bonjour petits chatons de l’Internet!! what’s up for today, eh? well, many chores. that’s what. some laundry. some kitchen cleaning. some removal of garbage. setting up a forum for fee. she wants a political discussion board. i’m not good at the political discussion, unless you make me angry. so i think i’ll be one of those people who just goes in and gets people riled up. and then sits back and laughs. shhhhh… don’t tell fee. and maybe i’ll do some design updates on the ‘brain while i’m at it.
but mostly, i’m going to outline today. we have three weeks until wrimo and i am so excited i’m about to burst. so i’m going to outline. and i am going to create a graphic for the elitest writers group i have formed with loon. i’ll reveal the name when the graphic is done. so far, there are three of us. loon, blue and me.
but yes, outlining. when i’m done with the outline, fee is going to check it out for me. fee is my editor. although, she shouldn’t expect to edit anything until december. i need to be able to write like no one is reading. i need to not think so much. the thinking comes in december.
re: the search strings. one string that came up, on another log, that probably won’t make it into october’s top 20 is “jodi is an easy fuck.” i kid you not. just yesterday someone searched on that. i’m so proud.
Monthly Archives: October 2003
top twenty search strings for sept. 2003
so i’m sitting here, looking at the search strings that led people to jodiferous.com.
it’s loons fault. it was her idea. the control panel for web space gives me the top 20 searches for each month.
so now, i proudly present to you… the top 20 search strings that led people to jodiferous.com
1 over-egging the pudding
2 dibbuk box
3 agent provocateur red tape mp3
4 agent provocateur red tape mp3 download
5 he’s not the messiah he’s a very naughty boy
6 lower abdominal pain
7 red tape agent provocateur mp3
8 over egging the pudding
9 agent provocateur red tape download
10 redtape.mp3
11 tom likus
12 agent provocateur redtape
13 female intuition
14 red tape by agent provocateur download
15 cpanel license
16 red tape agent provocateur mp3 download
17 baby stewie
18 bring lawyers guns and money
19 he’s not the messiah
20 i wear the cheese
a lot of them are very redundant. and i’m embarrassed to be linked to tom likus. but.. oh well.
enjoy!
I’m not sure she’s capable of any real feelings. She’s television generation. She learned life from Bugs Bunny.
sugar high! a woman here at work is leaving on maternity leave. to celebrate, she brought in all kinds of yummy cake from whole foods. so we sat in the sunny corner lounge and ate cake and talked for some time. and soon i will crash. i did not eat my lunch first. because i wanted to make sure there was room for cake. maybe i’ll eat some later. it’s leftover stinky cheese pizza.
so, i haven’t written the last couple of days. shame on me. i was busy at work, and didn’t really take breaks. and when i got home, i was in the mood to hit the couch. so i did. WITH MY FISTS. no. i was in a real telly mood. also, i’m not sure anything really interesting has come up recently. it’s probably because of that tv watching. tv probably sucks all the interesting parts out of your life.
ummm… so i got nothing. i’m going to the mall tonight. going to see if they are hiring seasonal help at the apple store. and i need some new benefit bad girl mascara. because i’m a baaaaad girl.
You just listened to me mentally puke
loon posted this on her blog. and i cannot ell you how relieved i am. this explains A LOT. i’m happy because now i know there is a reason behind my crazy mind… i’m meant to profit off it! i shall use this crazy mind to become a best selling author!
that’s all i really have today. not feeling well. i went home early yesterday because i felt pukey. and i still feel pukey. i really want to crawl into bed. that’s what i want.
