Well, when we last left me, I was cuffed and in the back of the state patrolman’s car. Right now, I am sitting in the DOL. For the second time today. They are calling numbers in the 90’s, soon to be 100’s, and in the 500’s. I am 373. I don’t know where I fit in. Oh, wait, they just called 359. There is hope. Ok, back to the story.

So, the officer searched my car and searched my bag, and called a tow truck to impound my car. No, he did not give me the option of calling anyone to pick me and the car up. He left me in the back seat. The back seat is actually hard plastic. I guess so they can hose it down after hauling the bleeding or vomiting. Or leakers of other bodily fluids. Too bad I didn’t barf. I was getting more annoyed simply because it was taking so long, and he was been a bit excessive, in my opinion. Because of him, I was going to have to call my mom and ask her to bail me out of jail. She wasn’t going to like that, it was going to upset her. This man was upsetting my mother! On thanksgiving no less.

I’d say about 25 to 30 minutes into the wait for the tow truck, he decided that he would not take me into the station and book me. He said he was going to take me to a gas station, and I could wait inside for someone to pick me up. Good news, especially since he was sparing my mommy the pain of my incarceration. But, he still didn’t uncuff me. He didn’t do that until we let me out in front of the gas station. 45 minutes after he first cuffed me.

I have to wonder if he was trying to scare me straight. Do you think so? Most people, in similar situations report they were not cuffed. My cousin was given a ride home by the cop! Not everyone has their car impounded either. Maybe he was angry because he had to work on Thanksgiving? I don’t know. He was pleasant enough, considering. He suggested to me that I would be more comfortable if I turned sideways, in the back seat.

On Friday, Mr. and Mrs Moon helped me get my car out of the impound lot. $197. But the courthouse was closed. On Monday, Mrs. Moon came up here and took me to the courthouse. $279. But then we found out the DOL was closed on Mondays. This morning, I decide to take the law into my own hands, and I drove down here when they first opened at 8:30. Only to be told that I had another ticket unpaid. One for overdue tabs. That happened during my incredible weeks of suck, in the later half of July. Not surprised I forgot that one. So I drove back to the courthouse I visited yesterday, wondering why they didn’t tell me about this yesterday. Only to find out it had to be sent to collections and I had to go there to pay it off and get the paperwork. $371. At the collections office, she told me I do not need to go back to the courthouse. She better not have lied to me. Because here I sit, in the DOL, waiting my turn while one and only one man handles numbers in the 300’s.

And there you go, another day of work missed, it’s already afternoon as I write this. Bothersome and annoying, but nothing more than blog fodder. I drove the speed limit all day and you know that’s gotta hurt. There was no way I was going to make someone else cart me around today. I’m trying to take care of this. I’ve had enough of their shananigans. Sure, I was wrong, but now I am trying to do the right thing.

I’m going to go to the Apple store after this. Buy myself a new Mighty Mouse or something. My optical mouse at home is dying. It’s driving me nuts. A bunch of people in the 300’s have given up. We are now at 365.

And now, thanks to Lloyd’s suggestion, I am going to leave you with an audio treat. Enjoy Was Not Was with “Hello Dad? I’m in Jail”

Well, we are back from Thanksgiving holiday. For the most part. I didn’t actually go to work today. I had a bit of a situation happen over the holiday. Which I will tell you about now.

When Thanksgiving Day started out, I never expected to be sitting in the back of a police car, hands cuffed behind my back. I also never expected to end up helping a woman give birth in the back of a taxi cab, saving a kid from drowning in a pool, or performing an emergency tracheotomy on someone with a ball point pen. Which is good. None of those things happened. Except for the cop car/ handcuff bit. As Dr. Stevil said to me, today via chat, I was cuffed and stuffed. And not in a good way.

Here’s what happened. I was coming down the hill from Snoqualmie Pass, into Issaquah. On the pass, the speed limit is 70, shortly before you round the curve into town, it reduces down to 60. Sometimes, I forget, and until I see Issaquah, I speed along. Thanksgiving night was one of those nights. But I slowed down before the curve, I swear. That’s why, I was confused when the Wa State Patrolman pulled me over. Did I know how fast I was driving… no it was more like 76… license and registration please… blah blah blah. You know how it works. He brought back the license and had me sign it, and I thought that would be it. But he asked me to step out of the vehicle.

Do you guys remember, back in September, when I got a speeding ticket for going 27 mph in a school zone? Well, I didn’t. In fact, I forgot to pay the ticket. It was only two months ago, but they suspended my license. So I was told by the WSP man, who had led me out to the back of my car. I thought he was going to show me something was wrong with my car. Or maybe even see if I was drunk. But no.

Cop: Did you know your license was suspended? Due to delinquent speeding ticket?

Jodi: Uh… no. What speeding ticket?

Cop: I don’t know which one. But it’s suspended, and I’m going to have to arrest you.

Jodi: What? Seriously?

Cop: Yes, please place your hands behind your back.

Jodi: No… really… seriously?

And he was. He put me in the back of his cop care, with my hands cuffed behind my back. He brought my purse and searched my purse. Then he searched my car.

Cop: You have a lot of stuff in your car.

Jodi: Yeah… I do.

Cop: Why is that?

Jodi: Why what?

Cop: Why do you have so much stuff in your car?

Jodi: Well…. because.

What a stupid question. If you are wondering how I am taking this whole thing, at this point, the hand cuffs, the searching, the imminent arrest, the answer is… fine. I was annoyed, mostly. A little bemused because he had to list the contents of my car on a form. Mostly, I was sorry I was going to have to call my mom out of bed to bail me out of jail. Actually, I never thought I would go to jail. Even if arrested. It simply did not occur to me to be worried.

to be continued…..

and I do. Actually, ze frank does. Please please please go watch this. I’m trying to be more responsible in what I discuss here.

Oh, fuck vitamins and exercise…. give me RITALIN!