i totally forgot what i was going to say… i had the blog entry all figured out in my head just an hour or two ago. and now it’s gone. just like that. now what am going to do? just make up some boring shit? how disappointing. well, it probably wasn’t that interesting anyway, because all i did was fix the sims, customize the sims, and decorate house for the sims this weekend. you know how those damn hours just fly by when you play the sims. my current favorite is Nadija, and her manic depressive psychotic cat Oona.
i have no cute links or funny images or anything to make up for the fact i have nothing to say. i was just going to skip today, but i think that fact i have nothing to say is, in of itself, a statement about my life.
did you ever see that movie A.I.? i was just thinking about that movie last night, realizing how much i hated it, and how much it depressed me. i just sat there for about 20 minutes, hating that movie.
i will say this. i have new wonder woman socks on. they are cool.

so, the bombing has begun. officially. unofficially, they’ve been bombing my apartment for weeks. seriously, if you look at it, you can tell. shit’s everywhere! it looks like a bomb went off!
and so, i am plagued by the age old question – war, what is it good for? luckily i believe edwin provided us with the answer. good god, y’all. say it again.
the sight of the bombs, that you can watch over and over on cnn.com, are making my tummy twist. in an unhappy way. i haven’t heard about casualties in bagdad. iraqi casualties, i mean. it just makes me sad. and what’s the name of this “operation” anyway? you know, as in operation desert storm. i know we all about the shock and the awe. is that the name? operation shock and awe? because that’s dumb if it is. is that really what they are calling it? that just sounds so… pretentious. “look at meeee….are you not SHOCKED by my power? are you not in AWE of me?” *only eyes visible, peeking from behind a black cape* “do not look directly into my eyes… ahhh…it’s is too late… you are in AWE mwuahhahaa!.” i suppose it could be worse. it could be something like “operation freedom.” which would piss me off no end. let’s call it “operation freedom toast.”
it’s friday, and so i got myself a big ol’ dr pepper for lunch. because i can have AS MUCH AS I WANT on friday. don’t have to sleep tonight. it’s not necessary. i’ll get another one on my way home, too. aaaah-hahahahaaaaa!! AS MUCH AS I WANT!!
bonus points if you can tell me the source of the quote i used in the title. hint? it’s a musical.

a reader from pasadena writes, “have you cleaned your kitchen yet?” what do you think, dear internet friends. have i cleaned my kitchen yet? of course not!! i am more concerned with why my sims unleashed game is running so slowly, than in completing the task that was to result in the reward of said game. dr. stevil gave me 512mb of ram to pop into the G4, to see if that will help. and i am going through the spring cleaning process. i just have this feeling it’s going to come down to processor speed. however, tonight i am going to put away the clean dishes in the dishwasher. there aren’t many, i’ve basically taken them out as i needed them. but those that remain prevent me from putting dishes into the dishwasher. which would explain the pile in my sink. if anything, the kitchen is worse. i dug out my air popcorn popper. because i had a craving for real home made popcorn. not microwave popcorn. i wanted to melt the butter myself and apply the salt myself. when the popper was about half way through the corn i fed it, i poured the melted button on it, and started to continually stir with a spoon. that’s the way i used to do it. get everything covered nicely. but then, the air popper just died. pfftz. dead. and i was stuck with a small amount of popcorn dripping with melted butter. i ate it, of course. it was a little drippy. but come on… it’s melted and salty butter!! the air popper is still sitting on the counter. dead.
i have a couple of things to say about the state of the world today. first of all. gw bush is not my president. al gore is my president. if there was ever any question, that story, right there should prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he was meant to lead me. not bush. god i hate bush. i hate him. sigh. so i’m not going to pay attention to him. al gore is my president. and if there is something i need to do, al will tell me. or he’ll have steve job’s tell me. because in many ways, steve jobs is my lord savior!!
the second thing i have to talk about today is homeland security. i have no idea what to do about chemical warfare. so far, i think avoiding all mention of it, and pretending it does not exist is working well for me. so i am going to stick with it. however, here is a cute little ditty that helps clear things up. i know it helped me.
lisa designed a personal card for me today, and so i shall sign today’s entry with it:
JS Hamilton
Author, Princess, Font of Information
Brilliance by appointment