Here’s a job that I can do. “Police are seeking third gunman.” Tomorrow, I’m gonna march over to the police station and show them that I’m the man they’re looking for.
can’t remember how to do my job… typical monday. might be a good day to try to clean the mess that is my cube. usally what happens is, i get started, and then something comes up to remind me what my job is, someone emails me, or i have a meeting or it just comes back to me. besdies, i brought a little can of air, with the straw attachment, for blowing crap out from between your keys on your keyboard from home. so i have to clean up a little.
so lets reply to some comments, to show how much we appreciate getting them.
judes says:
and i like how he affirms your belief that you are indeed a supergenius.
can’t really deny the obvious, judes.
fee says:
you know, when i saw that you were a lemur i was all, “i wish i were a lemur!” and then i saw that you weren’t that happy about being a lemur. whatever – i took the test and i’m lemur, too.
i guess i just wanted to be something really fast or really smart. like a dolphin. or something that could fly. but i do like the nosy aspect of the lemur. and since you are a lemur too, we can hang out on the branch together. although i cannot see you disregarding the law. i’ll handle that part, ok?
thanks for the nalgene tip. wide-mouth ruby for me. i think i’m just going to drink out of it like a cup though.
i now have the ruby 32oz narrow mouth bottle. for water. and a sage wide mouth and sapphire wide mouth. both 32oz. and i got a little sippy thing that goes in the top, so that you dont’ spill. it’s nice.
louise says:
I heard about the centipede incident direct from the only other witness!!! Yes, that was the topic of my 1:1. We sad and grimaced and “euuwwwed” instead of writing my quarterly goals.
But good news to cheer you up, they’re making another Dr Who series and Eddie Izzard is tipped to play the Docotor!!! I can’t vouch for it’s accuracy being that it was noted in the Sun newspaper…
louise!! hi! you didn’t finish your goals? i’m the one who sipped the bug and at least we finished my goals.
romy – that spider story was DISGUSTING!! it reminded me of my brother. who had me convinced, when i was a kid, that earwigs lived in the basement of my grandmother’s house in denver. and so everytime i slept over, i tried to fall asleep with my hands over my ears.
just to let you all knoiw, loon is my sworn enemy. enemies are something you use in nanowrimo to help you finish. as in [mock darth vader voice] you are my sworn enemy, and i shall finish my 50k before. prepare for defeat! also, i would like an order of the penne arrabiata.*[/mock darth vader voice] so that’s fun! i imagine it’s one of those enemies in which we can mock and torment each other, but no one else better pick on my enemy. i’ll kick their ass. right? maybe not. maybe she’s out for my blood.
*i’m sorry. but darth vader and pennie arrabiata will forever be associated in my mind. and whenever i use the mock darth vader voice, i will have to order penne arrabiata.
bubble on, jodi
hey dear internet friends, guess what i did for you? instead of just going home after working, and being an antisocial little shut-in, i went to a work shop at a new age bookstore. simply so i could possibly have something to write about today! i did it for you. because i am perfectly happy being a hermit. hermitess. whatever.
off topic side note: i am typing at a speed not previous experienced. i have not had THAT much dr. pepper, but my fingers are FLYING. it’s kind of scary. they are moving at 45rpm.
back on topic.so voyager tarot’s dr. wanless was in back in town. i mentioned that earlier… that he’d be here.
you know, off topic again, my blog is out of control, i can no longer easily find old entries to link back to them. it’s been over a year now. i need some kind of category system. i imagine i could spend some hours not working at work, assigning categories to my entries.
back topic. evildeb was not in town to go with me, and so we couldn’t’ get drunk ahead of time. so i would have to go alone. but i was feeling kinda guilty about the drunk thing, and i didn’t attend the last workshop, (see above feelings about drunkenness. ) so i decided to go. it was a much smaller class and i think evildeb would have enjoyed it much more. even sober. it was more interactive. i’m sorry she wasn’t’ there. because at one point, i was asked to work with the person next to me. now, those of you who know me, know i don’t really read tarot cards. i just like them. i get readings from james [dr. w.] every couple of years, because he’s so proactive and positive. and not really about the fortune telly stuff. but i don’t’ read other peoples cards. i use them for myself. i will, however, pull cards and have conversations about them. but i don’t really do readings.
