i need this so badly… it makes my heart hurt that it’s not already on my wall!!

people say to me, “hey jodi… how come you are doing this nanowrimo thing? you are incredibly lazy, and this sounds like a lot of work.” let me tell you, you are right on both counts. it is a lot of work. a lot of hard work, it’s not just getting words on the screen, either. i could type 50,000 words today if i had to. i’m not saying they’d make sense, if you read them, but i could do it. however, it’s just not that easy. why not? it just isn’t. it isn’t about word count, well… it is, but it isn’t all about word count. you want to have 50,000 words of good stuff. personally, i want 50,000 words of shear genius prose. but i’m not getting it. and boy there is a voice in my head and will not shut up. sometimes it goes on and on about how i am fooling myself, for ever thinking there was a possibility i could be a writer. it compares me not only to my favorite published authors, but my favorite fan fiction authors… brave, prolific, people who post their writing for all the world to adore or rip to shreds. sometimes, when it’s bored, the voice just sings “crap crap crappity crap” over and over in a sing song voice, while it hand stamps it’s own christmas cards. it’s then i realize that i have put a persona to that voice. that voice is very much like my ex-best friend tina’s more emotionally punishing moments. that voice doesn’t like my kandinksy prints, so i hang them in the bedroom, so we can hang her water color prints of cowboys. which are perfectly fine, but absolutely NOT representative of me in anyway, and it’s my living room too.
and so i say to that voice SHUT THE FUCK UP, TINA!!
but that wasn’t the question, that was the reason it was hard. the reason i want to do it, and the reason i like to blog as well, for that matter, can best be summed up by a famous quote:
“A writer writes not because he is educated but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood.” ` leo rosten.
i don’t even know who leo rosten is, but that statement right there sums it up. and blast it if i don’t wish i were articulate enough to have said it myself.