last night i went to the mall, on my way home from work, to pick up the latest sims expansion pack for the mac, superstar, and fondle it at the apple store. as i was walking through nordstrom, i was thinking about my paternal grandparents, and what i could possibly get them for xmas. they live in sun city arizona, in an assisted living apartment. they are in their late 80’s, and not well. grandma pulls an oxygen tank around with her, because she’s got emphysema, and she has trouble reading due to glaucoma. also, she’s a bit loopy now. earlier this year, she got very sick, and it was determined she was not drinking enough water, she was very dehydrated. we can barely get her to drink teaspoons!! granddad has a bum need to arthritis, and his mobility is cut down to the point of needing a walker for short distances, and an electric cart for longer distances. he’s in constant pain, but can’t have surgery because he wouldn’t survive it. yesterday, he fell and went back into the hospital. he didn’t break anything, but he can’t put weight on that leg, so they are going to do an mri today. faye, my stepmom, says that i wouldn’t even recognize him, he just seems lost most of the time.
this january, we are coming up on the 10 year anniversary of my father’s death. their son. and i think that’s what really did them in. they never seemed to recover from it. my dad and stepmom were very very close to my grandparents. and this wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen. for any of us. he wasn’t supposed to go before them. and he wasn’t supposed to go when my little brother was only 12. and he definitely wasn’t supposed to leave before he could retire and travel the world with faye. and he wasn’t supposed to leave me. but he did. and it really took the wind out of my grandparents sails.
how do you buy a xmas present for people in this stage of life? they can’t do anything … they are too limited or in too much pain. is it bad to almost wish they could lay down, on their little twin beds and just be out of pain and sadness? that when they go, they go together, in their sleep, and in peace?

Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

hey!
loon made her own christmas quiz… you should take it.

You’re a doggy chew toy. You’re durable, rubbery
and get chewed on a lot. Well, two out of three
ain’t bad.

What Sucky Christmas Present Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
gotta love those stickmen!

since lisa commented on my sucky book entry in the form of a rebuttal, i feel i must reply to her in the same manner.
“Jodi, you ignorant slut.
“The Hunger” (1983) was first a novel by Whitley Strieber but was also a kick-ass movie staring Catherine Deneuve, David Bowie and Susan Sarandon, and Cate and David were VAMPIRES! Also, there’s a super cool scene of Sarandon and Deneuve making out. Dude, any movie where David Bowie is playing a vampire is double plus good with me. Even more fun is the opening scene which features a Goth club, in which the young Goths are being hunted by vamps, and Bauhaus is singing “Bella Lugosi’s Dead” live at the club.
Sadly, this movie is not available from Netflix, but if you find it at the local video store, check it out.”
did i not mention it was a movie? i believe i did. it matters not to me that it’s a movie. i am talking about the book here. and the book SUCKED ASS. i’m sorry, it did. i could barely stand it. i skipped a huge part of the middle, and skimmed the last third. i wouldn’t say it’s the worst book i’ve ever read, that was probably The Shipping News. at least, it’s the book that made me actually scream, “this book sucks so hard!” in reality, the shipping news won awards and was also made into a movie. but the book was painful. and i threw it into the woods while camping, in hopes that a bear would come along and use it for toilet paper. i probably would have done the same thing with the hunger, except it was a library book. thankfully. which means none of my hard earned money was wasted on it.
just because it has vampires in it, doesn’t mean it’s good.
i’m a very intelligent slut, i’ll have you know

