we are worried about the level of hostility that you are expressing, and your constant references to oral sex. your lack of blogitivity simply shows how much you have withdrawn from society. the uberbrain is taking up a collection, and we’d very much appreciate it if you’d just sign the papers, rather than forcing us to take legal action. we’d rather spend the money on adequate therapies, and not on legal fees, however we can get the courts to rule in our favor, if need be. we are most confident in that matter. it will relect poorly upon you, if you fight this little reality, and can hamper your eventual release. it’s so much nicer when we all just agree, isn’t it?
love,
the ¸berbrain
ps: the book is called curves, and it does not mention a personal chef. although i imagine a personal chef would solve a lot of my problems. – jodi

some stumbling blocks to the low carb thing. i have a problem. two problems. i sorta forgot about them. a: i don’t cook. and when i do, it turns out badly. this could probably be remedied with practice. but b: is a stranger issue. it’s been so long since i’ve prepared anything from scratch, i’d actually forgotten about it. when i cook, i get queasy. not massively so, but what we call “alien baby” level. whatever i am cooking, with the exception of cookies, makes me queasy. and then i won’t eat it. and i admit it, anything MEAT is the worst. just having contact with it, in it’s uncooked form… ruins it for me. now, don’t go thinking i’m a closet vegetarian, cuz i’m not. i feel the same way when i make a salad. i can sit and watch you make me a steak start to finish, no problem. but if i handle the meat, if i am responsible for the cooking, i get queasy. it’s just so… fleshy.
anyway. yeah. i didn’t eat lunch because it made me ill, i didn’t eat dinner for the same reason, and i couldn’t eat my breakfast. i’m sure this is a psychological coping mechanism, which enables me to never fully grow up and take on grownup responsibilities. hey… i can’t cook, i’ll get queasy.
i’m not ready to give up. entirely. my issues with cooking can be overcome. so here is what i decided to do, the whole cooking thing was stressing me out. i’m kinda edgy right now. so, i’m not on the diet. lasted a day. lost a pound and a half. 🙂 but sandy’s advice confirmed what i already knew. you can’t cheat on this diet and get results. and i’m not at the point where i can cook and eat my own cooking for every meal. oh yeah, i am decided to do, through november, possible the holidays entirely:
– cut down on sugar. no morning dr. pepper. it’s diet dr. pepper. no candy.
– religiously drink 64 ounces of water a day. lost a whole size last year doing just that.
– find ways to incorporate more protein in my diet, to deal with carby crashes.
– cook my own dinner at least four days a week, from scratch, no frozen, until i get better, and i don’t get queasy.
– be aware of how many carbs i eat, and cut down on them. less pasta and bread.
i think that’s it for now. it sounds like a good start. i know you are probably thinking the whole queasy cooking/eating thing is crazy. but let’s not forget louise, who can only eat of plates of certain colors, or she gets queasy. that’s crazier… right? louise and i together… in a restaurant. “what color plates do you server your food on, can i see one ahead of time? btw, i hate pork. don’t bring me pork.” “look, it’s very important that my food not touch. you’ve got some vegetable medley touching my pasta. is there mayonnaise on that? i can’t eat mayonnaise… I’LL HURL!! seriously… i’ve got a note from my doctor.”
answers to some comments:
wow, sandy!! that’s amazing! and awesome! yay, you! and loon, you are correct, it is evil. they were evil cupcakes. and i pity the souls of the people who ate them. and fee… not one peep out of you about food. it’s ramadan. you are not allowed to talk about food during daylight hours. and if it’s not daylight hours, what are you doing commenting on my food, you should be eating a pile of your own food. 😛
tonight i am going to try to do something about my pathetic word count. as of yet, lucy hasn’t even been laid off from her job, or confronted her sorta boyfriend, hal, about his affair with the slutty penelope. i haven’t even finished the first plot turtle. word count? still 2,809. i didn’t write last night, i went to bed instead. i was queasy!!

