This week’s 50 word fiction theme is inspired by my little brother, and my search referral phrases. Ever since I told you the story of going to “fucking Nova Scotia“, I get several Nova Scotia search strings a day. Yesterday’s crop gave me the following theme: your story should include vasectomies and Nova Scotia. Now, if you think that you can’t fit both in a story, that’s ok. But you only get the super extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points if you have both. And you want the super extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points, don’t you? Of course you do.
This means you, J.J.
“So, where is he?” she demanded, her frenzied packing halted while she listed to the voice on the phone. “Well, he’s sadly mistaken if he thinks Nova Scotia is far enough away. Wait until I get my hands on him!! I made it very clear … NO VASECTOMIES UNTIL 2013!!”
You didn’t just say that we should use both, did you? Eeeeeek!
He loved Nova Scotia: Close enough for a day trip, yet far enough away so that the bevy of babes he bedded wouldn’t bump into him once their burgeoning bellies belied the babbling bedroom bullshit that his balls bubbled bunco. Vasectomy, shmasectomy: His profoundly potent pud proudly produced progeny prolifically.
It was the day of Jake’s vasectomy appointment. As they sat in the waiting room, Jake nervously skimmed through a travel magazine about Nova Scotia, while Laurie secretly beamed at the thought of being able to jump his bones, bareback, without repercussions. They certainly did not need any more kids.
No – Its not my real name. I’ll share that if this interesting interlude continues. Not much of a blogger really. In fact, I was looking for something completely different and found this. The posts we’re interesting, but I especially liked the 101 things about you. Let me be more precise – I respected the honesty with wich you shared yourself. So do you really exist? Peace!
You write like a poet. Forgive me for my ignorance, but is the riddle with those two words a challenge? Is it actually true that I’ll get the super extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points if I can? What if I actually use, “vasectomies”, and, “Fucking Nova scotia”?
Hmmmn – Since I have to leave the office, I think I’ll try regardless, and see if there is a response when I return. Hmmmn???
“She waited in the doorway watching the strobe of the falling rain beneath the candescent lamp. He should have been here by now was all she could think, before his friend suddenly appeared. Handing her a note signed with a kiss, he simply said, “He left to get a vasectomy”. As she read the thought thundered through her mind. “Where could he be?” – “Fucking Nova Scotia???””…
oh, joe, I exist, trust me. unless you are from the IRS. in which case I have sadly passed away recently.
everyone gets super extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points! congratulations. I have to warn you, they are fattening. but oh so worth it.
I pimped 50 word fiction friday on my blog, so does that earn me two extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points?
yes, extra bonus points AND a two liter bottle of coke.
WHOO HOO! You know me so well. =)
ìIf all the Nova Scotians would simply choose vasectomies,î said Anne Shirley one green-lit morning on rolling-hilled Prince Edward Island to her bosom friend Diana, ìthen my beloved Gilbert, doctor-hero, could earn enough recompense to afford us a mansion in Toronto!î
Alas, for it was not to be!
The vasectomy was routine. The tattoo wasnít.
ìíSister Howitzer of Courteous Debateí. Now who would get that tattooed on his ass?î
ìHeís from Nova Scotiaî, said the nurse.
ìOh.î
That explains so much, thought the surgeon. Fucking Nova Scotia.
NOTE: I so sorry I missed this last week. I managed to include the v-word and NS-word and my name for the Unitarian Jihad. That name is perfect for me, by the way.
There should also be something about Mexican food in there too, right?
Bill couldn’t believe the newspaper article. Senator Suzie McHeadupherass was trying to pass a bill to outlaw vasectomies!
“I believe vasectomies promote male promiscuity,” the senator was quoted as saying.
Bill shook his head. He’d always thought being from fucking Nova Scotia was the reason for all his manly whoring.
🙂
i LOVE LOVE LOVE 50 word fiction day! anne of green gables and vasectomies in one story! that rules. and loon and liloo bringing in relevant posts from the past week. GENIUS.
chris, you get additional ooey-gooey peanut buttery bonus points, in addition to the extra super gooey chocolate chippy ones, if you incorporate mexican food as well.
I love the idea of dopey dumpy dudes dangerously drunk at 10 am. I may just be one of those guys some day. My big gut, my comb over, and my convertible. Yes it will be sweet… ill be on the course at 8 am doing dough nuts on the fairways, and throwing whiskey bottles at the catties. Ill give those bloated swine a wake up call, here comes death’s opening act, but he has gone solo now. To be true, he is hammered, and At this hour he means business… bubba! all that screaming metal, red paint and mud flying in a tornado of destruction. Ill make a city of cardiologists millionaires! Then ill go after them, “today’s pig, is tomorrows bacon!”
She offered super extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points like a carrot on the stick in front of a fucking Nova Scotia mule. All I had to do was get a vasectomy from that doctor on seventh avenue. Something about a trial run for her brother. What the hell. Sure.
This is kinda fun…
No, not the IRS my new friend! No danger here. Just a California boy by way of Portland, Chicago, and Atlanta…
Enjoying the intelligant prose! So what are the stakes now? Vasectomies, or is it my’s, Nova Scotia, and Mexican food? How stimulating… Have you seen/Did you enjoy “The Life of David Gail”…
Not much of an activist, about much of anything really, but I thought the movie was fabulous!
Peace!
joe-for now, i have not seen that movie, i’ll have to add it to my netflix.
jack, never listen to a girl who offers you super extra gooey chocolate chippy bonus points for minor [or major] surgery. it’s a bad idea.
william, that story has 62 extra, albeit fabulous, words in it, we are going to have to get you an editor if you want bonus points.
I think I have taken Jesus as my personal savior more that a dozen times. Itís a trick of that trade; people will often use material goods to push their spiritual product. I must say the practice comes in handy, and should never be over looked as an easy way out of an embarrassing situation. I have benefited with my dealing with Jesus Christ.
ps… still looking for an editor!
Well, I’ve got you down to 54…
Iíve taken Jesus as my personal savior more that a dozen times. Itís a trick of that trade; people will often use material goods to push their spiritual product. The practice comes in handy, and should never be over looked as way out of embarrassing situations. Iíve benefited with my dealing with Jesus Christ.
Thanks Jodi, much apprecaiation, to be sure, wanna help me with my book?