and, those of you who know me, know that i am somewhat of an introverted extrovert. and the last year has been much more about self reflection, and less about other people. so selfish! so how am i supposed to look at a card, and look at this stranger, and have any feelings about what that card means for them? seriously, this is something i could have done two years ago. but things are different now, and so am i. i’ve pulled in. so i just sat there, in my way, looking at the card, and looking at this very nice woman, who’s name i have forgotten, babbling. she said, “go ahead, i can see you are just bubbling over with stuff to say.” and she’s right, i am. but nothing about her. i took her card and immediately thought about what that card would mean to me. see what i mean? it sounds so selfish, which i write it. if deb were there, or anyone else i knew remotely, i would have been able to have some thoughts about the card. but whatever sensors you possess, to pick up on other people’s energy, are at half power for me right now.
james came over and we started talking about my card, and what she saw in it for me. much more interesting to me, of course. the question was, put ubersimply, what path do you need to take to achieve a sense of WHOLE. and my card? the hermit of course!! now see, can you understand why i can’t pick up on other people’s shit, if i am supposed to be shutting out worldly distractions? hello? anyways, me me me… the moon at the top of that card is a harvest moon, which james said can also mean a time of great creation, especially in this fall season. so i told them about NaNoWriMo. more lovely discussion about me.
however, then he wanted to know what i saw in her card. which was, the moon. and i tried to explain my lack of insight [pls. refer to my card, people, the hermit.] but the nice woman again mentioned my bubbliness. and james seemed to concur. so i said, “bubble on, jodi” making a little xena joke. cracked myself up. bubble on, jodi. and hence the title of today’s scattered blog entry.
in the spirit of last nights class, i’d like to provide you with a soundbyte of my april 2000 reading with james, in which he calls me an alien and i giggle like a school girl and then explain to him i am a supergenius.
supergenius.mp3
bubble on, indeed.
let’s take some quizzies….
gimme some sugar, baby!
You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.
What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
boooya!
You Have the Power of Teleportation!
What’s Your Magic Power?
brought to you by Quizilla
a lemur? i’m a fuckin’ lemur?
WHAT TYPE OF WILD CREATURE ARE YOU? (New Pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla
All right, listen up. If there are any bugs in here, or rats, or anything that has more legs than I do, you just stay on your side of the room, okay?
oh my god. wait until you hear what happened to me this morning. i WAS prepared to tell you all about how i colored my hair red last night. and how i sort of only took into account the “medium brown” aspects of it, and not the growing out blond. and about how i now had BRIGHT FUCK OFF RED highlights instead of blond. but i’m not going to do that. cuz i just did. looks kinda punk actually. it’s semi-perm, so it will fade a bit.
anway, what happened to me this morning is far more tragic and dramatic. it’s the kind of thing that makes me say “uh. well. at least i have something to write about.” so, do you remember the story about evildeb, the latte, and the bee? well, i had my own little bug experience this morning. i was sitting in my boss’s office, having a 1:1, drinking my breakfast. which, for those of you who do not know, is a 44 ounce dr. pepper from a soda fountain in the mini mart near my house. i’d been working on it for about 45 minutes. i felt something in my mouth, and thought it was a thread or something. and then i realized, whatever was in my mouth, came from the straw. i had just taken a sip. i spit it out into my hand and it was a BUG!! but it was a long skinny type bug. black. it looked sort of centipedish. i went “aaarrrrrhhhh!” and pam said, “there’s still some in your mouth there is still some in your mouth!!” so i started swiping at my tongue to get it out. she handed me a bottle of water, but i had to make sure it was all off before i could swallow water. otherwise i’d be swallowing bug bits.
near as i can figure, it had to be dead in the cup. because the soda would have gone through some kind of aerator thing. i’m totally sicked out. so was pam. it’s her worst nightmare, she said. i think we both should go home. molly said a wee little centipede is worse than a bee. because bee’s are cute and fuzzy and do good things. and centipede’s are not. and have too many legs. but i’m not sure “fuzzy” should count as a good thing, when it comes to having it in your mouth.
blech. i am going to go buy two naglene wide mouth bottles, in pretty colors of course, and drill straw size holes in the top. [yay! power tools!] and i’m using those from now on. they are transparent. i’ll be able to see what’s inside. and i’ll be able to run them through the dishwasher. plus, molly says they are on sale this weekend, at REI.
