Oh, you guys… I just got a new mac at work. A 17″ MacBook Pro. It’s so pretty! Right now, I am copying everything over from squishy, onto my new mac. Which has no name yet. Any suggestions? Please keep in mind, all my macs are girls. KK suggested Vicky, but that’s my aunt’s name.

So, here is what happened. I decided to go up to Victoria last weekend, to see Wil. Who is now, officially, my Sexy Canadian Boyfriend. It’s out in the open. If my mom knows, the blog can know. Anyway, we head off to downtown Victoria, parking my car in a parking garage. After we eat, we decide to visit a veritable rainbow coalition of drinking establishments, a pop culture cross section of bars, if you will. We started off at Prism, a gay bar. Since it was fairly early in the evening, it was pretty empty. But I heard a drunk gay canadian guy [I’m assuming he was gay and Canadian, but who is to say. I am neither and I was there.] have a conversation about the shocking lack of vinegar usage in American cuisine that was an eerie mirror to a conversation shared earlier between Wil and myself. Canada is under the impression we don’t use vinegar. After a few drinks there, we headed off to Big Bad John’s.

BBJ’s is a cowboy-esque hillbilly type bar with peanut shells on the ground and all manner of things hanging from the ceiling. I loved it! It was great. It had things rigged up on wires that would swoop across the room. I’m fairly certain we saw a rubber chicken fly across the room. The details were fuzzy. There were a number of bras hanging from the ceiling as well. I did not leave mine. It was my favorite very light pink victoria secret bra. Practically sort of brand new!

Then we moved off to Monty’s, Victoria’s premiere strip club. I myself have never been to a girl strip club. Only a boy strip club for bachlorette parties. Again, it was pretty early, for a strip club, and so not too much was happening. I was excited to see these stripping girls. Stuff like that is good blog fodder, right? Besides, it’s good to experience things you’ve never experienced before. Makes for a fulfilling life and stuff. In the club, they had two versions of a punching game. You put a dollar in and punch it as hard as you can. It gives you some sort of number response, although, I am not sure how it is measured. And then a category rating. My Studly Canadian Boyfriend punched something in the 800 million range, although that could be metric I am not sure, and was categorized as a real Superman Studly Guy of some sort. We were watching the guys punch the game that was located in the front of the club, and it was obvious there were nowhere near the Superman Studly Guy group. One guy decided to high kick instead of punch, and my Moür Moür, god rest her soul, could have kicked harder than that.

What amused me about the whole thing is, all the guys in that place were far more interested in out punching each other than in the nekkid girl who finally came out to dance. I felt bad for her, so I tried to clap and give her some non-monitary encouragement. Which brings me to an interesting point. In Canada, they don’t have bills smaller than 5’s. Below that, it’s all coins. Additionally, they ladies strip down to nothing there. All the way full monty nekkid. So my concerns were, no g-string, no dollar bills smaller than 5’s…. where does one stick the money when they want to provide positive feedback for the artist, but don’t feel it’s worth more than a couple of dollars at a time? Turns out, you toss them on stage. Somehow, I find that more demeaning than having them tucked in your g-string, but that’s just me.

All the stuff is done copying from squishy to the new computer. We’ll talk more later. The important thing that you remember from that story is, if Wil punched you in the head, it would hurt. A lot. It feels like it’s my duty to say stuff like that. I’m not really well versed in the girlfriend schtick … I think I am supposed to buy him shirts and stuff too.