I bought a plant. His name is Kevin. I don’t know what possessed me to buy it, because plants tend to be short lived in my care. I have not had a plant in, probably, 10 years. First of all, like I said, they die in my home. And then, when I got the B, she ate what plants remained. She also ate the electrical cords, my shoes, my favorite chambray blue button up boys shirt from J. Crew. And even tho she passed away five years ago, RIP The B, I never bothered getting any new plants to kill.

Anyway, his name is Kevin, and wish him luck because he probably won’t make it to autumn.

Man, I need a haircut.