One of my favorite things about Canada is their attitude towards adult content on tv. Basically, after 10 pm, it’s your responsibility to make sure your kid doesn’t hear the F word or see bare breasts. There is a content warning after each commercial break, warning you about content, but that’s it. I love that. We are so prudish in the States. (See J. Jackson’s Nipple v. The United Priggish States of Football Watching America for further evidence.)

But the truth is, I’m not a parent. I don’t have to worry about anything. Until Wil’s daughter comes to visit. Wil and I are not used to thinking about the content of what we watch. To be honest, every single tv show on Canada seems to have a content warning of some kind after the commercial break. You become sort of immune to them. Several times this week, we were caught off guard. I wanted to watch a show about a housewife with multiple personality disorder, as naturally a person like myself would, but on the “previously” scenes there were bare boobies and people having the tv sex. Oops.

We were looking forward to watching tv simulcast of Will Ferrell’s broadway show “Your Welcome, America: A Final Night With George W. Bush” on HBO for weeks. It was on Saturday, at 8 pm. So the three of us were sitting on the couch, watching it together. HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE WOULD SHOW A PICTURE OF A PENIS???? I mean… COME ON! It’s not our fault.

If it were my kid, I wouldn’t care. By age 11, we probably already would have spoken of, and looked at pictures of, penises. For educational purposes. But I have no idea what her mother’s take on it is. I have no grasp of how mature she is about these things. The last thing I would want to do is treat a kid like an young adult before her time. For reals. That makes me sad. Other people’s kids are mine fields, you know what I mean?

I know for sure she does not know the definition of the word “muff.” Thanks for saying it 14 times in a row, Mr. Ferrell.*