i think god is punishing me. or, i would think that god was punishing me, except that i don’t believe that god punishes. therefore, i am punishing myself, somehow, and blaming it on god. if god was punishing right now, he’s definitely doing it by giving us g.w. bush. not by messing with my g4.
are we at war yet? i have checked the news lately. i’m so sad and worried and disgusted and ambivalent and concerned and distracted and angry and … every emotion. i’m not sure i can be only a few emotions about it, because it would be too much. i hate everyone. well, i hate all world leaders. all of them. oy! does that make me an anarchist? ha. no. i wish we could just reboot our government with the shift key held down, in safe boot. or, i’d boot into root user of the world and replace the world leaders with mothers. women. women with no need to hurt and only to protect.
punishment. yes. my poor little g4 at home, is acting sickly. i made a deal with myself that if i cleaned the kitchen, i could buy myself a present. i decided if i cleaned my kitchen i could get the sims unleashed expansion pack. because allowing my little sims, who never go to war by the way, to have pets, would solve all my personal problems. i headed out to see shanti, to get my brows done. however, instead of then going home and cleaning the kitchen, i just went straight to the buying part of it. it does no good to make these deals with myself, because i’ll just go straight to the buying part. as long as present is promised, i’ll just get it first. so unless i decide to reward myself after i’ve already done whatever it is i don’t want to do, it’s a failed system. anyway, i had not yet installed the vacation expansion pack i’d gotten for xmas. so i installed both. and i created a new sim to concentrate on. eve. she has shaggy blond short hair, and a more curvy body. [there is slim, curvy, and a more corpulent build]. she has a simple house, without a whole bunch of decorating or objects, because i thought we’d add those as we went along. [usually, when i create a new sim, i spend way too much time decorating and buying things for the house when i first move them in. because i know the money cheat.] anyway, eve’s going to get a job soon. i took her to old towne and she adopted a grey tiger kitten named Pru. gee, i wonder where the inspiration for that came from? as soon as i get a second kitten, for pru to have company during the day, eve will get that job. however, and here is where god is punishing me for skipping the cleaning part of the bargain, the game is running soooooo slowly that it’s pretty much unplayable. it’s not bad when she’s at home, but it was nearly impossible to adopt that first kitten. she’s off doing a bunch of stuff before i can even get the game to admit i am making commands. and it takes awhile to catch up to her. after she burned down the kitchen, no one was hurt, i took eve and pru to the beach, for vacation. same problem. i can’t play the game. it’s no good. i don’t know what it is. i moved the game to the home user directory, per aspyr’s suggestion for frequent crashes, but it didn’t help. i’m going to move it to a shared directly and try logging in as a new user. see if that doesn’t help. it’s probably my processor speed. stuff is just becoming too fast for me. it may be time to upgrade the processor. i have 500mb of ram, and plenty of space. it’s the processor. guh.
my computer is having other issues as well. it may be time for an intense spring cleaning, back-up and reformat, etc. i’m much more apt to do that, then clean the kitchen, anyway. and, god gave me a cluster headache yesterday, just to make sure i understood it was bad karma to flinch on a deal, even if the deal was with yourself.

yeah, as fee said, “that is so lame about the freedom fries and freedom toast. those foods aren’t even originally french anyway. pff. stupid capital hill people don’t even know their food.” and these jackasses are running our country? what’s next? are were going to put american citizens of iraqi descent into internment camps for their “safety?” do we have to call “hamburger” salisbury steak again? fuck capital hill. i’m going to order my french fries with pride. i’m going to order my french fries in french!! je voudrais some god damn pomme frittes!! the more i think about it, the more i think that some marketing tard came up with that idea. it looks all cute and patriotic. but it’s a ignorant propaganda. and we should be proud of anything that mirrors some of our less than admirable behaviors during ww2.
i’m getting all worked up, aren’t i? that’s mostly cuz i don’t feel like working. i agree with everything i said above, i just don’t think i take it as seriously as it indicates. however, the french do love to hate us. most definitely. and they do love to protest everything we do. and maybe this is just a ploy to center them as a power in the new “united europe.” who the hell knows. its fun to hate america. there are lots and lots of reasons to do it. its chic. who wants to align themselves with the bourgeois spoiled americans? they have no sense of style, no sense of fashion. no sense of world politics. and they all line up to appear on jerry springer, have missing teeth and gun racks in their trucks. everyone american has a gun. and what’s with the women who try to look like barbie dolls? only an american would do that. again, back to the no style issue. heck, even americans like to hate the US. otherwise you are a hick, it’s all just cheap, over-marketed patriotism. right?
this is fun. let’s face it, no one is ever going to like us. we are that annoying, privileged, needy kid in school who had every answer. incessantly, waving his hand in class, or attention from the teacher. not noticing when other kids snickered behind his back. and then driving home in the ford focus he got for his sixteenth birthday. yup. that’s us.
oh well! i am not in favor of war. unless it boosts the economy and then i say, “hell yeah, mount up soldiers!!” it’s all about the bling bling, baby.

