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The Official Getting Out of Town/Country on a Friday Night Rant

To save time, we should just consider the following rant to be true every time I drive to Victoria on a Friday night after work, m’kay?

The 9th circle of hell has traditionally been home to traitors, who are immersed in the frozen lake Cocytus, unless they are, of course, Cassius, Brutus or Judas…. they are forever to be chewed up by Satan… gross, eh? Anyway, I am going to start a petition to elevate traitors to the 8th circle of hell, clearing way for what I consider to be a greater sin, those who drive in the left hand land despite the fact that they couldn’t pass wind, let alone another car on the freeway. Those who knowingly disobey the signs “Keep right except to pass” or “Slower traffic keep right” will spend eternity submerged up to their necks in frozen lakewater, everything but their heads and hands, with little hell fish tickling their feet… unable to scratch or brush the little buggers away. As for Satan’s jaws, I’m keeping those free for now… I like to keep my options open… for when people really piss me off.

Come on!! Who’s with me!

That’s Friday’s drive. Sunday’s drive is all dark and cruise control, enjoying the sections of 70 mph speed limit and trying to control myself during the sections of 60 mph. Wondering how many big towns and how many little towns a quarter of a tank of gas will take me through, and connecting the dots from one outlet mall to the next Indian Casino.

I tried Native American Casino…it didn’t sound right.

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