so, my new thing is… i want to be telekinetic. i used to want to be clairvoyant. or maybe read minds. but, i really don’t care that much about other people’s opinions anymore. wheeee! it’s so freeing. now i just want to be able to move really big shit with my mind. i started thinking about this about two weeks ago, when i went to the barnes and noble in crossroads center. there was a big ol’ fuck off truck, a dodge ram i think, and it was taking up not one, not two, not even three, but four parking spots. and that just pisses me off so much! it’s so freaking rude! i just wanted to pick up his truck and move to the other side of the shopping center. or the roof of the shopping center. something. you know? and since then, i see dozens of reasons every day why i need to be telekinetic.
so this is my question… if you are telekinetic, can you fly? because, if you can move things with your mind, you could probably pick yourself up and move yourself in a flying type direction, right? because i would so love to be able to fly, as well. that would rule.
i’ve been listening to this internet radio station, through iTunes lately, called The Green Lounge. which plays “space age, latin, torch singers, exotica, acid jass, balladiers, las vegas lounge.” and no commercials. it doesn’t interfere too much with my working or writing. i like it. you kind of have to understand that a lot of this music i grew up with, having musicians in the family. but the best part is, sometimes they will have some song played on an organ, no singing. and it totally reminds me of my grandmother grace, and her organ. which she used to play all these old songs, with all the extra bells and whistles and foot pedals. i was so sad when she had to sell the organ, when they moved into an assisted living apartment. it was a classic from the early 70’s at least. maybe even late 60’s. it was HUGE. if i could have afforded to ship it up from arizona, i would have taken it. too kitsch! talk about your space age latin lounge music. i’ll try to find a picture of it and post it up here.

thanks to judes…

You are smart and sexy!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your element is Air. You are an artistic person
with a unique sense of style. You are
intelligent; although prone to wonder in
thought which, prevents you from paying full
attention to most things, constantly active and
most likely like to sing. Constantly moving the
air is a force of nature. One moment you can be
a breeze the next a tornado.

What’s your element
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Post-Hypnotized Peter

What Office Space character are you?
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since you asked, i shall tell you which books sucked. one of them was not available to me on the allconsuming.net list. it’s called “the hunger” by whitley streiber. or strieber. can’t remember. anyway, this book was made into a movie a long time ago. with catherine deneuve, for pete’s sake. but it’s baaaad. it’s just poorly written. it’s … disjointed. i don’t know any other way to discribe it. and the reactions of the characters is like … i kept thinking to myself “hey… people don’t have emotins this stilted and random. robots don’t even have emotions this abrutive and chaotic.” it was herky jerky. maybe it’s supposed to be that way. maybe it’s “stylized” and i’m supposed to be on edge. but i was really just annoyed. besides, this author also wrote a book about his real life alien abduction. so maybe that’s what is really going on here. he didn’t write the book, aliens took over his body and wrote the book. which is why i kept saying to myself “what the fuck is going on? why is she freakin’ out like that? and what the hell is getting so mad about? what’s wrong with these people?” hmmmmm…..
the other book is on my completed bookslist and it’s called “harm none.” i just felt like i had wiccan PR poured over me like syrup when i was done. and i am someone who finds alternative religion fascinating!!

i jinxed myself last week. when i was leaving work on friday, i had all these plans for the weekend. projects i wanted to work on and such. and i had a list of things i wanted to talk about, here. i even remember telling someone, in an email, that i found blogging to be addictive. which it is. and then i got home and … nothing. i had less than no inspiration. i couldn’t even get near my computer. i tried to write something a couple of times this weekend and i had bupkis. zero zilch nada.
so i read some books. and the last two books i read, or tried to read, sucked so much, that i lost my taste for THAT! which left me bored.
the following is a PSA conversation between myself and my cousin kirsten:
scene: the cheesecake factory. kirsten and i are both eating the lemon raspberry cream cheese cake. this is a layer of lemon cake, then cheesecake, then another layer of lemon cake, and the whole thing is smothered in raspberry sauce.
kirsten: oh my god….
me: mmmphmbmm…..
kirsten: mmphbosfmmm!
me: this is SO GOOD!
kirsten: so incredibly good.
me: i cannot believe how good this is… and i almost didn’t chose this flavor! sooo soo uberdelightful good.
kirsten: it’s so fucking good that you have to swear to tell how good it is.
me: uhh… ok… swear to who?

which means she took quizzes, which means i’m taking quizzes. which means YOU get to take quizzes too.

STAND UP: You are a natural stand-up comedian. You
watch the news with people, and when you give
your opinions, people start laughing. They are
not laughing at you, they are laughing because
what you say is so TRUE. The world is a very
funny place, full of natural comedy. All you do
is repeat various humorous things that you
notice from everyday life. Your unique
perspective on the world is what makes you so
funny. Of all the various comedy types, you may
be the funniest of them all!
How funny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I did it in 3 seconds.
I deserved an A++!!
Take the How Dexterous Are You? Quiz!!
although, to be fair, my first score was a B+.