the cello concertos 1-3. repeatedly. all day. that’s what it takes to get through the day, occasionally. it does, however, make me want to pick up my cello and play. i haven’t since september. since before the surgery. i wonder how completely rusty i would be?
i played hooky from work yesterday. the idea was to get a bunch of stuff done. the reality was that i slept in. a lot. but i do have clean underwear. and since i was wearing my last pair, that’s a good thing. clean socks, clean sheets, clean jeans, clean bras, and a clean grey hoodie sweatshirt. i’m going to consider it a good day for no other reason. my sights have previously been set too high, i believe.
few things piss me off more than animal cruelty. and here is a horrible story about bunnies. i am especially fond of bunnies, and especially sensitive to their plight. and this story makes me cry. the people in this story should be studied, because surely one of them is going to end up being a serial killer. anyway, the link above gives you the story, and something you can do about expressing your feelings towards animal cruelty. take a moment out and tell the Suffolk County DA what SICK BASTARDS Matteo Loverso, and his son, Rosario, are. so unnecessary and unacceptable. it sickens me. and my eye for an eye mentality leads me to believe that they should probably be skinned alive. just to make things fair.

ripping off spinal tap is ripping off genius, you know.
i’m reading the best book right now. i highly recommend it, especially if you have any interest at all in writing. it’s called bird by bird: some instructions on writing and life by anne lamott. i liked it so much, i took the time to put the title in italics. whoa. i actually read about it on the NaNoWriMo website. National Novel Writing Month. which, i’ve mentioned before. [see december’s entry “i hate it when you keep secrets from me.”] my favorite chapter, so far, is on perfectionism. “Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground – you can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, edit things out, fix things, get a grip. Tidiness suggest that something is a good as it’s going to get.” granted, she was talking about writing. but i decided to just go ahead and apply that to my house too.
as per usual, i am having a hard time adjusting to my role of employee, from my roll as lazy slob, the role i like to play on the weekends. i’m still going through that massive book reading phase. one book after another after another after another. i’m in love with the library. going over my expenses for the last four months, i found that, on average, i spent more, per month, on books than i did on clothing for the entire 4 months. it would be even less, except that i had to buy a skirt and shoes for one wedding, and some kind of accessory for another wedding. oh, and bras. obviously. the point being, i sat on my ass this weekend, and read five new books.
why can’t i just do anything in moderation?
however, since it is monday, i did have the updated tard blog to look forward to. i don’t think i’ve mentioned the tard blog on here before. i urge you to check it out, it’s written by a special ed teacher. if, for some reason, you start to find it offensive, read the FAQ’s etc. if, for some reason, you STILL find it offensive, let me know and i will SLAP YOU. i think at first, if you start with the oldest archives, you feel guilty for laughing. and part of that may be the editing, as mentioned on the site itself. but it doesn’t take long before you realize how much she loves her students. the fact is, every profession that deals with situations that may be viewed as unfortunate, overwhelming or disturbing, does the exact same thing! hell, anyone who has to deal with public at all, does this. believe me, when i did phone tech support, i was as nice as pie, completely patient. but after some calls, i would shred the customer’s alleged technical IQ. because some people can be rude, or condescending or stubborn or whiny or just plain WRONG. i had one customer who expressed his surprise that i could fix his computer issues because i was “a girl. and girl’s aren’t usually very good at stuff like this.” “wow! thanks! i guess you learn something new every day.” you don’t get to give people honest answers in situations like this. you give the honest answers to your friends and coworkers after the fact. so what’s my point? oh yeah, don’t be offended by the tard blog because if you do, you aren’t getting it. so just don’t read it.
besides, if you read the show and tell entry for 2/10, and don’t laugh. i don’t want to know you.

