pru and i are in a fight. last night, she went all spastic and started freaking out behind the entertainment center and tv. ended up she pulled the cable out. therefore, tivo was not able to record angel, and i missed it. it took me over twenty minutes to figure out what part of the intricate chain was loose. and for a minute, i thought maybe she had actually pulled the cable out from the wall and i would have to call for a repair. so we had a fight. of course, she is just a little kitten with a peanut brain, so she may not realize it. whereas i am a adult human being with an above average sized brain. and i can recognize the delicate nuances of our relationship. nonetheless, she still slept on my head. and woke me up by kissing my face. because of that peanut size brain.
this weekend, i decided i wanted to play the sims. i had not really explored Hot Date, and i had had it for months. so …. i did. and you know how it is when i get into the sims. hours just disappear. i was working with two sims, buttonwillow and jorji, but i was having some issues with buttonwillow. she was to be my main sim. i usually have one that i concentrate on for a while. and it was going to be buttonwillow. but she didn’t like anyone. not even her roommate. who really liked her. i don’t get it. i got a little frustrated and ended up creating a new sim and household. phoebe, named after the b, lives alone. which is dangerous, because they get so freakin’ lonely so easily. but she throws lots of parties and doesn’t have a job. her best friend is kylie, who always wants to gossip and then shows a negative red mark above her head when she does. i guess phoebe doesn’t reciprocate the gossip and that annoys kylie. but that’s all kylie wants to do when she comes over. but they go downtown and have fun. and phoebe buys her lots of food and presents. and they play chess and hang out in the hot tub. so it’s all good. i downloaded an eddie izzard sim. he’s for phoebe. and they are in love. but these crazy sims are more unpredictable now, in hot date. it’s complicated. more challenging, i suppose. takes more effort to win them over. and it’s easier to turn them off. phoebe accidentally walked in on eddie when he was trying on a bathing suit, on a date downtown, and he walked off in a huff. seriously, it was an accident. i didn’t know that “play in” the dressing room was an option, and i tried to cancel it, but it was too late. he’s in love with her, and he’ll kiss and hug her, but he won’t slow dance, or play in the hot tub. moody. well, i’ll try not to rush things. i think i’ll see if i can’t create a man for buttonwillow.
i’m a sad creature, aren’t i?

romy sent me this as a birthday greeting, because i had birthday pie instead of cake.
want pie now!
i actually got three kinds of pie on sunday, birthday pie [dutch apple] and two different kinds at bookclub. it was a good thing.

so my birthday was fine. except i am getting sick. started on my actual birthday. but i survived. i wasn’t terribly excited about this birthday. maybe i am having a problem turning 35, i don’t know. i have not had a problem with any other age, so this would be a first for me. and, yes, my stepdad did forget my birthday again this year. however this time i decided to tell him he forgot, instead of just let it go.
last week was so boring, i am really trying hard to find something to come up with for the Most Important Thing i Learned. and the only one i can come up with is really really lame. but maybe that was just the way it was last week. lame. i learned that putting fresh lemon rind in your apple pie recipe is really really really good. that’s it. i had pie at bookclub yesterday, it was excellent apple pie. and she put lemon it in. that is one sucky week, in terms of expanding one’s horizons. i’ll try to better this week.
i’ve decided that i am 73% certain i should get a part time job. i am too stressed about money and i think doing something about it would make me feel better than just sitting around worrying about it would. it’s not like i want to give up my free time to another job, i’m intrinsically a very lazy person. but i’m not exactly living a go-go new millennium lifestyle right now. since i’ve become an introvert. i think it might actually be good for me.
i have, of course, come up with some qualifiers. i will only take a job that is non-stressful. i would prefer it either be dealing with something that interests me, something so different that i learn something, or something that has some kind of life experience value. for instance, there is a listing in the paper for a part time job at the Love Pantry, about a mile and a half from my house. now, this is a pretty tame sex shop. no magazines. mostly lingerie and toys. stupid bachlorette party favors, fetish clothing, naughty gifts. stuff like that. but working in a sex shop, now that has life experience value. i would find it amusing, it would be different, and i wouldn’t mind having that to add to my list of “things i’ve done.” maybe i could incorporate it into my best selling novel that’s going to eventually lead me out of these financial woes. plus, it’s not in the mall. i’m not sure i could work at the mall. that might be too depressing. i wonder if i would get a discount? everyone would get vibrators for christmas!

in 43 minutes, i’ll be 35 years old. can you believe that shit? how’d that happen?

i had to kick pru out of the bedroom last night. i’m currently not sleeping much. and every time i get close to sleeping, she starts acting up!! she would not quit biting me last night. i kicked her out. shut the door. she does not like that. when i finally opened it this morning, she wanted a lot of attention.
yesterday was boring. [today is not much better] i had nothing to write. i tried. but when i started writing about the weather [we are having record breaking nice weather right now] i knew it was time to put the keyboard down and walk away.
so everyone should be proud of fee. today, she’s on her way to the starting point of the Avon 3 day breast cancer walk. she’s going to walk 20 miles each day. and sleep in a tent. and then, at the end, she’s going to have to escape all the hugging and the crying. cuz i heard a lot of kumbaya shit goes on at the end of the walk. gross. i really wanted her to wear this t-shirt, on the walk.

it’s from t-shirts that suck.
it would have ruled.

