Yesterday I had a dr’s appt. A FEMALE doctor’s appt. The doctor was female as well. Anyhoo, it’s the bestest most fun kind of appt to have, any gal can tell you that. They ask you all sorts of really personal questions. “Are you sexually active?” That was always fun, when I was single. Well, define “active.” Why do they call it “birth control?” It’s not the birth you want to control, it’s the conception. They should call it “conception control.”

Having a “partner” adds a new twist to their questions. I guess they assume we have grown up discussions where we plan the details of our future and construct a timeline. If they saw my life, my home, my car, the inside of my purse, my cube at work… they’d know better than to think I’m that organized. I’ll tell you what I’ve planned. I’m moving to Canada. That’s about it.

Them: Are you planning on having children?

Me: Uhhh… ok…. yes? sorta.

Them: Have you thought about when you might want to become pregnant?

Me: pregnant? ohhh… ummm…

Them: At your age, the window of opportunity is starting to narrow.

Me: oh dear.

Them: It’s something to think about.

Me: Well… I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!

Them: Yes, well, that’s an excellent start.

But, you know, no pressure or anything.