The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slan
sometimes i enjoy looking back at stuff i’ve done, so i can laugh at myself and tell myself how funny i am. i can’t help. hell yeah, i’m insecure… i need approval. but the approval i like the best? mine!! bwahahaha!! however, i’ve received some very nice comments recently. some of them ANONYMOUS! and i’m so grateful for that. so to the strangers who have said nice things, i say THANKS! and a special thanks to loon, who is not a stranger, but has said many nice things to me lately. so go visit her blog, don’t be shy. leave her comments.
so anyway, cracking myself up, yeah… i’m working on my quarterly goals for Q4. which actually started sept. 1st. but that’s ok, i still have to write them. i hate writing my goals. there is a professional language that is used in these things, and it’s a language i just don’t speak. the only thing more painful than writing my quarterly goals, is providing peer feedback on my coworkers. previously, my comments could have been copied and pasted into the employees focal review, and i used to BLEED with the pain of trying to write constructively and professionally. now, however, the comments are “repurposed” by the manager, and they general reword the comments into something more general. so last year i told my boss that i wasn’t even going to try to write in corporate speak. i was going to write in my own voice. luckily for me, my boss at the time found them amusing, and let me do stuff like that.
i’m making this short story very long, aren’t i? get to the point. the point is, i was trying to find last quarter’s goals, and i came across my peer feedback for 2003, done last spring, so i was reading some of my comments. and you know what? I’M FUNNY!! it’s a shame the peers didn’t get to read my comments as is. all that funny, wasted on only myself and my manager. until now.
excerpts. names have been changed to protect nobody but me. i hope this isn’t like some huge professional mistake or something.
“Well, I already mentioned above that EMPLOYEE communicates insights so that others can benefit, I just didn’t say it as pretty. He’s a pretty agreeable guy, and when asked to assist with SOME PROJECT, he took on that responsibility without complaint. I’ve never given him any feedback for self-improvement in his PROFESSIONAL life. I notice he completely ignores my advice for self-improvement in his personal life, however. But that’s not defensive, is it?”
“EMPLOYEE loves the customers! Since he is so loud on the phone, I’ve had ample opportunity to hear him on the phone with external customers … he maintains a positive, patient and friendly attitude throughout the entire call, no matter how long it is .. even if it messes up his personal or professional schedule. And as mentioned above, the same goes for internal customers.
Re: the loud comment. he can’t help it, he’s just so enthusiastic about helping customers! we tell him he’s loud, and he quiets down for about a minute and a half, but that enthusiasm just comes bubbling up again. it’s ok, we just make fun of him.”
“The last three points on this chart are what makes EMPLOYEE so sparkley. It’s a pleasure to work with him on a project, as he always follows through and owns his part. Plus, he never freaks out. Which leaves room for me to freak out. I appreciate that.
And he is one of the brightest crayons in the box, that’s for sure. ”
“It would be nice if EMPLOYEE could pay just a little bit more attention to me and my problems. Maybe he sits too far away? Maybe I should put a picture of myself on his desk, so he doesn’t forget to focus on my needs. I wouldn’t let this small flaw affect his focal however. ”
“EMPLOYEE works toward having an happy and cohesive team. I think the only one he bickers with is me. but that’s because he loves me soooooo much, he feels comfortable being a huge pain in my … backside. It’s a sibling type thing. I’m not sure he can help it that he is just wrong [and annoying] so much more often than I am. Must be hard for him, I imagine. He’s a brave little soldier. ”
“EMPLOYEE has been a huge influence on me. Oh yes, HUGE. In areas of the arts, literature, cuisine, travel, etc.
I’m kidding, I just seemed to focus on the word “Influencing” part of the title of this section. It struck me as funny. But actually, it’s true. Whenever you see people looking pained when EMPLOYEE, ANOTHER EMPLOYEE and I sit together in a class or meeting, it’s because they have a big influence on me. Sure, it’s to monkey around and get in trouble, but it doesn’t specify what kind of influence, does it? No.”
“However, when he is listening to music on his headphones, he turns the volume way way up. too up. and I am certain he will go deaf. It does not affect others, just thought I’d mention it. And it wouldn’t hurt him to bring ME an egg mcmuffin once in a while.