whatever the fuck that means. but that error is keeping me from accessing my email. i hate that. i feel cut off from the entire world. even though i am surrounded by my entire team, and there are 450 employees in this building. that’s not the point!!
it’s ok… i can still get work email. all is not lost.
so, did i tell you i saw the plastic surgeon recently? for a boobie follow-up. they are doing splendidly, thank you for asking. healing nicely, shaped nice, even. they took some “after” shots with the digital camera. for clarification, these pictures are of my torso only, and i am topless. facing front, 1/4 turn left and right, half turn left and right, and facing back. so they gave me a print out of the “afters” and the “befores.” omigod i was a FREAK. i’m serious. i was like…. elephant man deformed with those breasts. i cannot believe it. they are shocking. i was speechless. it was very…sobering. not entirely pleasant. not pleasant at all, except for the fact that i no longer sport those breasts.
now, so many people have been working on my breasts, touching them, wrapping them in bandages, looking at them, drawing things on them, and such, that i have become a little detached from them. they don’t seem …clandestine. i’d whip them out any old time and show you the scars. maybe. probably. depending on who you were. but pretty much probably. that being said, i thought about putting the before and after shots up online. but there is no way i could put those “before” shots up there. those are the secretive boobies. besides, it’s the rest of my body i really don’t want naked online. so no “before” and “after” shots. sorry. you’ll have to get me drunk and pay me $10 to see them. however, like i said, i’d probably pull up my shirt for free.
email still broken. sad.

arifa [aka. fee] did not like my theorem. or lance’s theorem to be precise. because it did not make sense to her, there were no events. but there weren’t supposed to be any!! it’s a joke!! it says “no pie?” i have a t-shirt with a photo of a kitten that says “no pie?” which i find hysterical. and lance was so proud of it! i actually shrieked when i figured it out, i enjoyed it that much.
anyway, fee says she can’t like it, because it’s not logical, and she is like spock. all about logic. however, i ask you, how can she be a vulcan, if she freaks out whenever she’s a bug? that’s not vulcanish. they don’t go for that silly emotional outburst stuff. so i reject her statement that she is like spock, based on those observations. i’ll be hard to convince otherwise.
today, a women came into the bathroom while i was there. she scrubbed her hands vigorously, as if she was a surgeon. she dried them on three separate paper towels and THEN she went to the bathroom. i don’t know what she was planning to touch in there… or what she had been touching… but it must be pretty cootie infested. i didn’t stick around to see the post potty ritual.
it’s been a while since we’ve seen extreme cuteness on this blog. here’s a picture of maggie with pigtails. it makes her look like cindy lou who. i also shrieked when i first saw her with them. as always, click the photo for a larger image.

well, hello. it’s friday. and not unlike any other friday, i am in no mood to work. however, i don’t exactly know what i am in the mood to do instead. so i guess i’ll just attempt the work thing.
yesterday, i saw a couple of previews for some training on the work philosophy based on the world famous pike place fish market here in seattle. it’s pretty cool. i think it’s the only kind of work philosophy or motivation type crap that has ever really made any sense to me. no corporate speak. these were just preview tapes, but it did talk about the four basic ummm… things. philosophies about work. that lead to their mission to be world famous.
– have fun
– be there
– make their day
– choose your attitude.
it sounds all super positive doesn’t it? but it is very interesting how they turned this market around from a business losing money, at which nobody really enjoyed working. to the World Famous Pike Place Fish Market, where everybody likes to work. and they are world famous. i never knew. i just thought of them as the guys that threw the fish and goofed off with people walking by. i took elle there last year when she was here. i’m pretty sure lisa and fee saw them when they went down to pike place.
ok… co-worker craig is talking about his health. time to put the headphones on.
oh, and i got my new library card in the mail. so things are moving at a pretty exciting pace for me right now.