Category Archives: evildeb

evildeb, work

You know, gang, when you’re a superhero, you never know where the day will take you.

They pulled a dead body out of the water, outside our window this morning. I didn’t see it, but Paco did. On his birthday no less. He also witnessed the guy who jumped from the bridge onto our parking lot last year. Right outside the meeting room window. Yes, death of instantaneous on that one. And messy. He’s handling this one better. We have no evidence that the victim jumped from the bridge, could have just been a floater. KK passed on an interesting fact: if you cut the body’s belly open before you dump them in the water, it releases all the gasses, and they won’t float. Cool. Filing that grisly tidbit away for when I become a mystery writer.

Evildeb does not just cause pain in others, but also to herself. She has to get regular massages, to keep herself relaxed, or her head will literally pop off her neck from the tension. This means my calendar is full of notes regarding her comings and goings, and workings from home, due to her appointments.

jodi: so… are you working from home or not?

evildeb: on Wednesday afternoon I’m working from home

jodi: but you just cancelled it.

evildeb: no…I cancelled the original Monday apt

evildeb: just now

jodi: such a pain in the ass.

evildeb: indeed

jodi: i’m going to need an ass massage because of you.

evildeb: well, try to schedule it after work hours so you won’t have to put it tin the calendar

evildeb: your ass, or the apt

jodi: oh no. that is not fair.

evildeb: neither should be in my calendar

jodi: i am going to have it in the afternoon

evildeb: fine

jodi: because i want to work from home after my ass massage

evildeb: but leave your ass out of it

jodi: oh no, my ass is ALL OVER IT

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evildeb, movies and tv

Pink, brown, yellow, orange and blue – I love you!

it’s very quiet around here right now. Here being work. A lot of people are down south, at the Mother Ship, for the week. Including Evildeb. It means the parking is better and the lines in the cafe are shorter. Hey… Evildeb leaves town and the sun comes out. Coincidence?

I said I would try to do more, in February, in order to have things to blog about. [I finished all the House dvd’s, sadly.] So Saturday night, I did something. I went to a party at Evildeb’s house. She decided to have a function designed around two things, wine and the fact that Tessa had never seen “Yellow Submarine.” Neither had I, but I didn’t mention that since it was already part of the plan to begin with. The only problem with this plan was that Evildeb did not serve any of the psychedelic drugs required to make this movie the slightest bit tolerable. The music was good, that is true. But the movie itself? Everyone kept telling me it is a classic, and that I was just too young to understand. As the movie went on, I kept getting younger and younger. I’m surprised they let me stay up that late.

In the end, the party was enjoyable and Tessa and I proclaimed the movie to be absolute crap. Although we did enjoy singing along to “All Together Now” at the very end. Which, when you think about it, is a pretty crap song.

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evildeb, work

The Benefits of Her Doubt

Let’s get this straight, Evildeb does not trust you. You are up to something, and she knows it. You are going to mess with her, or with someone she cares about. She is keeping her Eye on you.



Evildeb: How long have you and William been communicating?

Evildeb: With each other, I mean.

Jodi: Since about May, I guess. Why?

Evildeb: June, July, August, September, October, November, December, January… that’s a long time.

Jodi: yeah…

Evildeb: As such, I am willing to give him the Benefit of the Doubt now.

Jodi: I see.. so suddenly. What brought this on?

Evildeb: I’ve been mulling. Plus, Paco* no longer has The Benefit of the Doubt.

Jodi: I know. Is this why you are able to give it to Wil?

Evildeb: Maybe.

Jodi: Wow, it’s his lucky day.

Evildeb: Yes. It is.

*Evildeb does not like electricity. She’s been shocked several times in life. [by base guitars, camper doors, and other conduits] Recently, Paco violated her trust by playing a practical joke on her… with a shocking pen. Click the little button on top, you get a little shock. If only it had been something less sparky. Deb has been forced to remove The Benefit of the Doubt from Paco. From now one, she’ll not readily accept anything he hands to her. Also, she is no longer talking to him. And by that I mean, she informs him regularly that she is not talking to him, until he asks her a question. [She is unable to not respond.] Also, she kicked him.