Adobe Systems Plans Restructuring, Job Cuts in 4th Quarter
Tuesday October 15, 6:39 pm ET
By Marcelo Prince
Dow Jones Newswires
NEW YORK — Adobe Systems Inc. (NasdaqNM:ADBE – News) said it plans to take a $10 million to $ 14 million restructuring charge for an undisclosed number of job cuts in the current quarter. That could translate into the dismissal of 200 to 300 employees, one analyst said.
continued….
oh goody.

there is something i forgot, earlier. a new feature to the blog called “the most important thing i learned this week.” which i meant to do on sunday. now remember, not every teacher is Buddha, not every lesson is the path to enlightenment, and not every story has a moral. sometimes, some weeks, all you can handle are the simple lessons. the little things. you know? i’m not depak chopra, here. so don’t put that kind of pressure on me. i can’t handle it man!
as is evidence by this week’s lesson. but if you have ever read “the mezzanine” by nicholson baker, you will know how happy this little lesson made me. this lesson falls under the category of “helpful hints.” i like drinking with straws. maybe i’m orally fixated, i don’t know. however, i also sometimes drink soda from a can. you can’t use a straw with soda pop in a can, cuz it floats up and out of the can. unless you refrain from the 2nd half of the opening procedure, when flipping the little ring on the can of soda pop. leave the ring over the opening usually reserved for your mouth, do not push it back out of the way, and stick the straw through the hole of the ring! it stays put! genius! got that from my coworker molly. and if she had been at work today, i would have thanked her.

today, on my drive to work, i saw a car that had a map of canada in it’s window. it was an outline map of the northern half of north america, with the provinces mapped out, each in a different color, with it’s name in the middle of it. all areas of land that were not part of canada were transparent. wait, that’s not quite right, the entire northern territory was transparent as well. it took up the entire dirver’s side rear window. and i just thought that was an odd car decal. that’s all. and why didn’t the northern territory deserve a color? i mean, i can see why they might do that to quebec, just for fun, but what’s the northern territory done to deserve transparency?

in my hororscope in the october issue of Jane magazine, it says “to you, less is not more, it’s less.” and boy is that true. i just had to reitterate that.
i’ve been worrying a lot about money. a whole lot. and shitload of a lot. i really hate money. but not in that, i just want to do without material possessions and be a minimalist way. but in, i want more. i want security and i want the freedom it gives me. freedom to buy toys, freedom to travel, freedom to take care of the ones i love. if that’s shallow, than just don’t lay face down in me, baby. [because it’s been shown that you can drown in 3 inches of water. i think.] i don’t fuckin’ care if it is shallow. for me to pretend to be feel any differently would be a lie. and which is worse, being what some would consider shallow? or a total and complete fake? i think you know my answer.
i don’t think i am a snob. i don’t think that i need more and more stuff to make me feel complete. but you know what? i like to buy shoes!! i like it. it’s FUN! like… it could be considered a hobby, it’s that much fun. the same with books. i could spend hours and hours in bookstores. and happily walk out with a stack of books. and what if i don’t get the chance to read them all? so what? i walk out with a stack full of wonder and possibility. and i can sell them at Half Price Books for someone else to enjoy, if i did not.
you know what else i like? i like buying stuff for people. i like to buy them stuff they wouldn’t buy themselves. because they can’t afford it. or don’t know it exists, but i do. and i know it’s perfect for them. i’d have to say that is my favorite hobby. buying presents for people.
and now i am in a financial pickle. and i can’t do any of those things. and i don’t know when i am going to be able to do them again. not for a long time. and i HATE it. it goes against everything i am. i’m not a frugal person. i don’t clip coupons and i don’t shop sales. [i don’t shop sales because i hate crowds of aggressive shoppers. it’s unpleasant and detracts from the fun. i’d rather shop online.] i don’t want to be this girl i am going to have to be for the next few years. it’s that bad. stupid IRS. but it’s my own fault.
the only thing i can figure out is, i am going to have to find a way to make money on my own. did i mention that we are going to have lay offs between now and the end of the quarter? yeah. we are. hopefully i’ll be fine. but i hate that feeling the entire company has, that worry. i don’t want to be dependent on anyone. and the most independent thing i can come up with, that suits me, is a best selling author. that’s my plan. i’m going to have to be a best selling author. that’s my plan. and maybe i’ll get started tonight. after CSI.

if you feel like you’ve lost control over your own life, this might make you feel better…
puppet man
or it might creep you out.