To sleep, perchance, to breath.

You guys are lucky. Sometimes, I wait so long to post about something, I get bored and impatient with it. It becomes a lot more succinct when that happens. You are welcome.

Part of the aforementioned patience was taken up by trying to remember how to spell “succinct” just now. I want to be a WRITER, not a SPELLER.

With that in mind. Sleep Apnea. I gots it. I’ve had a couple of tests done, at home, things on my finger that measure my blood/oxygen level and therefore, somehow, the number of times my sleep is interrupted. By lack of oxygen, I suppose.

For the past 6 weeks I have been trying out a CPAP machine. CPAP stands for Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. I’ve been using one like this with this mask. It blows I think the whole thing was kind of bass ackwards. First I saw a technican. A month after I started with the CPAP, I finally saw a medical sleep doctor and he had me fill out a pre-registration for an overnight sleep study in the hospital that won’t happen for another 3 to 4 months probably. Oh Canada. So I guess the ass bacwardness is good, since I’m already on the treatment.

They told me that there are three types of treatment

  1. special mouth guard – good for mild to moderate cases. I believe I fall into the “upper moderate” category.
  2. surgery – ouch. not always effective.
  3. CPAP – “100% Effective! It’s great! Buy one now! Do you have extended insurance coverage?”

Although, on the Sleep Apnea wikipedia page, they list “Learning to play the didgeridoo,” as an alternative treatment. No one mentioned that to me!

It’s annoying. It’s hard to get used to. If I can’t breath through my nose, due to allergies, I can’t use it at all. But… I’m no longer snoring. Wil gets a better nights sleep because of it. I seem to wake up faster when I use it. I don’t wake up with headaches. I have less daily fatigue.* And my blood pressure is way down. So that’s good.

Ultimately, I hope it helps the weight gain and depression as well. I’ll have to let you know.

It was all I could do not to just bullet point that entire post. Sleep well. Don’t forget to breath.

*due to a diagnosis of very low iron levels in my blood, I am still experiencing daily fatigue. But that should be better in a couple of weeks, since I am taking PILLS OF MIGHTY IRON!



“I am not sorry when silence becomes singing”

I’m not much for poetry, really. My favorite poets, in no particular order, are Shel Silverstein, Dr. Seuss, and my husband. So when I come across a poem that moves me, it’s quite unusual. And wonderful. Which is probably the best way to enjoy poetry, even if it’s not often.

Yesterday, a poem grabbed me. Enough to make me think I might want to read more of this author. Here it is.

i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
-i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april

my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth’s own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness

around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains

i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
-i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing

winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)


– e.e.cummings

movies and tv

Fish fingers and custard.

I cannot describe how excited I am, watching this trailer. Wait, let me try – watching it made me bounce up and down in my seat on the couch and wave my tiny fists of doom in the air spastically, yelling “Honey … Honey… Honey… comere! comere!” And then I melted into a puddle of goo. Happy happy goo.

This season looks so amazing. This show just gets better and better. (I cannot help but imagine what it would have been like to have a Stephan Moffat/David Tennant series). There is an episode that is written by Neil Gaiman, that stars Michael Sheen. And that just makes my heart explode.

I tried to get Wm to watch it, but he doesn’t care that much about Doctor Who. He knows that his apathy frustrates me. And that’s fun for him.

Apple, Sims 3, William

I apologize in advance..

I will be unable for visiting, conversing, housework, meal preparation, bill paying and… pretty much everything until further notice. The Sims Medieval is released today. I can’t download my limited edition until 10 am PST. I imagine it will take a long time to download. And that pains me.

I broke down, liquidated some assets (so to speak) and bought the new MacBook Pro I’ve been threatening to buy since the Sims 3 came out. The last expansion pack rendered it unplayable on my old one. I couldn’t even play Civ V at all when it came out. And that’s one of the three. WoW, Civ, and the Sims.

It’s gorgeous. I’m in love with it. I play the sims on the highest graphic settings and it flies! 15 inches of glossy, graphic glory. I named it Persephone, but I should have called it Speed Racer. It’s all I can do not to smudge up it’s glossy monitor with smooches.

And before you ask (mom) while I might not be an ideal wife for the next few days, I hardly think Wil is one to begrudge me a few solid hours of game playing. Considering GTA, Fallout 3, Batman Arkum Asylum, GT5, Fight Nights 3 and 4, all of the Hitmen, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. As long as he has clean clothes for work.

He should lower his expectation for meal preparation. If that’s even possible, bless him.

pru, William


I’ve been working on a post about my recent sleep apnea diagnosis. Truth be told, I can not do it justice unless I include a picture of me wearing a CPAC mask. I have not yet been able to bring myself to do that. I have no trouble looking goofy, as you are well aware. But I do have a probably with my round, fat face. I miss my cheekbones.

In the meantime, here is a favorite, albeit grainy, picture of Pru and Wm taking a nap together. Rarely does Pru allow anyone but me to sleep next to her like that, so it was a momentous victory for Wil. You can tell she’s recently had her annual lion cut. Look at that belly!

Canada, William

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

About a month ago, I was down south, in Seattle, because I had some appointments. I mentioned something to Wil about running an errand at Target. The following conversation ensued:

Wm: Hey, did you hear, Zellers bought Target.

Me: No they didn’t.

Wm: Yes, they did.

Me: No, if anything, Target bought Zellars. They were trying to do that several years back.

Wm: Whatever. The point is, Target is coming to Canada. I heard something about it a couple of weeks ago.

Me: Now I know you are lying.

Wm: No I’m not.

Me: You are because you know me, we’ve been married for 3 and a half years. You know my feelings about Target. There is no way you’d let that news sit for TWO FUCKING WEEKS without telling me.

Can you believe that shit? It is true, tho. They won’t be here until 2013, and chances are all 220 of the first stores will be surrounding Toronto and in Edmonton. Everything is either in Toronto or in Edmonton. At the West Ed.