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books, evildeb, movies and tv

Jodi answers questions.

Thanks for asking questions, everyone! Now I can answer them, and therefore put off coming up with original content one more day. Whew. Evildeb also took time out to answer all your questions as well.



Thomas asks:

I have a question. If a car leaves New York at 5:30am and goes towards Washington D.C. at 55mph, and at the same time another car leaves D.C. and heads to New York going 65mph, which car will be closer to New York when they meet?

The blue one.

Delmer asks:

Does reading crime novels make you feel, um, less smart? (Maybe that’s not the expression I want. But it’s close.)



I know what you are asking. A few years ago, I wouldn’t have been reading crime novels. I only read “good books,” and “literature,” along with computer books and non-fiction. Wouldn’t be caught dead with a mass market paperback. And I had sapped the joy right out of reading. Then I picked up a trashy vampire hunter novel in an airport, and I remembered what I liked about books. I like stories, and I like to be entertained. I find value in reading every genre – romance, horror, sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, comics and graphic novels, general fiction – I like it all. Sometimes a book makes me think, and that’s great. But sometimes, all it does is make me laugh, and that’s invaluable too.

This weekend a friend of mine offered to lend me her Sue Grafton book when she’s done with it. The “S” one. I told her I really needed to start with “A” just to keep things tidy.

I suggest you start with “A.” You don’t have to, in fact, “S” is a pretty stand alone story. But I just feel, rather strongly, that when dealing with a series, it’s best to start at the beginning, watch the character develop along the way. Perhaps less so with Grafton than with others, but why not read the books the way god intended? In order.

Drink Jack writes:

I have started the Grafton books as well. Started with the “A” just to be completely anal (pun intended).



Good boy, Jack.

Any authors that have the feel of historical fiction with spies (similar to Da Vinci Code)?

You know, I’m not up on the spy stuff, so much as the crime stuff. But, you might try “The Eight” by Katherine Neville. Something I read a while back and remember enjoying.

River asks:

i have a huge crush on the guy who plays eric on wonder falls. let’s talk about that and how he has conveniently disappeared from tv and movies. what am i supposed to do now?

River, I know you have other crushes that you can concentrate on. I’m afraid that all you have left of Eric, are the dvd memories. IMDB says that he’s from Vancouver BC, you could come up here and stalk him, if you like.

“Yawn” asks:

I MISS YOU!

yeah, i miss her… wanna fight about it?

Nope! Missing me is perfectly acceptable.

Kirsten asks:

Um… what’s wonder falls?



Wonder Falls is a snarky little tv show that didn’t make it past 13 episodes because it was too good and too funny for mainstream America. Who suck. I will work on getting you addicted to it after you are done with Buffy. And Angel.

Evildeb asks:

Are you partisan about bread?



Yes I am.

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evildeb

You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats, please press “1” or say “goats”. To sacrifice a loved one or pet, press the pound key.

I have angered the high speed internet gods, somehow. I’m not sure how to rectify the situation. Perhaps a small animal sacrifice is needed. I received my new cable modem last night, hooked everything up according to instruction, and it’s not working. It appears it is not connecting with their network. Blinky green light instead of solid green light. Now I have to have a cable guy come out and look at it. And you know how much I hate calling tech support. Then today, I get emails from Verizon, thanking me for signing up for DSL service. A service they swear they didn’t take away from me in the first place. It should be working next week, they say. But… that’s a month after it went down! Since I am going to cancel it, they really needn’t bother. But, on the offhand chance the cable modem is not working by the then, I guess I’ll let them do what they want.

Which small animal would you sacrifice to the high speed internet gods? A squirrel?

That’s really it, nothing else exciting to say. Except, maybe my computer luck is turning around. Evildeb was pestering me, sticking her new shoes in my face. While they were on her feet. And five minutes later she dropped her mac on said shoes and feet and broke it. The mac, not the shoes or feet. Karma.

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evildeb

That’s very amusing, because in France he would be executed for this.

