it. So I used a large broom. I did it by hand!
Afterwards I was totally done in, so I had to come inside and read books. Speaking of which, I got a package in the mail today, well, yesterday actually, from England. Yes! How exotic. Elle sent me a book about Lord Byron. Except, in this book, Lord Byron is Vampire!! Oooooo… she knows how I love a good vampire story. Why shouldn’t Lord Byron be a vampire? It fits. And the book has the price in pounds on it! Trés European.
Stupid daylight savings time starts tonight. I hate losing an hour. Anything that deprives me of precious weekend time or sleeping time is not okay.
hey kids. Just spoke to my little brother, he’s doing great! I can’t believe how well he’s doing. What a lucky boy. First, for having me as a sister. And then second for that whole doing great after having a truck smash into his fragile vegan bones and knock him out of the crosswalk, down the street and through the door of a 7-11. But mostly for having me as his sister. Speaking of 7-11… a slurpee sounds good right about now.
So, I’m just working on Marie’s blog redesign and SBC and listening to Shake the Shack on KEXP. I wish I wish I wish that their stream fed the title and artist to iTunes. So I could hit the little iTunes button in Ecto and let you know I am listening to Girls On Dope by Sonoramic Commando. Man, I love Shake the Shack.
Anyway, yes, working on websites. So feel free to come bug me online if you are around. If you hurry, you can head over to KEXP and listen to Little Ramona (Gone Hillbilly Nuts) by BR5-49. Or just go listen to one of the archived shows.
Now send me funny things. I need funny things.
Intruder by the Surfcoasters
9:40:33 matt from dc: what?!
9:40:53 matt from dc: you have to put it back up
9:41:12 matt from dc: it was wonderful material and it got 7 comments!
9:41:17 matt from dc: and it featured ME!
9:41:20 matt from dc: you can’t take it down!
9:41:31 jodiferous: oh. now we find out what is really bothering you.
9:41:43 matt from dc: now i am nothing
9:41:49 jodiferous: hang on…
9:41:52 jodiferous: i can fix that.
9:41:54 matt from dc: just a guy who followed a link
Every once in a while, I get this song stuck in my head, it’s something I remember from the very very early days of Mtv. Back when they played anything and anyone who made a video. Nobody ever knows what I am talking about, when I mention this song, no one ever sings along. Well, it’s stuck in my head this morning, and I thought, "Hey, you should check the internet, see if it’s out there!" So I did, and it is, and you can even download it from the band’s website.
So, please, sit back and enjoy Blotto’s "I want to be a lifeguard." Listen to it enough times and you can sing along with me, the next time it is stuck in my head.
do NOT try to podcast using the iSight mic, it will not work.
Today I ran into my oldest friend Julie, out on the intraweb. I was signed into an AIM ID I had not used for years, it was the only one she knew about, and she found me. Thank goodness. I met Julie when I moved from Grand Junction Colorado, to Tulsa Oklahoma. The day after my 13th birthday. Or, as I like to call it, “the worst day of my life so far at 13.” Except for Julie, of course. Union Jr. High was not a particularly welcoming place. And I was well known back in Colorado, had plenty of friends.
Julie and I have not been in touch for about 3 or so years. But at one point, she knew ALL my secrets. There are probably some new ones now, we’ll need to catch up. In high school, we used to talk on the phone all the time, we did our hated algebra homework on the phone, me putting her on hold while I went and asked my stepfather for help. We studied for tests on the phone, which is to say, we avoided studying tests on the phone. After high school, I left Oklahoma and she stayed. I used to write her long letters, full of absolute crap, not unlike what you read here every day. But longer! I was an excellent letter writer. Now she is married and has two kids, and I’m still emotionally the same age I was when I left Oklahoma.
Back then, there was one word I would say that would always make her laugh. It’s a perfectly ordinary word. I still, to this day, do not understand what is so funny about the way I say it. But I told her, I would record myself saying it and post it up here. Which proved to be more difficult than I anticipated. Audioblog hates this mp3 I managed to smash together with duct tape and spit. So we’ll do it the old fashion way. Oh, and for those of you who are experiencing my melodious voice for the first time, I swear, despite how it sounds, and despite my behavior, I am not 12 years old. i am an adult. Honest!
From This is Not Over:
Pharmacists are refusing to fill prescriptions for birth control pills and morning after pills.
Can someone please tell me, who’s country am I living in?
Today’s title has absolutely nothing to do with my life right now, other than I wanted to share my favorite Dogma quote with Romy. I worship air conditioning. It is one of my favorite things in life. It’s right up there with Dr. Pepper from a fountain and my cat. And other things that are also “up there.” I have dreams about a/c. About the a/c we had in the house in Tulsa, the vent was right under my bedroom window. I had really tall windows that went down nearly to the floor, with long white curtains. When the a/c would come on, they’d billow out… sigh. I love the sound of air conditioning. The house in Grand Junction had a swamp cooler. It worked best when the back door was open a crack. I don’t know why, I don’t question the genius that is air conditioning. We don’t have a lot of a/c in homes around here. They say you don’t need it in the Pacific Northwest. But they are full of crap!
Speaking of crap, I had Easter Brunch with the family this morning. It was delicious [not crap!] When my mom got married last spring, she inherited a 9 year old granddaughter. This kid is, as they say, a pip. She learned right away not to believe a single word my uncle Jim says. She doesn’t believe I am as old as I am. Both by my looks and, mostly, by my behavior. Not having any kids, I have seen little reason to grow up. So we have about the same maturity level. Her birthday is a week, and I imagine she’ll start out growing me soon. We found out today that she was caught using a bad word. And you could tell she didn’t want her mom to tell us what it was. But I had to know, because I love bad words! Finally, her mom mouthed the word “crap.” Crap? Crap is a “bad word?” Really? That’s nothing! Crap is well…. it’s a pretty crap bad word, that’s for sure. I know for a fact that I developed a potty mouth early on. And I went far beyond “crap.” My mouth was washed out with soap once. That wasn’t really Pattie’s style, so maybe we were just giving a try for curiosity’s sake. When I was living in Tulsa, we went to church regularly, and my youth group [jr. high age] had a little cheer we used to yell, that I remember to this day. We learned this cheer at a regional youth retreat in Dallas. It went, and I quote:
bish bish bam bam!
son of a bitch, god damn!
highty tighty christ o’mighty
raw raw fuck!raw once, raw twice
holy jumpin’ jesus christ
awwwww.. SHIT!
Of course, I grew up a Unitarian, so we didn’t get in trouble until we started yelling it near the little kids. Unitarians can take the Lord’s name in vain all they want, if it’s part of their Spiritual Journey. Unitarians kick ass.
Pattie had put little plastic eggs near everyone’s plate, with questions inside. [That is so Pattie’s style] Usually, Uncle Jim, Pseudo-Aunt Pat, and I poo-poo any serious Sharing of Feelings at family gatherings. [so did my step-dad, back in the day]. We carry the “Irreverent” gene rather than the “sharing” gene. Mine was not bad this year, if I could have another life after this one, who or what would i chose to be. Duh… Wonder Woman. Or maybe Catwoman. [I admit, I have a dark side.] Pseudo-Aunt Pat got “would you consider e-harmony in your search for a new relationship.” I was shocked I did not get that one! [I would then have remarked “what search?” ] Then Pattie, disappointed, said “Bob wouldn’t let me give you that one.” Smart man, Bob… well played.