or even any of those little cheap food containers you can get in the plastic sandwich bag section of the grocery store. what id o have, is lots and lots of little baggies. which will all need to be assemblied at work. hopfefully i have an allen wrench at my desk.
note: the blue cheese i bought was made by the amish, who are trying to make a living with their simple ways, so buy their cheese. i don’t know how the amish managed to ship blue cheese all the way to seattle. amish pony express?

well, i’m well behind where i wanted to be. word count is 2157.day two and i’m already behind. this morning, i was only at 557… and not very happy about the whole thing. but fee’s right, i have to remember to have fun with it, and i just wrote 1600 words. i feel much better about what i wrote tonight, than what i did yesterday. and i imagine i will kick word count ass during the week, because i tend to get more done when a: i am busy and b: at work. there is nothing like being at work to become inspired to do your own stuff.
that being said, i can’t work on my own stuff during the day… we got a talking to about a variety of sins on friday. out of all the sins that were covered, there was only one that i felt that i was completely innocent of. but i was guilty, at some level, of the others. granted, they were stated rather ambiguously and generally. but i still felt the shame. i have scheduled a meeting room for lunch, however, and mary and i are going to write.
speaking of lunch, i am currently cooking a chicken breast for my lunch tomorrow. damn it… i’m cooking!! and packing lunches? i broke out the george forman grill. this is madness, this diet. stupid diet. if they had a low carb/ high protein restaurant with a drive thru, THAT might work for me.
cooking is dumb. so are carbohydrates.

evil has breeched the sanctity of my home. i have purchased… a scale. i’ve never owned one. i’ve never brought one into my house. there always seemed to be ample places to find out how much you way. as if you’d want to know. i think we had one when i had roommates, but i can’t remember. i know my mom had one growing up. but i myself have never owned one. but i’m starting a high protein/ low carb diet tomorrow. and weighing yourself, even after you hit goal, is supposed to be part of your daily routine. neat. i’m not doing atkins. i’m doing curves. which is supposed to be similar to the south beach diet. like i care. this is the book i have, i’ve had it for months, and it’s the one that made the most sense to me. so… whatever.
i, in fact, bought two scales… i bought a food scale as well. oooooh. everything about going on this diet goes against my beliefs. well, except for the idea that everyone should eat lots of meat and cheese. that i totally agree with. but i had to PLAN OUT what i was going to eat for the week. i made until weds, which is pretty good for me. and then i had to MAKE A GROCERY LIST. a real one. the kind you stick to. what’s up with that? i spent so much freakin’ money. i’ve never spent that much money on nonpreapackaged foods or household items before. i bought meat from a butcher!! which is to say, larry’s still has that old fashioned notion of people behind a counter who know what they are talking about, helping you. it’s kind of scary to a girl like me. they have people that specialize in cheese! anyway, i had to tell a guy what i wanted, while he cut it up for me. whoa. i had a basket full of meat. i have two pork chops, three steaks, four chicken breasts [skinless], maple cut bacon, honey smoked ham and hebrew national hotdogs. i think that’s it. while i only planned out through weds, i have plenty of meat for days. and days. and days. you know what? it looks GOOOOOOD.
tonight, however, i am having cheese ravioli with butter and lemon pepper. because i’m not going to see pasta for a while.
update to be continued later tonight. …with Part 2: nanowrimo

oh man… 32 hours and 23 minutes until naonowrimo starts. actually, it’s 24 more minutes. because i can’t really start until after midnight. or can i? technically, does midnight on halloween count as Nov. 1st or Oct 31st? i do not know. i’m starting to think all my ideas suck and i am a huge failure before i begin. but it would appear, from looking at the forums, that i am not the only one.
do you think it’s a coincidence that i haven’t even been able to think of things to write in my blog? no. I’M FREEZING UP, PEOPLE!!

i am so behind in all my internet distractions. behind in reading other people’s blog. behind in all my silly yahoo mail. behind in my nanowrimo forum posting. and definitely behind on my own blog.
there are a couple of important things to say. first; bullets are my best friends.

