Can’t live with e’m… Can’t have ’em working for you.

No, not you guys, you don’t have the stupid. It’s those other guys.

So my jeans are feeling a bit saggy. I can pull them off without unzipping them. I’m inordinately proud of this fact. It’s a wonder I don’t go around showing everyone. I just tried on a pair of jeans that is a size smaller than what I normally wear, I keep ’em around for just this type of experiment. They fit. So I did a cheat weigh in. Supposed to only weigh yourself once a week. My day is Saturday.

Here is the thing, in Weight Watchers, the first goal they have you set is to lose 10% of your total body weight. Well, I surpassed it. And then some. I’ve lost a total of 21.8 lbs in about six weeks. According to WW, I am losing weight too quickly. More than 2lbs a week. But what’s a girl to do? I’m even cheating! Yesterday, I was a very naughty girl! I’m definitely not eating too little. Trust me. I snack all day long at work. And I did not drink all my waters yesterday. Or today.

I’m not going to stress about it, because I am sure I will plateau any minute now. And then i will be all sad, and remember the days when I was just showering the weight off. Besides, it’s hard to be too upset about being successful on a diet, you know what I mean?

Good afternoon, my internet monkeys, I send you banana flavored kisses.
I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, my brain is going “poundy poundy” which may be why I found this so delightful.

Now, I am not one to promote violence… no, not me. And, the lady in red may be the nicest sweetest, most wonderfulest woman in the world. But she had the air of the busy body to me, and, in my over-inflated opinion, she’d probably been asking for a punch for a long time. Never assume your thoughts on a matter are going to be welcomed.
I’m going to design a Sports Racer logo for Ze Frank’s The Show, so I can join the League of Awesomeness and get a Sports Racer name. Don’t know what I am talking about? Go watch it, it’s part of my morning routine. My favorite part. Even over brushing my teeth.

Do you want to know what it is? Do you do you do you? I think you should guess, and I will tell you tomorrow. It’s a very pretty name. And it appears in a very old song. Maybe that is how I will reveal it, I’ll post the song. It’s a pretty great song.

Ok, wait… I’ll give you a hint. It starts with “L.” And if you guess the song, and therefore the name, you win! You win the knowledge that you are the coolest.

I am drawn to looking at my high school reunion web site. It’s the same kind of compulsion you would have to look at a bad auto accident when driving by. I read the stories and the names and none of it means anything to me. The people I hung out with are obviously not active in the forum. It could be some other high school, far far away from mine, from another time, for all it means to me. And yet, I can’t help but go back and read their stories. Their posts on the forum. I keep waiting for something to mean anything to me.

I did learn that the stoner boy who like me, in the 10th grade I think… maybe 11th, because I told him to “fuck off” died of an overdose on his honeymoon. On career day, I was joking around with friends, and insulting some guy friends of mine. As per usual. We were in one of the rooms for the universities, I remember that. Anyway, this guy thought I was talking to him, so he called me a bitch. And I said, “fuck off! I wasn’t even talking to you!” He liked my sass, I guess.

From that day on, for a couple of weeks, he would corner me in the hallway. He’d say “Hey” in that way only the chronically stoned can say. And, I, being the clean and sober prissy dork, would say “yes. ok. hey. do you want something? I have to get to class” and scurry on. The last thing I wanted, at that time in my life, was to deal with someone so obviously on drugs. For reason too numerous to talk about now. He scared me. Not in a “I think he will hurt me” way. But I just wanted him to leave me alone. Eventually, he did.

On the high school reunion forum, they are talking about what a sweet, troubled guy he was. I never got that. I didn’t think he was bad, or mean, or dangerous. Just … foolish. And I had no tolerance for that behavior. I was pretty naive back then. Thank god I left Oklahoma for California after graduation. My world view was so tiny. I had no idea. I remember being shocked, amazed, and delighted to meet liberals at San Diego State. That was just so unheard of in my high school. And my father raised us to believe Democrat was a dirty word. Literally, my little brother thought it was a dirty word. And the music! Oh my god, the music was incredible, once I left Oklahoma and discovered college radio.

ummmm… what’s my point? Oh, nothing, I’m just getting sleepy and weirdly nostalgic on a Sunday night. I’d better go wash my face and figure out what to wear to work tomorrow. Maybe I should feather my hair… what do you think?

from Romy

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Apparently, I weigh .3 lbs less when I am soaking wet, than when I am dry. Or maybe I was just really really dirty.

I weigh 13.4 lbs more when I am holding my cat. Pru was not happy to know her own weight. She says she’s not fat, she’s just fluffy.

Oh, and I weigh 2.3 lbs less than I did last Saturday, which is weigh in day. So.. yay me.

Oh how I love Happy Loud Edgar #14. She is such a delight.

The am/pm’s by my house all have diet dr pepper on tap now, as well as regular. This is one of the tricks I use to get through the stupid diet. I’m pretty much a soda pop addict. I have a pretty good idea what 12 ounces of soda looks like, in terms of volume, so I will sometimes get a dr pepper with no more than 12 ounces in it, and fill the rest with diet. The smaller the cup I get, the higher the ratio of regular to diet. I take the 3 point hit. I don’t do it every day, just every once in a while. Happy Loud Edgar #14 noticed I wasn’t coming in as much, so I explained to her I was on a diet. She also noticed the smaller cups [I often get the smallest size now] and I explained to her the whole 12 ounces of regular being three points filling the rest with diet deal.

This morning I woke up hungry, and there was nothing good to eat in my house. When I went in for my teeny tiny soda, I couldn’t find anything healthy to eat, but my tummy was rumbly. So I grabbed a pop-tart. When I brought it up to the counter, I got a knowing look from Happy Loud Edgar #14.

HLE#14: AAIYYYAA…. WHAT’S THIS? WHAT ABOUT DIET, EH?

Jodi: I’m hungry! I need something now! Look, it’s got some fiber in it, maybe it’s not so bad… it’s low in fat…

HLE#14: AAIIYYAA…. IF YOU SAY SO… YOU KEEP TELLING YOURSELF THAT…

Jodi: [snatches pop-tart and mumbles] shut-up.

HLE#14: OOOOO-KAY, HAVE GOOD DAY, ENJOY TART!

She’s so sassy!