Scene: a large conference room, several rows of chairs facing the front. Tessa and Jodi sit on the far right of one of these rows. Evildeb sits on the far left, one row up. A business credo, if you will, is displayed on the wall, “A good plan executed violently this week, is better than a great plan executed perfectly next week”

Tessa: I don’t know about the word “violently,” it scares me. I don’t like it.

Jodi: Deb does, I bet.

Jodi and Tessa look over at Evildeb on the other side of the room. She is nodding her head, with a grin on her face. Her hands are clinched in TINY FISTS OF DOOM.

Jodi: See? I told you she would.

Later that same day…



Evildeb: I like doing things VIOLENTLY!!

Jodi: Like executing?

Evildeb: Yes! I like EXECUTING THINGS VIOLENTLY!!

Jodi: I knew you’d like that.

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evildeb

I’m now a famous Hollywood bitch, I mean I had to sacrifice a small baby for Satan, but things are so much better now.

I meant to show you this yesterday. I sent this to everyone I know who has a baby.

Satanwantsbaby

Because this website, which is both terribly funny and terribly frightening, brought us several minutes of amusement yesterday. Evildeb is very upset her mother did not have access to this, when she was a child:

Bitterkid

You know, it even looks a more than a little like her.

All this fun came to me via blog of a bookslut.

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evildeb, music, work

Drudgery and song

Once again, hell has frozen over and I am cleaning house. I’m working on the kitchen. I still haven’t finished the office, but a dirty kitchen is ickier. And it’s dirty. And messy. Both. I started at one end of the counter, and I am working my way around, cleaning surfaces as I clear them. That’s the way I like to clean, so I can see progress. I don’t just want to see bare counter top, I want to see bare and shiny counters!

Originally, I continued on like this, talking about cleaning, and I almost walked away in the middle of the post, I was so not entertained by it. The only thing less entertaining than cleaning, is reading about me trying to cleaning. So, instead I am going to post one of the greatest songs to clean along to EVER.


Lots of drama at my Place of Employment. We acquired a fairly good size company in the same realm we are in, and you know what happens when two big companies collide? Redundancy in staff. But, we heard tell of the best Xmas gift my POE has ever given us, only to receive emails telling us the shipment to Seattle offices was delayed. Once the other offices confirmed what we heard, we were sorely disappointed, and wanted our gift more than ever. Friday, some Executive types were up in Seattle for some Q&A, and Rockin’ Jody [did you know there is another Jodi at my POE? Have I mentioned that?] told me that he would pay me a US Quarter for every time I could work in the word “shuffle” into a question. A shiny Kansas State Quarter!

“Oooo… that’s my favorite one! It’s got a buffalo AND a daisy on it!” said Evildeb.

I didn’t do it. I’m not stupid.

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evildeb, sims

They’re Bouncy Bouncy Fun Fun Fun Fun!

Evildeb is not here this week. She may be at home, building her shrine to Johnny Cash, or baking pies for thanksgiving, I’m not sure. The rest of us are left here, at Grump Central. There are a lot of bad moods around here today. And maybe it’s because of air stagnation. We are under an air stagnation advisory. This is due to a high pressure front that remains over the pacific northwest, trapping all the pollution and smog and other nasties in the air. It’s super foggy in the morning and evening, and the air is icky. Maybe that’s what is making everyone crabby, I don’t know. But until it rains on Thursday evening, we remain under a cloud.

In an effort to snap out of it, I give you this happy video of one of my sims jumping on the couch. Isn’t that cheery?

Bouncy

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evildeb, macs

Evildeb falls down into a burning ring of fire

Evildeb has a new love. A new all consuming love. For Johnny Cash. She wants to have his babies, although she knows he is dead. Which makes it difficult. She now speaks to me primarily in lyrics. From Johnny Cash songs. She says it won’t last forever, but I am still a little worried. She’s been pretty stressed lately. She kept telling me that she got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout. I don’t even know what a pepper sprout is. Luckily, she has next week off. Hopefully, she’ll sit quietly and let her brain relax. Although I doubt it.

Just so you know, as I write these words, I am watching them appear on my brand new 23″ Apple Cinema Display. They look gorgeous! Later, I’ll write the words on my brand new 15″ Powerbook! But I am currently in the process of setting it up.

Jodi bought herself some presents today!

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