You are Trinity, from “The Matrix.”
Strong, beautiful- you epitomize the ultimate
heroine.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
please note, i did not cheat.
secondly: loon’s latest stephanie plum stickman story is up. hooray! i know she gives me writing credit. but really, it was just a really goofy chat session. and she did all the drawing and that’s where the real emotional core of the story lies. and loon is also trinity.
aaaaand…. kam’s blog is all pretty and updated and she’s posting! hooray kam! lisa should learn from you.
is that it? i think that’s it. my cold is still here. and it makes me all spacey. it’s hard to concentrate. is it time for stouffer’s frozen macaroni and cheese yet? please? can it be lunchtime.
speaking of food, happy ramadan! as we all know, ramadan is a time for fee to fast, so don’t go offering her halloween candy until after the sun sets. ramadan started on monday and lasts for a whole month. do you think that fee will get spacier as the month goes on?

hello from home. i’m sick. i stayed home today. i have a cold. i’m not one of those people you see on tv. the ones that usually have really really stressful jobs, like deep sea fisherman in alaska or kindergarten teacher. the ones who, in great pain rub their throats or put their fingers to their temple, to indicate that they are sick or in pain. but they can’t rest. no, sir… they can’t give in. so they take a pill. and all the sudden they are able to withstand oceanic squalls. and five year olds. i hate being sick. hate it. and when i get to a certain level of sick, i shut down. and go to bed. or to couch. you know why? because THAT’S HOW YOU GET BETTER!! you don’t get better by taking cold pills and pushing yourself to continue on with your duties. you get better by resting and drinking lots of liquids and blowing your freaking nose. and applying your favorite homestyle remedies such as vitamin c or echinacia. i don’t know how to spell it, because i don’t take it. . with me, it’s orange juice. orange juice, kleenix, bed, and hot bubble baths. and aspirin. but mostly, sleep. i’m not one of those people who feels i have to deny the fact that i am sick, in order to beat it. in my experience, that makes it take longer.
of course, i like the cold pills too. but those are just delightful bonuses used in order to allow me to sleep. i was up almost all night sneezing and blowing my nose. it’s all in my head, my cold. i have a sore throat, but no coughing crap. so this morning i emailed in sick and took a cold pill and slept until noon and felt better for it. the sleep part. yesterday, i went to have brunch and i to meet bookclub for dinner, but other than that, i was couch bound. i came straight home from dinner, put my pajamas on, turned on bad WB sunday night tv, and read the Ultimate Danger Girl collection, with a forward from bruce campbell. whom i love. i’m recently a big fan of danger girl. it’s awesome.
ok. back to couch.

stealing is fun. so i’m stealing from loon this evening.

How Would YOU Take Over the World?

You are the depressed rock!
i love the zoloft rock!! i tried to get a prescription to zoloft cuz i like that rock so much. but i guess zoloft doesn’t do much for allergies.

You are an old soul writer–neither a pantser (who
writes by the seat of her pants) nor a plotter
(who plots out a book before writing it).
You’re a person who values serendipity and
spontaneity, but also realizes the benefit of
having an idea where a story is going before
you write it. You may make up an outline or
have a plan for a book, and write something
totally different, but that’s OK. You’re not
comfortable writing without having at least
some idea of where the story is going, but you
also like the freedom to change the story from
what you originally planned. You’re a born
writer who realizes the value of serendipity.

What Kind of a Writer Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
i am old soul. i have lived many previous lives. in one life, i was a tadpole, i just know it. i have tadpole type thoughts.
seriously tho… remind me to tell you about the time i won a free “past life regression” session sometime.

well, it would appear that this happens in IE 6, on windows. and that’s it. Louise and I cannot figure out why. probably because she is somewhat delusional. however, if you can use a different browswer, like mozilla, and see if that works for you, i’d appareciate it. i have posted to the moveable type forum, to see if they have any ideas.
stupid IE.